


Lost Boys Like Me Are Free

by SterolineIsLight



Category: The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Drama, F/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-05-18 20:55:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 53,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5942803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SterolineIsLight/pseuds/SterolineIsLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Ugh gross, look at the new girl,” seemed to echo in her head. Caroline didn’t even look at the voice, but she could picture the kind of girl who would say that. It was probably a blonde girl, with a boyfriend, loads of friends and she was probably even a cheerleader. Most likely it was a girl, who looked a lot like Caroline used to, before everything happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It’s Where My Demons Hide

_I wanna hide the truth_

_I wanna shelter you_

_But with the beast inside_

_There’s nowhere we can hide_

* * *

 

Caroline knew what she had to do, for she had programmed it into her brain. _Keep your head down, don't talk and appear normal._

And so she awoke from a restless sleep to a house with a familiar empty, eeriness. She should have probably gotten used to the feeling by now, after all, the last time she woke up to a full house, she was five. But you never really get used to the gloominess that accompanies being alone. 

Although, at least her new home was filled with unorganized boxes. The small cardboard towers around the building gave it the illusion of being fuller than it really was. But maybe that was just Caroline’s self pity.

Instead of dwelling on that, she pulled herself out of bed and began getting ready. The shower was hot, but not scolding, although that didn’t stop her from showering quickly. She always did her best thinking in the shower and lately she didn’t want to think, not when her thoughts were plagued with foul things. Following her shower she began to dry her hair and pull clothes over her sickly, thin body.

The sunrise was peeking through the crack in her curtains, she could see the glare of it  on her mirror out of the corner of her eye. Caroline could vaguely remember a time when she would grin at the sight of the rising sun. For a sunrise meant new opportunities for the day ahead and a new adventure. 

Or at least it did back then. But now? Well now sunrise just meant the dawn of another day with one main goal, surviving. Another day of going through the motions and being alive without really living. They didn't make her excited anymore, although few things did. 

However, the sun did tell her one thing, and it was that she was running late, so quickly she grabbed her bag and left the house, completely skipping breakfast. On her walk to school she gazed down at her outfit. Jeans, boots, a maroon blouse and a jacket on top. It was a good outfit, one of her best. The cloth covered all the areas that it needed to, hid the rubber band on her wrist and even made her look slightly pretty. After all, she was starting a new school a month after the start of the year, so she should look at least slightly better than complete trash. 

Approaching the school she had to force her feet to keep moving. The eyes of students seemed to follow her trip towards the front door, making her want to reach for the rubber band on her wrist. However, she managed to resist the temptation, but just barely. 

_Keep your head down, don't talk and appear normal._

“Ugh gross, look at the new girl,” seemed to echo in her head. Caroline didn’t even look at the voice, but she could picture the kind of girl who would say that. It was probably a blonde girl, with a boyfriend, loads of friends and she was probably even a cheerleader. Most likely it was a girl, who looked a lot like Caroline used to, before everything happened.

_Keep your head down, don't talk and appear normal._

“Look guys, we have another school slut,” a guy exclaimed from a few feet away.

_Keep your head down, don't talk and appear normal._

“She looks like a freak.”

_Keep your head down, don't talk and appear normal._

Laughing seemed to echo around Caroline, as she almost ran to the office. She felt as if she was an animal in the zoo, with hundreds of eyes watching her every move, constantly judging. The books that she clung to her chest were gripped with white knuckles, while tears started to blur her vision. 

Everyone already hated her and she’d only been at the school for five minutes. She was stupid to think that this place could be any different, but that was her. Stupid, little, girly, Caroline.

“Yes dear?” asked a friendly voice in front of her.

Caroline shook herself out of her trance, only to realize that she was already in the office. In front of her sat an old looking secretary, who was gazing at her with kind brown eyes.

“Um I’m new, my name is Caroline Forbes,” Caroline admitted in a small voice, shuffling her feet nervously.

“Oh well hello there, and welcome to Mystic High. Let me just grab your information,” the woman said before turning back to the computer.

Caroline gave her a tiny smile, trying to ignore the stares that she could feel on her back. It would be better once she put everything into her locker and went to her first class. Although, that wouldn’t stop the stares, nothing would ever stop them.

“Okay so I see that you did choir at your old school, there are auditions tonight if you’re interested.”

Caroline opened her mouth to answer, before memories started to play in her head. “You can’t sing,” “do you actually think you’re good?” “you’ll never make it.”

“No,” Caroline spat, it was one of the loudest things she’s said for days. “I mean, no thank you, it’s just really not my thing anymore,” she finished, her voice now barely above a whisper.

Mostly because she wasn’t good enough.

“Oh alright then.” the woman asked, her eyebrows furrowed after Caroline’s outburst. “Anyway, here is your schedule, locker number and combination,” the woman told her, passing over some papers.

“Thank you,” Caroline replied, turning to leave.

“Oh and dear,” the woman started, causing Caroline to turn around. “If you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask.”

The woman received another small smile before the blonde girl left. She had heard that before, more than once in fact, and every time it was a lie. You never ask for help, Caroline learned that the hard way. She had given trust too easily, in the past, and she wouldn’t make that mistake again.

Regardless, she began striding down the hallway in search of her locker. Sets of eyes followed her down the hallway and it was as if their weight was crippling her. Fortunately, she found her locker very soon and after two attempts, she was able to pry the lock open.

Quickly, she shoved her bag into her locker and checked her schedule. 

‘History - Mr. Saltzman - Room 110’

‘Chemistry - Mr. Smith - Room 117’

‘English - Mrs. Lawner - Room 63’

‘Lunch’

‘Math - Mrs. Shawl - Room 89’

‘Biology - Mr. Michaels - Room 133’

Right when she finished reading her schedule a bell rang around the school, causing everyone to start walking through the halls in a giant mass. Bodies kept bumping into her, as she closed her eyes and quickly started smacking the rubber band against her wrist.

She practically shoved her face into her locker, as she forced herself to control her breathing. Her eyes were screwed shut, her chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. 

The bodies seemed to be getting closer and closer to her and she was trapped. The rubber band stung her now red wrist, but she still continued to snap it, trying to release the tension in her body. She was jammed into the wall, as people scurried around her like a never ending sea.

She was drowning.

“Hey are you okay?” someone asked behind her and before she could react, her shoulders were grasped and she was turned around.

The tears that she was holding in were finally released, as she tried to back away from the threat. Her arms started flailing, when her knees gave out and she landed on the floor. She was flat against the lockers, her back aching already at the pressure that she was putting on it, in order, to back away even further.

“Stay away, stay away,” she begged.

“Okay, alright, I won’t hurt you, don’t worry.”

Caroline slowly opened her eyes, the quiet voice soothing her. She found the hallway empty, except for her and a boy with forest green eyes, who was kneeling in front of her.

“Take my hand,” he held out his palm and for some reason she did just that. Slowly, he pulled on her hand, until her palm was flat against the middle of his chest. “Like me, in and out. In and out.”

Focusing only on the boy's chest, Caroline once again closed her eyes, and fought to match their breathing. Gradually her tears began to slow, as her breathing began to steady. Finally, after a few minutes, her eyes fluttered open and she took back her hand.

“Thank you,” she whispered, wiping her tears.

“You’re very welcome,” the boy smiled at her, for some reason making her return a small one of her own. “Do you think you can go to class?” 

Caroline could see the concern in the boy’s eyes and she couldn’t blame him. He had probably never seen someone having a panic attack before and the exhaustion that comes after one, is often more terrifying.

Stupid her, she had already embarrassed herself. Now he would tell everyone and she would be a laughing stock.

At the thought, Caroline nodded vigorously, before forcing herself to her feet. Except her legs almost gave out again and she had to use her locker to steady herself. Before she fell back down, a loose hand was steadying her shoulders, making her body tense.

“Whoa, are you sure you’re okay?” the boy asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Yes, I just need to get to class, which I made myself late to, like an idiot,” Caroline rambled to herself.

“Well what class do you have?” the boy questioned, still not leaving.

“History with Saltzman.”

“Me too and he loves me, so we will be good. Come on,” the boy confessed, grabbing Caroline’s history text book out of her locker, as she grabbed her notebook.

She quickly grabbed it from him, before locking her locker and following him. Her eye lids were heavy and her steps were slightly unsteady, but she could deal with it. She had to deal with it.

_Keep your head down, don't talk and appear normal._

The pair entered the classroom and silence immediately spread over the room. It was as if every person was glaring at her, and Caroline wondered how bad it would look if she ran. But she knew that wasn’t an option, so instead she just gazed at the ground.

“Mr. Salvatore, thank you for joining us,” Mr. Saltzman barked.

“Sorry sir, it won’t happen again,” the boy beside Caroline answered.

“I should think not, where were you?” 

Caroline’s eyes went wide, in panic. This was it, her normal high school image was dissolving around her. She hadn't even lasted an hour because she had a stupid panic attack.

Stupid. Useless. Unwanted. Screw up.

“Overslept and then I found her looking for your class,” the boy said.

He didn't give her up. Was he trying to trick her?

“Of course, Miss…?” Mr. Saltzman trailed off.

“Forbes, Sir. Caroline Forbes,” Caroline finished for him in a small voice.

“Right, the new girl. Well you may take a seat at the back by Stefan. We are just starting to take notes on the civil war.”

Caroline nodded obediently before heading towards the back of the room. Every pair of eyes followed her track and remained fixed on her, when she looked around in confusion.

The only people in the back were two girls. Was one of them called Stefan?

“Looks like we will be neighbours,” commented the boy from the hallway, as he walked past Caroline to sit in a desk.

The blonde, just averted her eyes and collapsed into the desk next to his. This was the only time in her life that she had been thankful that the desks were in individual rows. She didn’t know why she had trusted Stefan or why he hadn’t told everyone what happened. Surely, it was out of some sort of pity.

_Keep your head down, don't talk and appear normal._

Regardless, Caroline had to put it out of her mind. For the rest of the day she would stick with her plan and not talk to anyone. After all, she didn’t think she could deal with another student staring at her for the duration of the lesson. Stefan’s dark green eyes hardly strayed from her body, except for when he occasionally looked at the board, and Caroline couldn’t help but wonder if he was studying her.

Despite the weight of his gaze, she was quite focused on the lesson, except for when her phone vibrated. She could feel her whole body tense up, as she felt it against her thigh. 

It couldn’t be who she thought it was, there was no way that he knew her new number. He couldn’t have found her. She reassured herself repeatedly before finally taking out her iPhone and looking at it.

Mom: Sorry Care, but I won’t be home for dinner tonight. Let me know if you go out!

Caroline could feel her body relax slightly at the sight of the text. It was just her mom, she was fine. She was safe and he hadn’t found her.

At least not yet.

* * *

 

_Don’t get too close_

_It’s dark inside_

_It’s where my demons hide_

_It’s where my demons hide_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys and welcome to my new multi-chapter fic. The whole fic is titled after a song called Lost Boy by Ruth B. Give it a listen because the song is amazing and it's a metaphor used throughout the fic itself.
> 
> However, this chapter was named after Demons by Imagine Dragons, and each chapter following this will be a different song.
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed this story and if you have any questions, feel free to go on tumblr and ask me!


	2. I Walk Alone

** Trigger Warnings: **

Self hating, scratching and self harm.

* * *

 

_I walk a lonely road_

_The only one that I have ever known_

_Don't know where it goes_

_But it's home to me and I walk alone_

* * *

 

Caroline let out a breath when the bell rang to signal the end of English class. She loved Shakespeare as much as the next person, but even she was getting sick of her teacher's dramatic reading.

However, this was the part of the day that she had been dreading, it was lunch time. Meaning that all of the students would gather in the cafeteria, to eat and talk... Probably about the weird new girl.

At her old school, Caroline had managed to find a quiet corner where she could do her homework and avoid conversation, so she had been glancing at the school map all day to try and find somewhere like that. It was in her last block when she realized that the school had a big library, meaning that it would be large enough that she could remain hidden, even if there were other students inside.

The only problem was that it was through the cafeteria, the place where many students were currently heading. She gulped, as she spotted them all through the door to the hallway, craning her neck to watch them all pass. Her body seemed to be glued to her chair, in the back of the room and she watched as the last few students filed out. Just seeing all of the faces so close to her, already made her hands start to shake. It wasn't the people in general, but more of the amount of them.

All pushing in on her.

Trapping her.

Leaving no way out.

"Miss Forbes?" Mrs. Lawner asked from the front of your room. "I have all the items you missed right here, did you need anything else?"

Caroline shook her head, before rising up from her chair. She slowly stepped up to Mrs. Lawner's desk, trying to ignore the panic that was already rising in her chest at the thought of travelling to the library. A small smile was forced onto her face, as she grabbed the assignments from her teacher and slid them on top of her binder.

The noise in the hallway had depleted, as the majority of students were already in the cafeteria. Caroline was about to turn around when Mrs. Lawner began to speak, "You know, you should really buy the special today. It's really good and it would be a nice to start to your time here," the large woman suggested. Again Caroline, placed another smile in her face, before nodding her head and turning around.

There was no way she was buying the special. It was a meatball sub, which meant fats. Fats, that Caroline couldn't afford to consume. 

She had already seen people gaping at her size and besides, skipping one or two meals wouldn't affect her health. Putting on even more weight would though, and she was already a fat tramp.

Caroline shook her head, slightly, to break her out of her trance, before hesitantly walking out of the classroom. She strolled down the mostly empty hallway, feeling as if she could breath for the first time that day. The large hallway offered a wide space that was only occupied by her and a few other students who were at their lockers.

However, her joy was short lived, when she heard the low rumble of the cafeteria. She forced herself to keep moving closer towards it, now at a slower pace. The library was straight across and as long as she stuck to the wall, she should be okay.

Although, the thought didn't stop her from leaning against the wall, beside the opening to the large area. A tall door opened to the grand room, that was packed with students of all shapes and sizes. The murmur of voices, filtered out into the hallway, and Caroline's breathing was already suffering. Sweat began forming on her forehead, as she snapped her eyes closed. However, the darkness did nothing to comfort her, when all the voices did was get louder.

She just had to walk across the room, keep her head down, stick to the wall and not draw attention to herself. Besides, she was small and unnoticeable, that much she knew. Meaning, that as long as she didn't act like an idiot, she should be okay.

Blue eyes snapped open, as a determined look set onto her face. Before she could think about it anymore, she nudged herself off of the wall and pushed open the door.

Immediately, her feet began to move at a fast pace underneath her, as her eyes never strayed from the ground. She could hear whispers around her and feel the weight of stares being placed on her back. Panic began to set throughout her body, so she began to move faster.

She reached the corner and quickly turned, forcing her feet to move at an even higher speed. Her breath started coming out in gasps, as the laughter seemed to echo around her.

50 meters.

Tears began to form in her eyes.

40 meters.

"The new girl is so weird."

30 meters.

Her English binder was flat against her stomach, attempting to hide her shame, the papers on top of it crinkling,

20 meters.

"What a freak."

10 meters.

She was almost there, the relief was already flooding her body and her eyes began to light up.

5 meters.

Suddenly, her foot connected to something hard and before she could stop herself, she was headed towards the ground.

She groaned, as the people around her chuckled and cheered, her face cold against the tiled floor. The binder was digging into her stomach, as she attempted to push herself back up, without looking at the person who had tripped her.

"Whoops, didn't see you there," a boy called, more laughter responded, while Caroline forced herself into a kneeling position.

"No one really sees her though, do they?" Another voice joked.

The blonde girl, just rose into a standing position, before pushing her feet to move towards the library, pleading for herself not to cry. However, before she could even make it five steps someone had pushed her back into the wall. A hand rested on each shoulder, locking her to the wall and the tears that she was holding in, came rushing out in a stream.

It was too much, too similar to _him_.

She had been in this exact position too many times, and so her body betrayed her and became locked. If she didn't move, she wouldn't feel it. Even when her mind screamed for her to move, to fight back, she didn’t. It would be less painful and it would end faster.

So her eyes clenched shut, as she waited for it to be over.

But before anything could happen, the pressure was gone and if it wasn't for a softer grip on her waste, Caroline would have fallen over. When she finally opened her eyes, it was to see none other than Stefan Salvatore, standing with his back to her. Putting himself between her and the football team, who were all gaping at him.

"Leave her alone Lockwood," snapped, Stefan, staring at a guy who stood in front of the rest of the team.

"Oh come on captain," another boy whined.

"You too, Mason. You and Tyler leave this girl alone, she did nothing to you," Stefan responded, firmly.

Although, the hand that rested on Caroline's hip, was the definition of gentle, directly opposing his tone. Causing Caroline to wonder why the captain of the football team, was stopping his team from harassing her.

After all, she wasn't worth saving.

"That's right Salvatore, she doesn't do anything," the boy named Tyler said. "She just sits at the back of the room, like a freak. And whenever anyone goes near her, she scurries away."

The words went straight to Caroline's heart and she wondered how everyone new how worthless she was. Was it really that obvious? Well she supposed that it must be.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," a raven haired boy called out, making his way beside Stefan. "Why don't you leave this girl and my little bro alone."

Her eyebrows furrowed, as Caroline realized that someone else had come to her rescue. How many other people knew what was happening? But then she realized that the whole room was in a deafening silence.

The tears still hadn't stopped and Caroline chose then to glance behind the football team. The whole school seemed to be watching, some people had phones, while others stood on tables and Caroline could feel her breathing coming out in bursts.

This video could go viral.

A video of her getting tripped and having a panic attack right in the middle of the cafeteria. Anyone could see it, even he could see it.

Caroline's breathing became worse at the thought, and Stefan's body tensed in reaction. Then something happened, that if Caroline didn't see, she would have thought she imagined it.

Stefan turned his head, just a fraction and whispered, "When the time comes, run."

"Salvatores get the fuck out of the way," Mason snapped, going to stand beside Tyler.

Stefan began to step away from Caroline, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. She wasn't really quite sure what he meant, but before she knew what was happening, Stefan had gripped Tyler's shirt collar.

"Not a chance, Mutt."

No one was really quite sure who threw the first punch, but soon it was an all out brawl, with the four boys not holding back. The tension between them had been building for a while, but one thing was for sure, no one saw Caroline slip into the library.

She strode to the back corner, as far from the door as possible and luckily there was a large bean bag chair, and no one else around. Meaning that when she sunk into it, she could ride everything out.

The panic attack came before she was ready, and the tears cleaned off her small remainder of mascara. She closed her eyes, sobbing and gasping into her lap, as she pulled her knees up to her chest.

The hands that were on her shoulders, minutes before, seemed to be imprinted into her skin and the feeling still remained. Long faded bruises burned across her body, words that were forgotten began to replay and her panic began to grow.

She had to remove the tension from her body, and her elastic band wasn’t cutting it, so she did the only thing that she knew.

In one motion her jacket was on the floor, revealing her wrists to the history books that surrounded her. Her left wrist was still red and raw from her last freak out, only one week before, when she got the first text message on her new phone. There were still small scabs from then and without hesitating, Caroline tore them off.

She used her thick nails on her right hand to tear through the skin, resulting in small drops of blood being released. But it wasn’t the blood, it was the burn that mattered.

_"Whoops, didn't see you there.”_

Scratch.

_"No one really sees her though, do they?"_

Scratch.

_"She just sits at the back of the room, like a freak.”_

Scratch.

_“Do you really think you deserve better than me? I’m doing you a favour, slut.”_

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

All the words that she had heard seemed to resonate within her and she hated herself for how true they were and how much they affected her. But then she could hear a voice in the back of her head. Not one screaming hurtful words, but instead speaking soft words of comfort.

_“Like me, in and out. In and out.”_

She could almost feel Stefan’s chest underneath her palm, causing her hand and breathing to slow. Without realizing it, Caroline’s scratching stopped, as Stefan seemed to talk her down from her dark place.

How could he affect her when he wasn’t even there? Before she could think about it, she heard the door slam. The bang seemed to wake her out of her stupor, causing her eyes to flash open, and her jacket to be yanked on.

She quickly rose from her position and hid behind a nearby shelf, looking at the table in the middle of the room. Her left wrist stung slightly, but the pain was pushed out of her mind, as she watched four people enter the room.

The first was the raven haired boy, followed closely by a small brunette girl, who was grasping his hand within her own. Caroline could see that she was trying to wipe the blood off of his face with a cloth.

“Why would you pick a fight with the Lockwoods?” asked the girl.

“Ask Hero Hair over there. It was his idea Elena, not me,” the boy cried, sitting down in a chair, Elena perching on the table close to him, so she could wipe his face.

“Yea Stefan that is a good question,” said another girl. 

This one was shorter, with darker skin and kind eyes. Caroline couldn’t help, but think that she carried the world on her shoulders.

“I don’t know Bonnie,” Stefan admitted, finally coming into view.

He was worse off than his brother, by a lot. Where the raven haired boy just had a bloody noes, Stefan had a bloody lip, a black eye forming and he was limping slightly. But despite all that, Caroline still wanted to jump into his arms and hold him.

She could remember a time when she was a young girl and she would wish for a knight in shining armour to come to her rescue. Stefan had suddenly embodied that knight, if only she believed in dreams anymore.

“Oh I know why, it’s because of that girl,” Stefan’s brother sneered.

Stefan just rolled his eyes, sitting in the chair that Bonnie pushed towards him, while she sat down in her own.

“It’s not just that Damon,” Stefan sighed. “Caroline just seems so sad and I want to help her, I really do.

“We know that Stefan,” Bonnie replied.

“But picking a fight with the Lockwoods is not the way to do it,” Elena chastised.

Damon, grinned at her, stroking her thigh before turning to his brother. “Besides where did Barbie go?”

“I just told her to run,” he answered. “It was the fear in her eyes guys. I’ve never seen anyone so scared in my life.

“You can’t save everyone though brother,” Damon told him.

Stefan opened his mouth to respond, but before he could the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch. The gang left the room, leaving Caroline leaning against the bookshelf.

Damon was right, Stefan can’t save everyone, especially not her. 

It had been cemented into her brain, and looking down at her irritated wrist, Caroline knew why.

* * *

 

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_

_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

_'Til then I walk alone..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> So this chapter is based on the song called Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day. I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and feel free to message me at anytime. Also, thank you guys for giving this story so much love, I really appreciate it.
> 
> Don't forget to rate and review!  
> ~Lizzie


	3. No One's Gonna Tell You When

_Wake up to sun_

_'Cause morning does come_

_If all you can rely on_

_Is the feel of your feet on the wood floor_

_And all you can depend on_

_Is a movement, gives you some direction_

_Then…_

* * *

When Friday finally rolled around, Caroline was so ready for the weekend. She felt physically and emotionally drained all the time and the only relief that she got was when she arrived at home.

The moment right before she went to sleep was her favorite part. It was when her bed supported her cross-legged self, as she gazed at the setting sun, while low music crooned in the background. A small smile would appear on her face, when she realized that she had made it through another day, against all of the odds, she had actually made it.

The only bad part was falling asleep because she knew what would await her. It was dark images and words with no escape, as she tossed and turned, before waking herself up with her screams. The fear that accompanied sleep depressed her, for she wondered if she would ever truly be peaceful.

Regardless, history class was almost done, and Caroline was writing down random lyrics in the margin of her notebook. Mr. Saltzman was droning on about explorers, his voice becoming a low mumble, until Caroline heard the dreaded words.

"This will be a group project, so you'll need a partner."

The grimace was on her face before she could stop it and the excitement that accompanied her with the promise of the weekend, faded away. She would have to talk to someone and work with them, probably outside of school.

Her hands were already shaking under her desk.

"Hey," she heard, whispered to her right. On instinct she turned, to see Stefan Salvatore looking at her. "Do you want to work together?"

Her eyebrows furrowed without her consent, as she tried to comprehend what Stefan was suggesting. The thought that someone would want to work with her, confused her to no end, but before she could respond, a cough came from the front of the room.

“Do you have something to share with the class Miss Forbes?” Mr. Saltzman began. “Or would you like me to wait, until you’re done undressing Mr. Salvatore with your eyes?”

She could almost feel her cheeks turning red, as the humiliation seeped into her body. The whispers had already started, along with the giggling and Caroline could barely form a sentence. For she knew that no matter what she said or did, it wouldn’t stop the rumors from spreading.

But she probably deserved it.

Before she could try to fix the situation, Stefan once again came to her rescue. “Mr. Saltzman, it was my fault. I was just asking Caroline if she wanted to be my partner, sorry for disrupting.”

It was if a spell was spread across the room and all at once, faces that were snickering at her, were staring at Stefan in adoration. Although, Caroline had noticed the effect that he had over people, this was one of the only times where it was painfully obvious. 

It seemed that the football captain was the superstar of the school and he could do no wrong. She had heard people exclaiming in the hallway, about how he’d “stuck up for the weird new girl, had to do extra laps in practice and everything.” 

The thought that someone that powerful wanted to befriend her, should have frightened her more, but for some reason it didn’t. 

The bell let out a loud ring, signalling the end of the class, and as Caroline was gathering her books, she noticed that Stefan was waiting for her. A small smile appeared on her face without permission when she turned around to face him.

“You have chemistry right?” Stefan asked, making her nod. “Cool, I’ll walk with you.”

Caroline’s eyes widened in response, but Stefan just grinned before following her through the door. She could feel the stares as soon as they left the room, and she realized what everyone else was seeing. They were seeing the new girl, who cries all the time and acts like a freak, strolling down the hallway with the superstar of Mystic Falls High School. She could practically feel the new jokes and jabs at her being created, and she didn’t realize that she was reaching for her rubber band, until Stefan grabbed her wrist. 

Blue eyes, met green, when she stared at him out of shock. Past memories flashed behind her eyes, of times when she was in this exact same position. She could remember begging, and pleading, and sobbing, and laughing, and yelling, and fear, constant fear.

“Hey, hey,” Stefan spoke, releasing her wrist and stepping in front of her, seemingly knowing what his touch had caused.

Through her blurry eyes, she could see him wrapping his hands around her books, as if supporting her without truly touching her. Then slowly, as if transporting a rabid animal, he moved them to the side of the hallway.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” he whispered.

“They’re all staring, more than usual,” Caroline responded in a small voice, looking around at all of the groups who were whispering around them.

“Hey, hey. Look at me,” Stefan commanded, in the gentlest of voices. “None of them matter. They can make up rumours or do whatever they want, but that’s all the power that they have.” Caroline gazed into his green eyes, seemingly in a trance. “I promise you, I will not let anything happen to you.”

She shouldn’t believe him, but there was just something about Stefan that made her want to open up. There was a part of Caroline that wanted to feel safe again, and although she would have a long way to go, she wanted to get better. 

She wanted to heal.

“Thank you,” she responded to Stefan, sincerity lacing her voice.

Stefan nodded, before turning back towards the chemistry classroom and walking with her. They walked in a comfortable silence, but that in itself was a miracle for Caroline. For the first time in a long time, there was no background track in her head, instead there was nothing.

“Okay, this is you right?” Stefan asked, shaking her out of her trance and causing her to nod. “Well I have to go, but I’ll meet you by your tree at lunch okay? That is if you want to be my partner,” Stefan corrected himself at the end.

“Of course I do, I’ll see you then,” Caroline responded, before shooting him a smile.

The smile that she got in return made her’s grow, as she walked into her class. While heading towards her desk at the back of the room, she started thinking about lunch.

After the whole disaster on the way to the library on Monday, Caroline had found a large tree at a corner of the school property. It was near the football field, but most people still bypassed it, which was fine with her. She was able to do her homework and think without interruption and for the first time she began to wonder how Stefan knew that she sat out there. 

However, before she could think about it anymore, the teacher began talking, and it was nonstop until the end of the class. After she waited for the halls to mostly empty, she ran to English, to find that it was mostly the same. Her eccentric teacher kept their attention wrapped, while explaining the devotion that Juliet felt to Romeo, meaning that Caroline had little time to think about her own handsome prince.

Although, when the bell rang and she slipped out the side doors in the hall to escape the crowd, she told herself that she couldn’t feel that. In fact, she didn’t feel that. Stefan was just a nice boy, who she was doing a project with and the butterflies that appeared when she saw him, meant nothing. 

“There you are,” Stefan called from under the tree, making Caroline blush against her better judgement.

“Hey,” Caroline greeted him.

“Hey.” They sat in silence, staring at each other, until Stefan cleared his throat. “So I was thinking that we could talk about the disaster that happened in Congo, with King Leopold.”

Caroline was nodding before he even finished his sentence. That was the one that she wanted to do, as she hated people being taken advantage of and forced to do things. 

Although, maybe she just connected to that.

“Okay, so now that, that’s decided, I think we should get to know each other,” Stefan mentioned. “Tell me about yourself.”

_“Your hopes, your dreams, everything you want in life.”_

The voice echoed in her head, making Caroline slip into another world. There were so many similarities between Stefan and _him_ , but yet so many differences. Perhaps, the biggest difference was that Stefan was genuine, or at least he seemed to be.

Then again, who said that he didn't just pity her? After all, Caroline had heard the nickname, “charity case,” being thrown around, so maybe that’s all she was.

For _he_ had also pretended to care, that’s how she was sucked in. With kind words, innocent touches and longing stares, that all added up, until she was devoted. 

Until she was a puppet.

“Caroline?” she shook her head. “You okay? You seemed to go into a different world.

“Oh, yeah I’m fine. So, um, what do you want to know?”

Stefan seemed to think for a second, his eyebrows furrowing. “How about I ask you a question and then you ask me?” she nodded back, after all, she could just lie. “Okay, birthday?”

“October 10. Favorite color?” she asked, deciding to go down the easy route as well.

“Blue,” he replied, faster than she expected. “Favorite time of day?”

“Sunset, I love the colors,” she sighed. “Favorite food?”

“Well, I’m Italian, so if I didn’t say pasta, I think my mom would kill me,” he smiled, as she let out a small giggle. “If you could travel anywhere, where would you want to go?”

_“I’ll take you… Rome, Paris, Tokyo?”_

She could picture _him,_ saying it, as they stood in his studio. If only she knew what was coming, if only she knew that the promises were contracts that she had already signed.

“Probably somewhere off the grid, not anywhere popular, like somewhere secret,” she hated how careful she still was. “You know?”

“Yea, it’s almost better than all the big destinations,” Stefan looked at her then, and she felt, not for the first time, that he could see right through her. “Like a place that’s just yours.”

“Exactly,” she pointed at him in excitement. “Like a place where your past couldn’t haunt you and no one could find you and it was all yours. A place where you could be yourself and finally relax into who you are, not who you should be. A place where-“

But she stopped then and turned towards Stefan. The guy who for some reason got her to talk with more vigor and energy than she had in ages. It was like he’d gradually taken down her defences throughout the conversation.

Caroline looked down then at how she was sitting. Her normal stick-like posture had been replaced with a relaxed slouch, as if she was an actual, normal teenager. Not one weighed down with worries, but one who cared about homework and boys.

“How did you-?” she started.

“What’s your passion?” he asked cutting her off.

“What do you mean?”  


“Well we all have that one thing that we love and want to do forever. Mine is write, so what’s yours?” he questioned, seemingly innocent.

She could lie, she had to lie.

“I used to sing,” she admitted, in a small voice. “All around the house, it drove my mom nuts,” she let out a giggle, before frowning. “I don’t know why I told you that.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re tired of hiding,” Stefan suggested, causing Caroline to stare at him critically. “But that’s for you to decide not me.”

It was as if all of her defences had fallen, the castle had been invaded without her realizing it, and Stefan stood in the middle of the courtyard. Maybe she could actually let others in, now that one had finally passed.

Maybe she could-

“Hey there you are!” yelled a voice behind her.

Caroline whirled around to see Bonnie, Damon and Elena all coming towards them, smiling at Stefan as they walked.

All at once, the gates closed, the walls were raised and all the soldiers were standing at the ready, with their swords raised up. Caroline could feel her back straightening, as tension flooded back into her body. Her defences were back up.

They shouldn’t have dropped in the first place.

“We were looking everywhere for you, little bro,” Damon admitted, as the three of them took a seat, causing Caroline’s hands to sweat. “Hey there Goldilocks!”

It happened so fast, that Caroline couldn’t have stopped it if she wanted to. One second, Damon was sitting beside her, and the next he had his arm slung over her shoulder. All at once, her body was as tense as an arrow quiver, her breathing began to shorten and her eyes were clamped shut.

It was as if a bucket of cold water had been dropped over her head.

_“You’re mine_ ,” was whispered, possessively into her ear, as she was shoved into a chest. She was a trophy girlfriend, not a person, but property. She was _his_ , not her own.

Tears were already collecting, her hands were shaking, there was no way out, and then she could hear it distantly.

“Caroline, Caroline.”

She gasped, her eyes opening to reveal Stefan gazing at her worriedly, the others behind him. His hands were resting loosely on her legs, the tree behind her supporting most of her weight. Caroline could practically feel the other three pitying her, and whispering about her mini episode.

All because Damon put his arm around her shoulder.

“I’m going to go,” Caroline said, before roughly standing up.

“You should see the nurse,” Bonnie, suggested, but Caroline just shrugged off Stefan’s arms, and starting to walk away.

“I’m fine, really, thanks though.”

“Well, you should at least come to movie night,” Elena called, making Caroline stop, out of pure shock. “Seriously, we do it every week and this week it’s tomorrow night, you should come.”

No she shouldn’t. She needed to protect herself, all of them obviously pitied her and wanted her to stay away.

But she could remember Stefan’s words, and maybe she really needed to stop herself from hiding. So to everyone’s surprise, including her own, she opened her mouth and called, “okay see you then,” before walking away.

* * *

 

_Begin again_

_You're no calendar_

_You're no concrete plan_

_Begin again_

_Don't waste your time_

_'Cause no one's gonna tell you when_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> So this chapter is based off of the song Begin Again by Measure. Seriously it's amazing, give it a listen!
> 
> It looks like Caroline has decided to start helping herself, but let's hope that the momentum continues. What do you guys think happened to her? Let me know!
> 
> ~Lizzie


	4. I Can't Do It On My Own

_But I've never felt this fume so heavy_

_And I've never felt this fume so low_

_Yeah it is awake inside my whole soul_

_But you are my strength I won't stand alone_

* * *

 

It was one in the morning and Caroline’s bright blue orbs were fixed on the moon. The new moon was in a few days, meaning that there was only a sliver of light in an otherwise dark sky.

Of course there were stars. Stars that attempted to help the moon light up the night. Caroline rolled her eyes at that, as if the stars could actually help the poor moon, for it was destined to wallow in the darkness.

At least until it renewed itself again.

“Hello Mr. Moon, long time no talk,” Caroline spoke, facing the sliver of light. “I don’t know if you remember me, but it’s Caroline Forbes. When I was a kid we used to speak all the time, I’m sorry that I stopped, but I guess real life sort of stomped on my imagination.”

A frown appeared on her otherwise blank face, as she gazed at her old friend. She knew that she looked and sounded crazy, but with her mother at the station she began to get transported to another time, many years before.

_Yelling and crashing echoed around a small home in the suburbs, as a small girl hummed up in her room. She patiently brushed the hair of her favorite doll, her humming getting louder and louder._

_“Why do you think they fight so much Mr. Moon?” she suddenly asked, the bright circle in the sky. “Do you think that I’m doing something wrong?”_

_Her mother was crying now, and she heard her name screamed by her father. Yet the moon still didn’t answer her whispered question._

_Her humming continued, when bangs began to join the crying. She wondered if Mr. Moon could see her tears from that far away, but then again why would he care? After all, her parents didn’t, so why would he, when he had the whole world to look after._

_Using her small hands to move her golden locks, from the tracks that the tears created, she quickly tucked herself in for the third time that week. Three hours was long enough to wait for a goodnight from her parents._

Years later the same girl sat in the same position. With her back against the headboard and her legs pulled up to her chest, as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks at the memory. She had been five years old back then. Five years old and she was already beginning to learn the cruelties of the world.

If she could go back in time, she would tell herself to run.

Run as far away as possible and never look back. Although, if she did run away and flee, she would be more alone than she was now. Besides she deserved what she got, that she knew for sure.

Suddenly, her glossy eyes faced the light in the sky yet again. “I can’t go tomorrow can I, Mr. Moon?”

She already knew the answer to that question, but she supposed that she wanted to hear that she could really go. That perhaps she could be a normal girl for just a day, and have a chance at having real friends.

A cruel, humorless, laugh shook her shoulders. After all, she hadn’t watched a movie in years, and she hadn’t seen an action movie since she was nine. 

She could still remember when at ten years old had picked up a movie cover and started crying, in the middle of a store because of the gun on the front of the box. Of course, she had gotten slightly better, and for a few years she just avoided action movies.

That is until _him_.

Now she couldn’t watch horror, romance, drama, musical, or even documentaries. Comedies were occasionally okay, but mostly she just stuck to watching reruns of FRIENDS. 

So going to a movie night with four strangers? Not the best idea.

But she still couldn’t get Stefan’s words out of her head. “ _Maybe it’s because you’re tired of hiding_ ,” and wasn’t she? Wasn’t she sick of being the freaky new girl? But would going to one movie night and risking everything really change that?

It was two in the morning and Caroline’s bright blue orbs began to flutter closed, as she slipped underneath the blanket. “Goodnight Mr. Moon,” she whispered, before falling into a restless sleep.

* * *

A loud beep caused Caroline to jump in surprise, as she lazily filled in math questions. She quickly slipped off of the bar stool and grabbed the heat up meal from the microwave, before searching through the drawer for a fork.

Her day had been rather productive, as she had decided that they had been unpacked for long enough. So after waking up at the crack of dawn, from another nightmare, she threw her hair into a pony tale, slipped on some clothes and began sorting through boxes.

She even managed to convince herself that the annoyance of the boxes was the only thing that caused her to go into a frenzy. It definitely wasn’t the wish that she could go tonight, that was preposterous.

Regardless, she had finally finished and decided that while eating dinner she would do homework and then begin cleaning. After all, she hadn’t really eaten since breakfast the day before and she knew that she needed something in her body, just to keep her going. Unfortunately, the only thing that they had in was microwave meals, but she would work it off tomorrow on her jog to the grocery store.

Besides it wasn’t like her mom would buy groceries.

Caroline had just started on the fake mash potatoes, when the doorbell rang and she froze. Panic rushed her body, as she peered at the door from her place at the kitchen counter.

It couldn’t be _him_ , for she had separated herself from him. There was no way that he could have found her, it was probably just a neighbor.

The words repeated in her head, as she slowly approached the door, as if nearing a wild animal. But suddenly she was right in front of the wood, and her shaky hand was rising to the lock.

She could remember forced entries and being shoved against the door. With sloppy kisses being pushed on her and hands grabbing her where she didn’t want to be grabbed. “ _You like it, you slut._ ” But she didn’t and she wanted it to stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

“Caroline you in there?” called, a familiar voice from the other side of the door, startling the blonde.

Her eyebrows furrowing, Caroline pulled open the door to reveal Bonnie and Elena, looking at her with slightly concerned looks.

“What are you guys doing here?” she asked, not being able to hide the shock from her voice. She felt naked in front of them, with a makeup free face, a pair of leggings, a messy ponytail and a thin long sleeve shirt. On instinct, she crossed her arms, as if giving herself a hug and making herself smaller.

“Movie night, duh!” Elena laughed, holding up a bag of microwave popcorn. “We came to pick you up because Stefan never told you his address. Plus everyone knows where the Sheriff lives.”

Caroline opened her mouth to answer, but before she could she noticed Bonnie’s facial expression. It was as if she was studying her, and Caroline wondered what she saw when she looked that deep.

“You weren’t going to come,” Bonnie said, it was less of a question and more of a statement.

The blonde winced at the look on their faces. “I was, I just lost track of time, I was unpacking everything and I was just in the middle of homework.” Before she knew what she was doing, Caroline had backed up and let the pair into her house. “I’ll just clean up from my meal, then get ready to go, you two make yourselves comfortable,” Caroline called on her way the kitchen.

She was already throwing away her half eaten dinner, to remove the evidence of her poor existence. However, before she could shove her homework into her bag, along with her notebook, Bonnie and Elena were already in the room.

“Are these poems?” Bonnie questioned, holding up her notebook for Elena to inspect.

But before the pair could get a closer look, Caroline had already snatched it from them. “Oh, those are just song lyrics, I have a bad habit of doodling them when I’m bored,” her forced laugh followed her practiced spiel. “Anyway, just let me get changed and then we can go.”

“What you’re wearing should be okay, but I would grab a blanket and a hoodie, the boarding house is freezing,” Elena whined.

Caroline nodded her head and quickly ran up to her room, to grab the required items, throw on some makeup and fix her hair. After all, if she was forcing herself to be normal, she should at least appear as such.

Little did she know that downstairs, Bonnie and Elena had taken out her notebook and were gazing at the math homework that she had done that day. Although, more accurately they were whispering about two lines of lyrics scribbled in the corner. 

“My only friend was the man in the moon, and even sometimes he would go away too,” Bonnie recited, after they had stowed away the book again. “Wow.”

“Wow what?” Caroline asked from behind them, making the pair turn.

“Wow that was fast,” Elena replied. “I would’ve taken much longer.

Within minutes the three girls were in Elena’s small car and heading towards the boarding house. Music could be heard pounding from the vehicle, as Bonnie and Elena belted out Taylor Swift from the front seats.

Caroline found herself grinning at their antics, as she peered at them from the backseat. She didn’t sing, but they didn’t ask why and Caroline never offered a reason. Instead she laughed and danced along with them, all the way to the boarding house.

Her ocean eyes, gazed at the large building, with her mouth gaping open. Of course she had been in places as big as this, but never when a friend of hers actually lived their.

“Okay, come on, I bet your boyfriend already demanded that we watch a superhero movie,” Bonnie joked, as she clambered out of the car.

Caroline could hear Elena mumble a reply, but she was too busy scrambling out of the vehicle to notice. She kept her eyes fixed on the tall building that cast a shadow across the lawn.

“There you girls are,” called a smooth voice from the front door.

A smile appeared on Caroline’s face against her control. There Stefan stood, in a simple white t-shirt and jeans. He looked relaxed and content, as the sun from the doorway framed his muscular body, that was glancing her way.

When blue caught green, Caroline’s eyes immediately shot to the ground, staring at her feet on the way up to the porch. She couldn’t feel that way and she wouldn’t. He was too good for her and he always would be.

“Hey,” Stefan greeted, making her jump slightly.

Before Caroline realized what she was doing, her eyes left the ground to gaze into forest green ones. Without her permission, she gasped at the look in his eyes, not being able to break the stare, even if she wanted to.

“Hey,” she whispered back, breathlessly.

The contest seemed to continue, and yet again it seemed that Stefan had the power to silence her brain. The usual voices in the back of her head, quieted down to a soft murmur, and for a second even her memories seemed to disappear. Harsh words sunk into the beating of her heart, while usual nightmares cleared away.

She could count his eyelashes if she wanted to.

“Hey you two coming in?” Damon called, from the kitchen and just like that, the magic was gone.

Caroline tore her eyes away before staring resolutely at the floor, not trusting herself to look at Stefan again. Quickly she walked over to the kitchen, where the three teenagers were moving around the kitchen with practiced ease. She watched as snacks were poured into bowls, popcorn was popped and soda bottles were opened.

Once again she was an outsider, standing awkwardly at the door.

“Hey Caroline, do you want to pick the move?” Elena asked.

“Why does Barbie get to pick?” Damon whined, opening up the gummy worms.

Caroline knew Stefan was there before he even made his appearance. It was the way that her body seemed to calm and relax, while her heartbeat became louder. The scent that filled the air and the warmth next to her, meant that he was right beside her.

She didn’t even have to turn her head.

“Because she’s never experienced a Salvatore-Gilbert-Bennet, and now Forbes, movie night,” Stefan said, staring pointedly at his brother. Then his eyes turned to Caroline, as he gestured to the large cupboard underneath the television. “The movie cupboard is right over there, if you want to go and pick one.”

Caroline just nodded before turning towards the direction that Stefan gestured. She suddenly found herself wondering when Stefan started effecting her so much. After all, before today she had always been aware of him, but he had never been so intoxicating.

Slowly she kneeled onto the carpet and began to slowly brush her finger along the edge of the movie covers. Their collection was extensive and alphabetized, meaning that Caroline had to read through the titles multiple times, stopping randomly at covers that looked interesting.

It was only when she pulled out a movie with two people on it, that she realized why Stefan had such an effect on her. He had made her relax and open up more than anyone had since she was a young girl. It had been so effortless with him, and his words had resonated within her.

_I promise you, I will not let anything happen to you._

“Ghost?” Elena asked, making Caroline jump slightly. Turning around she realized that everyone had already come into the room and were looking at the DVD that she held in her hand.

“Ugh no, not that movie,” Damon groaned.

Bonnie smacked his shoulder and rolled her eyes, as Stefan let out a small grin. Caroline just looked down curiously at what she held in her hand. “I’ve never seen it.”

Well too be honest, she hadn’t seen most movies, except for the classic Disney ones and that was when she was young enough to not understand the innuendos.

“How haven’t you seen it? It’s a classic,” Bonnie said, as Elena grabbed the box from Caroline. 

The blonde watched while the group of them settled into various positions. Damon was slouched against the corner of the couch, with Elena wrapped underneath his arm, and a bowl of popcorn on his lap. Bonnie was in one of the arm chairs, with her legs over one arm and her head leaning on the other, as well as a bag of chips beside her. Stefan meanwhile, was sitting on the floor, his legs outstretched, his back leaning against the couch, and his hands rooted in a package of gummy worms.

Caroline, hesitated for a slight second before walking, carefully, towards the remaining arm chair. Getting no negative reactions, she put her feet on it first, before sitting down and making herself into a small ball. Then, delicately, she placed a blanket over herself, so that it covered all the necessary areas.

It was only when she was completely settled that she looked up, seeing Stefan staring at her with laughter in his eyes. “What?” she asked, but he just shook his head and turned back to the screen.

Once the menu came up, Elena quickly pressed play and everyone became fixated on the movie. Every so often, they would rotate the snacks, so that everyone got a bit of everything and no one was without something for too long.

At first everything was fine, and Caroline allowed herself to watch two people in love. What normally would have caused her heart to ache, actually became almost fun to watch. 

A grin appeared on her face at the thought. Maybe she was getting better after all.

But then it happened, so fast and yet so slow at the same time. The two characters, Sam and Molly, began walking down an ally and Caroline already wanted to turn it off. But it was like a car accident, she just couldn’t look away.

Within seconds, Sam turned around to face a large man, who was holding a gun up to his face. As Sam tried to give the man his wallet, in order, to avoid conflict, the man grabbed his shirt collar. Before Molly could try to stop him, she was struck in the face and pushed away.

Without realizing it, Caroline’s legs had moved off the couch, and her body rested on the edge of her seat. Her eyes never drifted from the screen, as her hand raised up her sleeve, underneath the blanket, and started to roughly pinch the skin.

She could picture it, the gun, the feel of it in her hand. And her mother, she was screaming.

On the screen Sam and the man were fighting for a hold on the gun, while Molly was yelling for help. 

But struggling wouldn’t end it, that she knew.

Suddenly, Sam was pressed against the wall, the gun to his face, as he still fought.

Caroline could feel the plaster scratching against her back, as another bruise formed, to join her black and purple back. She could still feel the hands around her throat.

A gunshot came from the screen and she was running to the bathroom before it stopped echoing.

It was like she was back their. She was crying and so was her mother, while her hands shook uncontrollably. The blast was still replaying in her ears. Blood was spreading over the ground.

After checking the fifth door, she finally found a bathroom and quickly began washing her hands at a furious rate. She had abandoned the pinching before rushing out of the room, and she hardly noticed the indent on her arm. 

Scrubbing her hands harshly together, she added more soap and turned up the heat. Steam poured out of the sink, but she didn’t care, she had to get the blood off of her hands, there could be no evidence.

But then the water was gone, and her red hands weren’t wet anymore. She looked up at green eyes, that looked more scared than she’d ever seen them.

“No! Don’t turn it off, I need to get the blood off,” she yelled, not caring about who heard.

“Caroline, stop you’re hurting yourself,” Stefan shouted back.

But she was past the point of no return, completely unaware of where she was. She was practically in hysterics.

Meaning that she lunged for the tap, however before she reached it, a pair of arms wrapped around her and dragged her back. She yelled and kicked and scratched, but Stefan held on with a tight grip.

“You’re okay.”

“Let me go!”

“Breathe Caroline.”

“Go away!”

“I won’t let anything happen to you. I won’t let anything happen to you,” Stefan repeated, his words soothing compared to her shrieks.

As if it triggered something within her, Caroline soon became limp, while tears poured down her face. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” she cried.

“Shh, don’t be,” Stefan responded, easily turning her so she could cry into his chest. “I know that you were transported somewhere right now, and you don’t have to talk. But I will be here for you when you’re ready, I promise.”

“We all will,” Caroline heard behind her.

With glossy eyes, she turned, her face still on Stefan’s chest, to see that the other three were standing at the door. Before she could speak, they came in, and with her nod they all encompassed her in a hug.

She knew that they deserved the truth, they all did, especially Stefan. But she still wasn’t ready. However, when she was, she knew that they would be there, no matter what. And even just the thought made her tears slow down. 

After all, perhaps the stars could really help the moon light up the sky, as long as the moon would let them.

* * *

_And ask for the things you lack in heart_

_And you can begin a clean new start_

_Oh to be the purest of pure in his arms_

_Yeah he, he will shield you from all harm_

_I tried my best alone but it got me nowhere and I can't do it on my own_

_I tried my best alone but it got me nowhere and I can't do it on my own_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!
> 
> First of all, I'm sorry for not updating very quickly, unfortunately real life got in the way. However, this is the longest chapter, so it's a little apology :)
> 
> The movie Ghost that is mentioned is truly a masterpiece and it's sad but cute. Also, this chapter is based off of the song called Wonder-Dummied by Brooke Waggoner.
> 
> Oh also, I moved all of the songs for chapters and the song that the fic is named after onto a youtube playlist. Songs for chapters will be released early, so if you want a little teaser, keep checking there! The link is below.
> 
> Don't forget to comment!  
> ~Lizzie
> 
> Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jcdtdu7m6_yDVmgTmBFjRR8


	5. But God I Want To Feel Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Cailyn: Yay I'm glad that you're enjoying it! Haha, I'll do my best to get updates out quicker than this one :P

_When will I feel this_

_As vivid as it truly is,_

_Fall in love in a single touch,_

_And fall apart when it hurts too much?_

* * *

 

Laughter echoed around the boarding house, on Sunday afternoon. It seemed to resonate within the house itself, as pure joy travelled from the living room. 

"You can't be serious," Caroline giggled, clutching her stomach, while she struggled to catch her breath. 

"I am, Romeo was a douche," Stefan chuckled, actually falling on his back, his spine no longer having the strength to support his shaking body. 

There were papers littering the floor, textbooks laying open, and two laptops shining out a dull light. The pair of them were laying around lazily, taking a well deserved break after slaving on their project for history. Stefan was flopped on the floor, while Caroline was resting on the couch, she couldn’t remember a time when she had been more relaxed. 

It wasn't a feeling she was used to, but she liked it. 

"It's the greatest love story of all time," Caroline argued. 

“No it’s not!" Stefan, responded. "In reality it's about two horny teenagers, and a guy who whines all the time." 

The blonde just rolled her eyes, letting out a sigh. She felt so content in her large sweater and black leggings. Her hair would've been down and washed if she would've had warning that this was going to happen. But after the movie night, the gang agreed to play monopoly instead of finishing the movie, and Elena had driven Caroline home. Yesterday was spent studying, and today she woke up to a honk of a horn, with Stefan outside her window. So needless to say, her hair had been thrown into a hasty ponytail, but it wasn't like they were going anywhere. 

"Let's go somewhere," Stefan suddenly announced. 

Caroline sat up, not as relaxed anymore. "What?" 

Stefan was already stood up, and pulling on his football letterman. "Yea, come on, I have somewhere to show you." 

"But it's getting dark," Caroline reasoned, as if trying to get him to stay. 

Stefan just smiled at her, before offering his hand to pull her up. Reluctantly, she took it and let him drag her out the back door. She wondered when she started trusting Stefan so much, but she was always less careful around him. 

"Don't worry, it'll just be me and you," he assured her, still not releasing her hand. 

The pair of them began to walk towards the forest, Caroline not truly realizing where they were going. It wasn't until they started crossing the threshold of the wood, that she abruptly stopped.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice dark.

Stefan’s eyebrows furrowed, as he watched her hand slip from is. “Showing you what I wanted to show you. It’s in the forest.”

“What is it?”

“If I told you that, then it wouldn’t be a surprised,” Stefan laughed, but he realized that he was the only one laughing. “Hey,” he said, moving to approach her.

But Caroline was backing away from him, away from the wood, and away from the demons that it held. There were so many memories, all pushing to the forefront of her mind.

She was being shoved against a tree, as her body was ravished in what she thought was love. She was running so fast that leaves were flying up. She was nine and hiding behind a bush, crying silent tears. She was being pushed onto the ground, her face becoming splattered with mud.

“I can’t go in there,” Caroline yelled, staring at Stefan with wild eyes.

She was attempting to pull her skirt off of a bush where it was stuck. She was being pelted with rain, her makeup smearing. She was picking up torn clothes, laughter escaping her mouth. She was combing back curly hair with shaky hands, attempting to look loving.

“Woah, woah, what’s wrong?” Stefan questioned, his hands up in mock surrender.

But Caroline’s feet were still drifting back, away from the threatening trees. “There’s no escape, and they will always find you, and everything looks the same,” she muttered. She was talking to herself more than Stefan, and it wasn’t until his hand touched her shoulder that she jumped into reality.

“Breathe okay?” 

It was only then that Caroline realized that tears were flowing freely down her face, and she was gasping for air. She had been so deep in memories, that she didn’t even realize that she was on the brink of a panic attack.

“Look, you can rant the whole time to keep your mind off of it,” Stefan reasoned. “In fact, you can lead the way, and I’ll give you directions.” 

She was shaking her head before he even finished speaking. Her past was just too haunted.

“It’s not that far and you’ll love it,” Stefan said, before reaching forward and hesitantly taking her hand. “You’ll be in control the whole time.”

Before she even realized what she was doing, Caroline tightened her hand and began striding towards the forest. She knew that the real reason of why she was scared was because within her past, there were so many moments where she had no power. No control. But with Stefan, she always felt bigger than her demons, and even him sometimes.

Her mouth opened of its own accord, and informed Stefan of random facts that weren’t important to anyone. They stretched from how old she was when she learned how to ride a bike, to the fact that she liked extra pickles on her burgers.

Caroline doubted that he was listening, hell she wasn’t really listening to herself. Nevertheless, the important thing was that she was distracted, and before long, she did feel the tension start to drift away. She wasn’t quite sure if it was the warmth of Stefan’s palm, or the comfort of being in control for the first time in what felt like forever.

“Just turn right up here,” Stefan directed, slightly interrupting her story about cutting her knee when she was a child.

Caroline, not really paying attention, turned around a tree and gasped. Her feet stopped, as her eyes spotted her surprise. In the middle of a large clearing, sat a small and overgrown greenhouse. To the right of it was a skinny creak that continued across the clearing, and headed deeper into the forest.

“You have this, like five minutes from your house?!” Caroline shrieked, her eyes shooting to Stefan’s.

The smile that rested on his face, came naturally once he spotted her beam. “Yea, I discovered it when I was younger.”

He was going to continue with his explanation, but the blonde was already gone. For the first time since she was five years old, she acted like a child. Her small feet moved faster than ever before, as she scurried around the area. There were a few large trees on one side of the greenhouse, but the rest of the small space was clear apart from grass and wildflowers. 

Blonde hair flew around, while giggles filled the otherwise quiet air. She at first ran to the creek, where she hurriedly slipped off her flats and lunged her feet into the cool water. The blue liquid, got deeper farther on, but where she was, it reached just above the bottom of her leggings. However, Caroline didn’t care about her pants, and immediately started kicking up the water.

She was completely engrossed, until she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Are you going to see the main event?” Stefan asked, his face full of joy. 

The blonde nodded, running past him towards the green house. Upon entering it, she once again was brought to a halt at the sheer beauty. The glass house, was filled with plants of all kinds. There was a small cobblestone path, where a bench lay, but other than that, the rest was green.

“It’s like being in a fairytale,” Caroline breathed, when she felt Stefan stand beside her.

“I used to call it Neverland when I was a kid,” Stefan laughed.

Blue eyes met green, that seemed to match the surroundings. Caroline finally took in how she was feeling, realizing that the only thing she felt was happiness. Her memories that hid in the trees, were trapped there, and they couldn’t come into this area.

“Why Neverland?” she practically whispered.

Stefan shrugged, as he sat down on the bench and patted the spot next to him. Only hesitating a second, Caroline sat down next to him, leaving escaping room between them, something Stefan didn’t miss.

“My dad wasn’t the nicest man growing up,” Stefan started. “He died when I was quite young, but before he passed, Damon always protected me. When he couldn’t, I ran here,” he looked at her, noticing that she was completely focused on him. “My father used to yell at me to ‘grow up’ and ‘be a man.’ So eventually, I started finding my sanctuary here, where I would never get older.”

Caroline nodded, and they were quiet for a little while. She knew that asking for more information wouldn’t help, as she never liked it when people demanded to know more about her. So instead, she chose to share a little bit about herself.

Not because Stefan made her, but because she wanted him to know.

“When I was younger, my parents seemed to be perfect,” she began, staring resolutely at the ground. If she was looking at Stefan, she would have seen the shocked look on his face. “My mom cooked, my dad helped me with homework, and life was great,” her eyebrows furrowed. “Then one day, everything changed. They started fighting constantly, and my mom was hardly home because she worked so much. I had to feed myself, and tuck myself in, I basically raised myself.”

“How old were you?” Stefan suddenly asked.

Her teary eyes, met his saddened ones. She should’ve been angry that he asked for more information, but she wasn’t, perhaps because she was too deep in memories. Or maybe it was just because she wanted Stefan to feel better.

“I was five years old,” she muttered.

Tears were rolling down her face, and when Stefan opened his arms, she didn’t hesitate. But rather she fell into them, sobs wracking her body. It was the first time she ever properly cried about it, rather than holding it in. 

The feeling of being abandoned and unwanted.

Stefan didn’t ask for the aftermath. He didn’t ask why her father wasn't in her life anymore, and for that she was thankful. She had made massive progress that day, but going that far was too much.

“You can use this place, as your sanctuary,” Stefan whispered into her hair. His voice muffled by her locks.

She picked her head off of his shoulder, to gaze at him curiously. “Who are you Peter Pan?” she joked, making him laugh.

“I’m serious Forbes,” Stefan replied. “Use this place, it’s yours”

With a small smile, Caroline laid her head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” she said, meaning it more than he could know.

They sat like that for a while, just enjoying the other’s presence. It wasn’t until Stefan suggested that they watch the sunset, that they moved. Together they strolled back outside and sat on a large boulder by the river. 

“I love sunsets,” Stefan sighed. “What about you, sunrise or sunset?”

Caroline opened her mouth to answer, but stopped before she spoke. She could remember getting ready for school her first day, hating the sunrise. She could even remember when she first started hating them.

“It used to be sunrises, because they were hopeful. But now I kind of hate them for that reason,” Caroline answered, pulling her knees up to her chest.

“Not an optimist?” Stefan asked, surprised.

“Not anymore,” Caroline sighed.

The sky began to split into different colors. Pink, orange, red and yellow shot through the sky, before they were overcome with purple. Before long the night sky had taken over, and stars were staring down at them.

Caroline was just about to suggest that they head back, but before she could her phone vibrated. Thinking that it was her mother, she took it out, only to find that it was an unknown number.

Fear began to overcome her body, as her shaky fingers opened up the message.

Unknown Number: Hello.

She could hear him. In her mind, she could practically see her name slither put of his mouth. Hello love. Hello Caroline. Hello Sweetheart.

She was going to throw up. She would have to run away again. How had he found her?

“Oh yea I forgot to tell you that I gave Damon your number,” Stefan said.

“What?” Caroline snapped, her breath coming out in bursts.

“Yea that’s Damon, I gave him your number,” he properly looked at her face then. “Hey, are you okay?”

He hadn’t found her, it was Damon. She was still safe. She was still free.

“Caroline?” 

“Oh yea, sorry I’m fine. I just suddenly got pretty tired, think we could head back now?” she requested, distractedly. 

Stefan didn’t even respond before Caroline was getting up and sliding on her shoes. The blonde just needed to go home and think, think about how invested she was getting, and how reckless she was being.

“Thanks by the way,” Stefan said.

“For what?” Caroline asked, shock lacing her voice.

“For letting me talk, and letting me listen. It means a lot.”

All she could do was nod, while Stefan began to lead her back to the boarding house. She realized then, that she was being incredibly reckless, especially taking into account the butterflies she was experiencing.

But somehow the guy in front of her made it all worth it. That scared her more than anything.

* * *

  _Well I know, I know - the sirens sound_

_Just before the walls come down._

_Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman_

_Predicting God as best he can,_

_But God I want to feel again,_  

_Oh God I want to feel again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> Firstly, I want to thank everyone that commented, and apologize for not updating very quickly. My hope is doing weekly updates, but as you know sometimes real life gets in the way. Anyway this chapter is named after the song Atlas: Touch by Sleeping At Last. The artist is amazing, so check them out.
> 
> Also the playlist has been moved to another channel, and the link is below. Below is also my blog, so you can go and message me whenever you want.
> 
> ~Lizzie
> 
> Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jcdtdu7m6_yDVmgTmBFjRR8
> 
> Blog: http://sterolineislight.tumblr.com/


	6. Without You Things Go Hazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Karen varner: Awe thank you, I'm so happy that you're enjoying it. Yea I have many stories that I've never posted, so I don't blame you for that. If you ever do though, let me know!
> 
> @xFictionalDesiresx: Haha well thank you for saying that. Yes the song that this fic is titled after, will be a recurring theme throughout this fic.

_I watched you sleepin' quietly in my bed_

_You don't know this now but_

_There's somethings that need to be said_

_And it's all that I can hear_

_It's more than I can bear_

* * *

For the first time in years, Caroline actually woke up before her alarm. She could remember a time when she would constantly wake up before her alarm, and immediately jump out of bed.But whenever that happened she had always been excited about the day ahead, and when her phone rang beside her, she began to realize why she’d woken up early.

“Good morning,” Stefan’s voice greeted through the phone. “Ready to present our project today?”

The smile that graced Caroline’s face came so naturally that she almost couldn’t remember why it was never there. “Oh I’m so ready to stand up in front of everyone,” she replied, sarcastically.

“You will do amazing,” Stefan exclaimed, seemingly sensing the panic in her voice, “besides I’ll be there the whole time. If you run a blank, I’ll pick it right up.”

Caroline was about to respond, when she felt her phone vibrate in her hand. Quickly, she put Stefan on speaker and went to check her message, only to find that the group chat, titled ‘The Gang,’ was in full affect.

After the phone number scare last night, Caroline got everyone’s phone number from Stefan and plugged them into her contacts. By the time she got home, Damon had already created a chat with Stefan, Bonnie, Elena, Caroline, and himself. Most of the conversation had been about useless things, but it made Caroline happy that she was a part of her first group chat.

She actually felt normal.

“So do you fancy a ride to school?” Stefan asked, apparently realizing that Caroline had zoned out.

“If you don’t mind,” the blonde grinned, typing a reply to Elena, as she got out of bed.

A scoff came through the phone, and Caroline could practically see Stefan rolling his eyes. “Why would I mind having you start my day off on a good note? Besides we can grab coffee so that you can calm down before our presentation. Sound good?”

“Perfect,” Caroline replied, before hanging up and going to get in the shower.

For the rest of the morning, her phone seemed to be buzzing nonstop, and she found herself wondering how five people found time to text this early in the morning. However, it wasn’t until Elena texted something, that Caroline realized just how amazing they all were.

**Elena:** Hey are we meeting at our tree before school? It’s supposed to be sunny.

Elena was of course speaking about the lonely tree that had kept Caroline company for weeks. The mere fact that the group now called it their own, touched Caroline in a way that nothing else had before. It was like they were accepting her, and all of her problems, without even needing to be asked.

A honk came from outside, causing a smile to appear on Caroline's face, as she hurriedly slipped on her flats and reached for her bag. When she came out of her house, it was to see a grinning Stefan Salvatore sitting in his red Porsche, with Bon Jovi crooning in the background. 

He looked like a real life James Dean, but that didn’t stop Caroline from ignoring the butterflies that blossomed in her stomach.

“Hey,” she greeted, as she got into the passenger seat, throwing her bag in the backseat next to his.

“Hey,” Stefan replied, pulling away from the curb. “So I figure, coffee, then going to school, and quickly running through the project again.”

The blonde nodded absentmindedly, while trying to ignore the nerves that accompanied the thought of their presentation. She knew that it was good presentation, after all they’d ensured that yesterday with how many hours they spent on it.

No the part that made Caroline’s hands shake, was the realization that they were presenting it. Which meant that she was going to have to stand in front of everyone, and try to not throw up. All while they judged her silently, waiting for her to screw up, just so they could tear her down.

She could still hear _him_ in her head. The ridicule that accompanied his voice, when she had left the stage for the first time. The high that came from the experience quickly wore off with his cruel poisonous words.

Although, the words couldn’t compare to what came after.

“Okay, we are here, what do you want?” Stefan asked, drawing Caroline out of her revere.

“Oh umm, just a coffee please,” she said, still lost in memories. She blinked when she felt Stefan grab her hand, causing a shock across her body.

“Hey, you are going to do great today,” Stefan assured her. “Besides, I always pegged you down for someone who would have a really complicated coffee order. Do you at least want a muffin or something.”

Caroline was shaking his head before he even finished his sentence. “No just a black coffee please.”

Stefan nodded, before heading into the store, assuring Caroline that she could stay in the car. It’s not like she would’ve been great company anyway, she was too busy thinking about Stefan’s comment. It was true that she had been the girl who always got specific orders, that always included caramel and a baked good of some sort.

She was a control freak after all.

Actually, up until about a year ago, she never even tried black coffee, exclaiming that it was boring and dark. But now she knew the truth. It was easier and healthier to stay out of everyone’s way and go for a simple order. That way she didn’t take up to much time, and didn’t gain any weight, after all, she couldn’t really afford to do that.

Once Stefan returned to the car, it was a blur of Stefan singing bad Bon Jovi, and Caroline giggling into her coffee. But before long they were walking through the doors, with Stefan oblivious to the stares, and Caroline too conscious of them.

She could swear that the beady eyes looked even more contempt when they looked her way. But whether they were or not, it was hard to be sad when she had Stefan laughing at some stupid joke next to her. 

Together they headed straight for the tree in the back, and as they got closer the stares seemed to become kinder, until almost no one was looking at them. It made the blonde wonder if they were really turning away, or if Stefan just had a bigger effect on her than she thought.

“Morning!” Elena called from underneath the tree, her math book perched on her crossed legs.

Beside her, Damon was lounging with his legs outstretched. Caroline could see a math book, similar to Elena’s, peaking out of his bag, but she doubted that he’d even looked at it.

“Good morning,” Stefan answered, sitting down against the tree. “Catching up on some math homework?”

“Well I am,” Elena answered, sending a small glare to Damon.

Caroline couldn’t help but giggle when Damon responded with a shrug. “Hey it’s not my fault you kept getting distracted. Not that I was complaining.”

The innuendo wasn’t missed by Elena, who proceeded to attack her boyfriend with her textbook. Stefan and Caroline were laughing at them, until Caroline realized that they were missing a member of their group.

“Hey, where’s Bonnie?”

“Slept in _again_ ,” Stefan responded, “I swear that, that girl is allergic to mornings.”

Bonnie as it turned out had slept in, and she managed to appear two minutes before the bell rang. The group was still mocking her, as the loud chime echoed around the grounds, and Caroline’s laugh immediately came to a halt.

Despite Stefan telling her that they would have extra time to look over their project before presenting, Caroline was still terrified. She would have to talk in front of a group of students, that she was 99% sure hated her.

As it turned out, Stefan was right, and upon entering Mr. Saltzman’s class, they were given ten minutes to double check that their project was perfect. Stefan immediately, pulled out his laptop and opened up their powerpoint, speaking to her in an animated voice.

But Caroline couldn’t hear him.

All she could hear was that Tyler kid from her first day joking about her to his friends. The group of them were all miming crying and running out of the room, and poor Caroline could already feel her palms shaking.

_“Do you really think they actually liked your singing?”_

“I’ll be impressed if she makes it past the first slide,” Tyler practically yelled.

_“They were all just laughing at you.”_

“We should tell the first three rows that their the ‘vomit splash zone’” a cheerleader jeered.

_“You mean nothing.”_

“Hey!” Stefan yelled from beside her, making her jump. When she turned to him, it was to find him facing the group that were joking about her. He quickly stood up and stalked towards them. “You leave her alone. She will do great, and you’re all just mad that we will get an A and you’ll fail.”

But to Stefan surprise the group just started to laugh, making his eyebrows furrow. 

“Hard to get an A when you’re down a partner,” Tyler chuckled, mockingly.

Stefan whirled around, only to find that Caroline’s seat was empty. His eyes closed in sadness, that she was so scared, and he made to run to the door before Mr. Saltzman stopped him.

“Mr. Salvatore, come here for a second,” he commanded. Stefan in defeat headed over to his teachers desk, only to be shocked by what he said. “You have thirty minutes to get Miss Forbes back in here, you two can present last. But if you don’t present I’ll be forced to just give you a C, because this project was all about presenting.”

Stefan was nodding and turning around before he even finished his sentence. He only stopped at the door when he heard his name being called yet again.

“Look after her,” his teacher called, and Stefan found himself taking those words to heart, before practically running out of the room.

Meanwhile, Caroline had managed to lock herself inside of a bathroom stall, as she gasped desperately for air. Her hand was going wild on her wrist, as a small indent began to appear underneath the pressure of the rubber band. The plastic of the band was straining under the pressure whenever she snapped it, but she had no choice.

She just needed the pressure to be gone.

She hated disappointing Stefan by not doing the presentation, but it was sort of his own fault. After all, who in their right mind would want to partner with her? A girl who has millions of issues and can’t even present in front of a small group of people, without having flashbacks.

She was a burden that Stefan didn’t need to bare.

“Caroline,” she heard from the other side of the door, making her jump, and pull the rubber band even quicker. “Caroline open the door.”

She was shaking her head, as Elena’s voice echoed around the room.

“Caroline please,” that was Bonnie, who was speaking in a kinder and less desperate voice.

“I can’t,” came Caroline’s hoarse voice.

Her throat was dry from the amount of tears that she’d released and she was exhausted. Having a panic attack this early had completely drained her, and the thought of anyone seeing her in this position scared her. Even though Stefan already had.

“Yes you can Caroline,” Elena argued, “we are right here, let us help you.”

“We believe in you, we know you can do this,” Bonnie said. “If we didn’t believe in you, we wouldn't be here.”

The rubber band began slowing, as her breath began to even out. She could feel their fierce loyalty from inside the stall.

“Look Stefan and Damon are right outside the door,” Bonnie informed her.

“We are all here, because we are on your side, always.” Elena vowed.

Without realizing what she was doing, Caroline was turning the lock and slowly opening the door. Upon opening it, she began understanding why she did, for on the other side were two friends that were missing classes just to calm her down.

With another sob, Caroline practically fell into the arms of the two brunettes who grasped her tightly. Together they whispered sweetly into her ear, all while stroking her hair.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” Caroline confessed, as if pleading with them to forgive her.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything,” Bonnie replied, sweetly.

“But I do,” Caroline said, snuggling closer to them. “I keep letting them affect me, and I don’t know how to stop it.”

“They are just a bunch of jocks, that are bullies, don’t listen to them,” Elena told her.

“I’m not just talking about them,” Caroline confessed, but before the others could respond, Stefan and Damon came rushing in.

“Look I hate to cut this short, but Barbie has five minutes to get back to class,” Damon announced.

Caroline’s blue eyes went wide at the thought, immediately retracting from the two girls and looking at the group. Out of habit, she began to gnaw on her bottom lip.

“Caroline, you don’t have to present if you don’t have to,” Stefan told her.

But she was shaking her head. “Yes I do. Not only for you, but for me too.”

The look of pride in Stefan’s seemed to make it all worth it. But caroline didn’t catch the looks that Bonnie and Elena sent each other, both suddenly realizing just how deep Caroline’s demons were.

“And thank you for coming,” Caroline suddenly said. “I don’t know how all of you guys knew to come, but I really appreciate it.”

“It’s the SOS text,” Damon explained. “Every single time one of us needs everyone, we text SOS and then a location.”

“But I didn’t-“ Caroline started.

“You didn’t, but Stefan did,” Elena replied, making Caroline give the sweetest smile, before pulling her partner into a hug. A hug that was all Stefan, and for some reason made her heart race.

“Okay enough with the mushy stuff, you have a presentation to rock!” Damon announced, causing everyone to cheer.

Caroline giggled, as the gang escorted her back to class, and left her and Stefan at the door. “Ready?” he asked, Caroline just nodded.

So together they entered the room, meeting the many stares head on. Stefan looked at his teacher, who nodded, causing the young Salvatore to start setting up their presentation.

When it was all done, he glanced at Caroline, who seemed to have folded in on herself, under the pressure of all of the stares. Without thinking he went over to her, and gripped her shoulders. “Pretend it’s just you and me, you can do it.”

The blonde nodded, before Stefan headed to the other side of the screen. “I am Caroline Forbes, with Stefan Salvatore, and we are presenting ‘The Tragedy of Congo,’” she announced, confidently.

Stefan went onto the next slide before talking. “In 1885 a man named King Leopold took over the ownership of a land in Africa named Congo. This man was in possession of every area that the Congo river fed out to, which also included the people.”

Again Stefan clicked to the next slide, which had pictures of rubber, and money. “King Leopold told Belgium that he wanted to do good, but really he just wanted to get rich,” Caroline explained. “He used the indigenous people as slaves to harvest rubber that was a precious commodity back then.”

The next slide came up, as Stefan began to talk. “His ruling was fierce, and if people didn’t agree with him or do their job, they lost limbs. They are still finding hands to this day, and the people who lost limbs, still had to work.”

Caroline opened her mouth to talk, when she saw the group chuckling away, all while whispering. She tried to ignore it, but it was all she could hear, and without meaning to, her hands began to shake.

“Miss Forbes?” Mr. Saltzman asked.

But she was already backing up, that is until her eyes were drawn to Stefan. She could feel it, she could feel her demons already overpowering her. The darkness was coming, but she couldn’t let it, she had to finish this for Stefan.

But instead of using the cue cards, she began speaking from memory.

“You may be wondering how this tragedy could happen,” Caroline spoke, staring straight at Tyler. “How could this whole civilization break to this ruler, well it’s actually quite simple. King Leopold trapped them. The men would go out and work, while the women and children were held captive. If the men didn’t work, then the women and children would die,” she wasn’t sure if she was talking about Congo, or just trying to get the people to understand her. “No one had time to hunt, and so majority of people died from starvation or malnourishment. The whole civilization collapsed, and we still don’t talk about it.

“When we speak of genocide, we speak of Hitler, and while that was important, so is this! Millions of people died, and there’s no one to remember them, how is that fair? How is one mass killing more important than another? To be completely controlled, that’s never fun, and these people experienced it for years,” Caroline explained, passion leaking into her voice.

Stefan, who had been switching slides based on Caroline topic, finally spoke up. “Also, when it was discovered what King Leopold was doing, Belgium immediately pulled him out. But then they continued what he did for another few years.”

Caroline was nodding before he even finished speaking. “Exactly, giving them hope, and then doing the exact same thing again. And when Belgium finally stopped and the people were freed, they were a shadow of what they once were. How do you come back from that?”

The bell rang once Caroline was done speaking, but before everyone grabbed their stuff, the pair of them were given a round of applause. Tyler’s groups just rolled their eyes before leaving the class, but everyone else was clapping wildly, including Mr. Saltzman.

A smile graced Caroline’s face, as everyone began leaving the class and Stefan was shutting down their presentation. Once he was down he walked over to the giggling blonde.

“We did it,” she laughed.

“No, you did it,” Stefan answered, pulling her into his arms for a hug. He could feel her laughter hitting his chest, as he placed a loving kiss on her forehead. The burn that the kiss caused, made Caroline sigh.

“Hey,” Mr. Saltzman said. “I’m not really supposed to tell you this, but you two got the highest mark in the class,” he handed them a piece of paper with some notes on it. “A+ congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Caroline replied, before grinning up at Stefan.

“Okay come on smiley, you have English class to get to,” Stefan chuckled, grabbing her hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The pair of them walked down the hallways, books in hand, and for the first time in forever, Caroline felt invincible.

“So will I be seeing you at lunch?” Caroline asked, when they reached the door to the English classroom.

“Not until the end of lunch, but I will be there.”

Caroline was about to ask why he wasn’t going to be there the whole time, when the warning bell rang, and Stefan had to practically run to his next class. The blonde was still smiling when she entered English, and it was as if she was untouchable.

The whole class went by quite quickly, and Caroline found herself actually looking forward to lunch, she wanted to tell everyone about what happened in history, because she was so proud of herself. It wasn’t until the bell rang, that Caroline realized that this was the first time in a long time that she actually had friends to talk to.

It was a nice feeling.

Although when she reached the tree, it was to discover that her only company was Bonnie and Elena. Immediately, they began questioning her about the presentation, and they squealed like happy parents when she held up her A+.

“Ugh that’s amazing Care, good job!” Elena, screamed for the third time.

A blush appeared on Caroline’s face, at the thought of the nickname, and how proud they were of her. “You sound like Stefan.”

“What is going on between the two of you?” Bonnie asked. 

Caroline’s eyes immediately became misty, and the butterflies that appeared in her stomach was not unexpected. 

“Oh my gosh,” Elena gasped. “You like him.”

“What?” Caroline shrieked. “Me like Stefan? No way.”

It was impossible. Sure the last crush she had was when she was fifteen, but she would’ve realized. Besides Stefan was just helping her, the butterflies meant nothing.

“I sure hope you’re right,” Bonnie sighed, sadly.

“Why?” Caroline asked.

The two brunettes gave each other looks, before Elena began to speak, “Well-“  


“We’re back bitches!” Damon yelled, coming around the corner towards the group.

Caroline began to smile, until she saw what followed him. It was Stefan, with a girl glued to his side. She was stunning, with golden skin and cat like eyes, with a permanent grin on her face. Caroline could hardly feel Damon sit down next to her, as the feeling of happiness began to leek out of her body.

“Caroline this is Katherine,” Stefan announced proudly. “She’s my girlfriend.

The burn that hit Caroline when they kissed didn’t surprise her in the slightest.

* * *

  _What if I fall and hurt myself_

_Would you know how to fix me?_

_What if I went and lost myself_

_Would you know where to find me?_

_If I forgot who I am_

_Would you please remind me?_

_Oh, cause without you things go hazy_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> This chapter was titled after the song Hazy by Rosi Golan, and it's an amazing song. For the record, when I pick songs, it's normally for the most important event in the chapter, or at least the part that I see as most important. So in this chapter I pictured it as background music for the bathroom scene, but that's just me. Also, I finally got the urls to work, whenever it says dot, it's actually just a period because this website hates me.
> 
> So yes, that was the big reveal, Stefan actually has a girlfriend. But where has she been? And how will Caroline deal with it, especially since she swears that she doesn't like him.
> 
> Find out next time, which will hopefully be a lot sooner than this one was!  
> ~Lizzie
> 
> Playlist: youtube DOT com/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jcdtdu7m6_yDVmgTmBFjRR8  
> Blog: sterolineislight DOT tumblr DOT com


	7. Things I'll Never Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Mandy: Oh your English was great, don't even worrying. Yes Stefan does have a girlfriend, as for Damon being mad, I kind of doubt that since he's like head over heals for Elena. But as for Stefan... Well you'll just have to see ;)

_It don't do me any good_

_It's just a waste of time_

_What use is it to you_

_What's on my mind_

_If it ain't coming out_

_We're not going anywhere_

_So why can't I just tell you that I care_

* * *

 

By the end of the day, Caroline was completely exhausted. The presentation had seemed to take everything out of her, and ever since lunch she just seemed to be more on edge.

But that had nothing to do with Stefan's girlfriend, nothing at all.

Speaking of Katherine, it wasn't until halfway through math that Caroline realized just how much that girl texted. Considering that she was only just added to the group chat, most of the texts were from her, and her teacher kept glaring at Caroline while her phone vibrated away. Plus, the weekly movie night had now been moved to that night because Katherine wanted to catch up.

Which was fine with Caroline, but now she was tired and standing like an idiot by the flagpole, while the last stragglers wandered to their cars. When they had movie night last week, Stefan had told her that he would just drive her home from school, and since he drove her to school this morning, Caroline just kind of expected that he would be there. Only he wasn't.

She kept trying to tell herself not to call him, but after thirty minutes, she finally decided to give him a call. Unlocking her phone, she closed up the group chat, clicked on her contacts, and pressed his grinning face. The smile that came to her face at that picture somehow made her feel lighter despite the situation she was in. After all, his girlfriend was back home and he probably just got distracted.

The phone rang twice before a voice rang through the speaker that definitely didn't belong to him. "Stefan's phone."

The smile on Caroline's face disappeared in an instant. "Katherine, hey. Umm, is Stefan there?"

"He's just in the shower, what's up?"

The blonde swallowed down the lump in her throat, suddenly feeling smaller. "He just agreed to drive me home and-"

"Oh," Katherine awed, completely cutting Caroline off. "I'm sorry, I made him skip last period so that we could go back to the boarding house. Let's just say we had a lot to catch up on," she practically purred.

Caroline's vision became blurry, as her hands shook involuntarily. She felt like screaming and crying at the same time, all the while feeling bile rise in her throat.

"Uh," Caroline muttered lamely. "So sho- should I just meet all of you there, or-"

But she was cut off yet again. "Why don't you call someone else little girl, Stefan is busy."

Before Caroline could say anything else the line went dead, and she was left leaning against the flag pole, trying to hold back the tears. Slowly, she bent at the knees and slid down, until she was sat against the metal, with her knees drawn up to her chest.

Maybe Stefan was too busy for her, besides he had a girlfriend and she was just some girl that he picked up and tried to help fix. She knew that Stefan pitied her, but a small part of her had hoped that it was genuine.

That maybe he actually liked her.

She scoffed at that impossible thought. In the span of a week Stefan, Elena, Bonnie, and Damon had managed to make her feel normal, and that was dangerous. As proven by the naive thought that Stefan could feel for her what she felt-

No. No she didn't feel anything. One because it always ended up bad for her, and two because there was no point.

She could still hear him, his ocean blue eyes, like her own, almost black as he stalked towards her. His straight brown hair matted down with dirt, alcohol and blood.

_"Look at you. You ungrateful, unlovable, mess. No one will ever choose you."_

"Caroline," a voice called, making Caroline look up. Elena was closing her car door, as she walked over to the blonde, who was huddled up in a pathetic ball. "What are you still doing here?"

"Oh, um," Caroline muttered, quickly wiping off the few tears that had escaped, hoping the other girl didn't see. "Stefan was supposed to drive me home, but," she trailed off.

"But my cousin convinced him to skip," Elena finished for her, causing Caroline to nod. "Well come on, I'll drive you over to the boarding house," she said, holding out her arm for her friend to take.

Caroline grasped onto her hand, throwing her bag over her shoulder, following Elena to her car. "What are you still doing her?" she asked, curiously.

"I had to retake a test for math, turns out numbers aren't really my thing."

The two girls giggled, while climbing into the car and pulling out of the parking lot. Predictably, they weren't in the car for three minutes before Elena was turning on the radio and belting the song that came on. Caroline just giggled, as Elena sung the wrong lyrics awfully on purpose. It wasn't until they stopped in front of the boarding house that Caroline realized she felt better already.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?" Elena asked, while taking off her seatbelt.

The tension drew back into Caroline, who bit her lip nervously, absolutely dreading the question. "Um, sure I guess." It was going to be something about her past, it had to be.

"Why don't you ever sing?"

"What?" Caroline practically shrieked, a mixture of relief and confusion flooding her body.

The brunette smiled sweetly at her friends antics before replying. "I mean, Bonnie and I sing all the time in the car, so why don't you?"

Caroline pursed her lips, searching for an answer before deciding to tell as much of the truth as she felt comfortable sharing. "Well I used to sing all the time. And then I guess I lost interest because I was never great at it. After a while I just kind of stopped."

Elena nodded her head absentmindedly before exiting the car, Caroline following her after pulling her bag onto her shoulder. She was just composing a text to her mother explaining where she was, before she felt someone hugging her from the side.

"Thanks," Elena said, releasing Caroline, upon realizing that she had tensed with the sensation of the hug.

"For what?" Caroline replied, thankful that Elena knew her enough to let go. She could do hugs now, as long as she had some warning, and it was someone that she knew.

"For sharing. I know that it's hard, but I appreciate it."

The smile that spread over Caroline's face could have lit up a while room, and the grin that Elena gave back was natural. For when the blonde smiled it was extremely infectious, and absolutely no one could stop themselves for smiling in her presence.

Caroline wished that she could tell Elena how much she meant to her, but she'd like to think that she already knew. After all, someone would have to be blind to not see how thankful she was to have Elena and the rest of the gang.

Speaking of the gang, when the two girls opened up the door, it was to a cheer from the other members of their groups. The other three were sprawled on the couches, with Katherine no where to be found.

Caroline was definitely not happy about that, nope not one bit.

"Hey y'all," Elena called, while the blonde put down her bag next to the coats.

She glanced up and beamed, when she saw Damon immediately pull his girlfriend into a kiss, they were so in love it was kind of disgusting. In fact, she was just about to comment on it when a mess of brunette curls bounded from the kitchen, straight into her boyfriends lap.

"Car- hmf" Stefan started, stopping when his girlfriend fell onto him.

Caroline's blue eyes immediately disconnected from the pair, choosing instead to look at Bonnie, who was staring back at her. "Wanna pick the movie Care?" she asked, with almost a look of pity in her eyes.

A quick glance around the room proved to Caroline that Damon and Elena wore a smilier look, making the blonde's insides squirm with discomfort. "Um, sure," she practically whispered, moving over towards the movie cabinet.

She decided to skip the first shelf this time, as that was where Ghost had came from and she really didn't want a repeat of that. Especially when they had another person with them.

It wasn't until she reached a green box on the bottom shelf that she actually smiled again. Turning back around with a grin on her face, she showed it to everyone. Elena, Damon and Bonnie cheered and smiled at the happy look on the blonde's face. However, it disappeared quite quickly.

"Shrek, really?" Katherine asked, contempt lining her voice. "There's no way I'm watching a kids movie."

"Oh come on Kat," Stefan said. "Caroline loves the movie, and it's just for one night."

The butterflies that appeared in Caroline's stomach at Stefan taking her side, made a small smile appear on her face.

"But I just got back after being away for three weeks!" Katherine whined. "Besides it's my first movie night back, so I should pick the movie."

The elder Salvatore whispered something to his girlfriend, which got him slapped, but Caroline knew the look on Stefan's face. It was the look that he wore on Sunday when she asked if they could have ice cream for lunch. It was the look that came right before he caved in to someone that he cared a lot about.

The blonde wasn't sure if she just didn't want to hear him say it, but something made her speak up. "You know what? You're right Katherine, you pick the movie, I'll go get the drinks."

Ignoring the shocked looks from everyone else, Caroline pushed Shrek back into the cupboard, and headed towards the kitchen. She was just pulling out the bottles, and about to grab the cups, when two arms encircled her from behind.

Her whole body froze, and she could feel herself shut down, until she caught the scent that surrounded her. It was Stefan, tall, safe, charming, best friend Stefan. Suddenly everything was right in the world, as she put the bottles on the counter before sinking back into his chest.

"Sorry I scared you," he whispered into her ear. "Also sorry that I left you at school, and sorry that you didn't pick the movie, and sorry about Katherine, and-"

"Stefan," Caroline interrupted, turning around and sliding her arms around his neck. "Jeez you ramble so much, that you're beginning to sound like me," she joked, making them both chuckle. "But seriously, it's fine. I mean she's your girlfriend and she just got back from wherever she was, I get that you missed her. Besides, I'm just your friend, if you forget-"

"No," Stefan cut in, sharply. "First of all, you're my best friend," he corrected. Simultaneously making her heart soar with his words and her body shiver because his fingers were tracing circles on her sides. "Secondly, I won't forget about you, I just blanked today and I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Caroline answered, staring into the forest green eyes that she'd missed so much. So much that the almost didn't mind the fact that her heart sped up, and that her eyes seemed to be drawn to his lips.

"Hey where are our drinks?" Damon called from the lounge, making the pair laugh, before grabbing everything and moving towards everyone.

Caroline immediately headed towards the arm chair, but halted when Stefan grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the couch. She looked at him with a confused look, but he was smiling, which made her smile in return. With more confident movements she moved and sat at the side of the couch, while Stefan sat beside her.

Katherine was still putting the DVD in, but upon turning around, Caroline didn't miss her glare. Although, she was pretty sure that, that was just her imagination, after all Katherine had no reason to hate her. In fact, she simply went to sit on the other side of Stefan, sighing when he put his arm around her.

Caroline looked away, as if the image burned her, but the picture on the TV didn't help her either. They were watching The Notebook, the most romantic of romance movies, something that Caroline really didn't want to think about. She was surprised that Damon didn't say anything, although he probably already did before she got there.

"Remember when we created the scene from this Stefan?" Katherine whispered, just loud enough so that Caroline could hear.

"Mm hmm," he replied. "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," and with that he kissed her.

It was a simple kiss really, not lasting very long. But it was the way that Katherine moaned, gripping his hair, almost as hard as Caroline was gripping her blanket. She suddenly wasn't very hungry anymore, as she felt the sudden need to be as small and petite as Katherine.

It was stupid really, because Stefan was Katherine's, and Caroline didn't even like him. She was acting like a little girl. _Stupid, girly, little Caroline._

The movie was playing she realized, but she could hardly see it, as she kept replaying the kiss between the couple beside her. She wondered how many cute things Katherine had purred in the past five minutes. How many kisses they had shared. How many touches they were sneaking.

Suddenly, she couldn't breathe, and Caroline could feel the jealousy rising within her. After all, that's what this was, stupid, pointless jealousy. She felt disgusting, as if she was tainting a moment between the couple, and the people around her. Like her insecurities and pointless crush were ruining the night for everyone.

"I have to go to the bathroom," she muttered before pulling her blanket around her, and going towards the bathroom closest to the front door. However, looking behind her, she saw that everyone was fixated on the movie, so quickly she grabbed her shoes, and slipped out the front door.

As soon as she was outside, she pulled on her sneakers, and silently thanked herself for bringing the blanket outside with her. Even though, she was wearing her usual jeans and long sleeved shirt, the cool air still managed to cut through the cloth.

With a shrug Caroline rested the blanket around her like a cape, and began to loop around the house towards the forest. She was careful to avoid the line of sight of the windows near her friends, as she took the now familiar path.

Her blonde hair bobbed in and out of the trees, as she walked silently with her thoughts, she wasn't sure why she wasn't scared, but no fear was in her body. Instead she felt strangely calm, as she wandered through the forest, no tears falling and no flashbacks. It was just her and Mr. Moon.

As she entered the clearing of Neverland, she wasn't shocked to find that many fireflies called the area home. Of course she still gasped, and span around a little before heading to her favorite rock by the river, but she was only human. Upon climbing on the rock, she decidedly, made sure that she was steady before leaning back to lay down.

Above her all of the stars twinkled, while the moon shined down upon her. It had just begun to restart its cycle, and every night the moon became bigger and bigger, but right now there was only a small piece shining away.

"Hello Mr. Moon," Caroline greeted. "What a mess I've gotten myself into huh," she giggled in spite of herself, briefly realizing what she would look like to someone else.

She was a teenage girl, that was sprawled on a rock in the middle of the forest, talking to the moon, who she knew wouldn't reply back. She probably looked crazy, but that didn't really matter. After all, she felt crazy.

"I don't know what to do," Caroline muttered to her old friend. "I mean I can't leave any of them, I need them, they're my friends. But at the same time, how can I force myself to go through this pain everyday?"

A crack of a twig drew Caroline out of her trance. Curiously, she sat up expecting to see green eyes, but instead being greeted by icy blue ones.

"Barbie, what are you doing out here?" Damon asked, shivering.

Caroline moved over to give him room, and held out the blanket for him to get under, which he didn't hesitate to do. "How'd you find me?" Caroline asked.

Damon eyed her for avoiding the question, before shrugging. "Stefan always used to run here when he was younger, and I figured that he'd given you this spot too," he stopped a second before continuing. "I'm sorry by the way, about Elena's cousin and Stefan and everything."

"You caught that huh?" Caroline said, trying to force out a chuckle.

"Duh," Damon responded.

Caroline suddenly looked at him, alarmed. "You don't think-"

"That Stefan knows?" Damon asked, making Caroline nod. "No way, my brother is an oblivious idiot. Katherine had been flirting with him for years before she finally just asked him out."

The blonde just nodded, before turning to the river and staring at it, apparently deep in thought. The two sat in a comfortable silence, before Caroline decided to break it.

"So you and Elena are cute," she snickered.

She could hear Damon let out a sigh before answering. "Yea I really love her."

"No you don't," Caroline said, absentmindedly, not truly realizing what she was saying. It was only when she looked at Damon's shocked face that she realized what she had said. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, that's totally not what I meant!"

"Then what the hell did you mean?" he asked, clearly annoyed.

"I mean that you're in love with her," Caroline said, clearly meaning him to understand something.

"Yes I know. That's why I said, I love her."

"But you don't!" Caroline practically yelled. "I hate that expression because it isn't true! Love is not a state, not when you love someone," she tried to explain, her gestures becoming wild. "For example, I love pickles on my sandwiches, but am I in love with that? No, that's just stupid.

"And this is the same thing. Elena is not an object, that you like, or love, or think is gross. No you're _in_ love with Elena. Meaning that you've dove into the sweet nectar that is her, with all her faults and insecurities. You can always get out, but eventually you'll be so far in love that you will just accept the joy that is drowning," Caroline finished her speech by glancing at Damon, who looked astonished. "So you don't love her."

She watched, as his eyes shifted to so many different emotions, before settling on pride. "You're truly something you know," the genuine smile that appeared on his face matched hers. "Besides I came out here to help you, not the other way around."

"Sorry Damon," Caroline giggled. "Go!"

Damon sighed, and let out a small chuckle before starting. "Look Stefan and I grew up with Katherine and Elena, as our three families are really close. They've known each other since they were in diapers, and for as long as I can remember Katherine has wanted to control him. Heck I remember her yelling at him when we were playing hide and seek because his hiding spot wasn't good enough," Damon started, making Caroline turn to him. "When they first started going out at thirteen, Stefan got her flowers everyday because he cared so much to make everything perfect. But Katherine ended up dumping him two months later," the blonde gasped at that, while Damon seemed to become deep in memories.

"For years it was like that. Stefan would throw everything he could into it, and Katherine would break his heart before begging for him to take her back. And here we are, with Stefan at sixteen, and it's still going on, and I'm scared for him," Damon looked at Caroline then, with true terror in his eyes.

"I'm confused," Caroline answered, making Damon furrow his eyebrows. "What does this have to do with me?"

"Because it's the same thing!" Damon practically shouted.

"Hey I would never do that to Stefan!" Caroline yelled back, offended that he would think that she could do that to him.

Damon rolled his eyes. "No not you being Katherine, I know that you would never hurt him," his voice was quieter now. "I mean Stefan. Look that first day when he defended you against all the football guys, I was so mad at him for being reckless and when I asked him why he did it, all he said was that he had to protect you. You're his best friend and he cares about you Caroline."

"Maybe," she responded, looking meekly at the river. "But not as much as he cares about her."

Damon was quiet for a moment, and the world seemed to stop, as the crickets chirped quietly and the fireflies glowed.

"I know how you feel about him," he whispered, staring at the side of Caroline's face, and the single tear that reflected the moonlight.

"And I know how I feel too," she muttered, turning to face him. "But whether I like him or not, you said it yourself, I'm just his best friend."

* * *

  _Am I squeezing you too tight?_

_If I could say what I want to see_

_I want to see you go down_

_On one knee_

_Marry me today_

_Guess, I'm wishing my life away_

_With these things I'll never say_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow was that as painful for you guys as it was for me? The angst seems to be starting full force, but at least Stefan seems to be trying to stay close to Caroline, and everyone else is on her side. But doesn't Klaus have curly blonde/brown hair, instead of straight brown hair? Hmm ;)
> 
> In other news, this chapter is named after the song Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne. The scene I imagined it being the background music of is the whole movie night, but more specifically the part where Damon and Caroline talk.
> 
> Hope you all liked it, and make sure to leave a comment!  
> ~Lizzie  
> Playlist: youtubeDOTcom/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jcdtdu7m6_yDVmgTmBFjRR8  
> Blog: sterolineislightDOTtumblrDOTcom


	8. Love You From Afar

_You told me 'girl look the other way'_

_You told me 'girl bite your tongue'_

_Yes that's not the way,_

_Yeah that's not the way_

_Ah that's not the way that friends behave_

* * *

 

The gang was laying lazily underneath their tree. It was a strangely warm day for mid February, but none of them were complaining about that. Their school had a large presentation for the final period of the day, so many students had skipped, but after persuading Katherine to stick around, they were all staying for the rest of the afternoon.

Damon was laid on his back, with Elena resting her head on his chest. They were sharing headphones and laughing at an episode of 'Family Guy' that Damon was streaming on his phone. Bonnie was sitting cross legged, with a book perched on her knees that she had to read for English class. Stefan and Katherine were both on their stomachs, while Stefan was teaching his girlfriend what math she missed while she was away.

Over the last few days Caroline had found out that Katherine's older sister, Nadia, who had moved to Bulgaria, had just gotten married. So Katherine had left for three weeks to go and help with the planning, and of course attend the actual event. As such, she had spent the last week trying in vain to catch up, with a lot of help from Stefan.

As for Caroline, she was sat with her legs drawn up to her chest, and her back resting against the bark. She had tried to work on her chemistry, but with all of the emotions that she had, had the last week, the textbook was inevitably replaced with her songbook.

She hated that she hadn't been strong enough to throw it away years ago, especially when the words would never see eyes other than her own, but she couldn't help it. When she was younger she used to write poetry religiously, and eventually she just started singing them.

She blames Taylor Swift for that, but really it was her own fault.

The lyrics just poured out of her, especially in times like this. Times when jealousy ate her from the inside out. Times when she almost hated her heart for having feelings that she knew would hurt her in the end. Times when she received pity looks from her friends, whenever her best friend shared a kiss with his girlfriend.

After her talk with Damon, Caroline had accepted the fact that she had feelings for Stefan. But she also accepted the fact that she would never act upon those feelings because there was no point. Everyone knew how that would end, and it wasn't her holding her arms up in victory.

"What are you thinking goldilocks?" asked a voice, drawing Caroline out of her revere.

"Hmm?" she answered, looking up and realizing that all eyes were on her.

Bonnie placed a bookmark inside the pages, while she spoke. "You've been staring at your

paper for quite a while."

"Yea, I can practically hear your thoughts from here," Elena supported. "What's wrong?"

Caroline opened her mouth to answer, but before she could say a word another voice spoke for her.

"Is someone's hair color stopping them from understanding basic chemistry?"

It was Katherine, of course it was Katherine. The girl just made Caroline feel genuinely uncomfortable in her skin, as if she was smaller than she really was. The one liners seemed to be a common occurrence, making the blonde wonder if she had done something to offend the girl. After all, they'd barely talked.

"You're doing chem?" Stefan suddenly questioned. "I'm at a 95% right now, do you want help?"

What the boy missed was the eye roll that his girlfriend supplied in the background. Once again making the blonde feel like she must have killed Katherine's dog in another life or something.

"Oh, umm no that's okay. I was just thinking," Caroline stuttered, glancing down at the page full of scribbles, that were definitely not chemistry.

But Stefan was already standing up, and reaching for the book. In her fright, Caroline slammed the book shut and shoved it into her messenger bag. Stefan couldn't see, none of them could.

But especially not him.

"Stefan I'm fine!" she almost yelled.

She could see everyone looking at her, bewilderment on their faces. Caroline always accepted help from Stefan, so what was different this time?

"Caroline it's fine to need some help."

The weight of those words fell on Caroline more than they should've. After all, she couldn't accept help, she never did. It was too dangerous.

So with that, she stood up and slung her bag over her shoulder.

"Stefan I'm fine okay, I'll just get help from the teacher or something." She then turned away from his unbelieving eyes to the whole group. "We are sitting together during the presentation right? So I'll meet you all there?"

The bell chimed, as everyone nodded hesitantly at her words. The enthusiasm with which she spoke, sort of scared them, and they were worried that her walls were starting to rebuild themselves.

Caroline on the other hand, was still relieved when she made it to math. The class itself was quite boring, but she didn't really mind it because she had managed to dodge a disaster. Even the thought of Stefan, or any of them, seeing her songbook freaked her out. After all, majority of the lyrics were one lines that she later joined together. But the lines that were there were the most important and revealed too much, way too much.

She could barely hear her math teacher drone away, as she quietly filled in her worksheet at the back of the class. Caroline liked numbers because it was black and white. Either it was right, or it was wrong, there was no in between.

Sometimes she wished life was like that, and as she stared at the lyrics that she'd written down during lunch, she began to understand why.

_"He came to me with the sweetest smile, told me he wanted to talk for awhile"_

Life would be so much simpler if people could just say what they felt. There would be no complications, no misunderstandings, and no one would be hurt because there would be no lies. There wouldn't be a need to lie anymore because everything would be true or false. Or as Caroline saw it; black or white.

The ring of the bell made Caroline jump, and quickly shove her books into her messenger bag. With a small hand, she picked it up, and proceeded to walk towards the massive gymnasium. Swarms of people walked beside her, as she strode with the sea, the vibration of her phone caught her attention when she finally entered the large room.

Stefan: We are all on the top row to the left. I saved you a seat.

Looking up, the blonde spotted her friends waving wildly, and sure enough, there was an empty seat between Stefan and Bonnie. With a grin, Caroline walked up the stairs and sat down between them.

"Anyone know what this is about?" Bonnie asked, drawing everyone's attention to her.

"No idea, but it's probably boring," Katherine whined from the other side of Stefan.

Their hands were intertwined between them. Caroline had to look away from fear of vomiting.

"Keep an open mind, it probably won't be that bad," Elena chastised from beside Bonnie, her boyfriend nodding behind her.

Caroline opened her mouth to give her two cents, but before she could, the principal went up to the front and began to talk. He explained that they had a special guest today, here to share her story and open up the student's eyes.

Caroline smiled at Damon's scoff, but clapped along with the student anyway, as a small woman went up to the podium. She was a skinny woman, with mousy brown hair, and deep brown eyes. Something inside her made Caroline trust her, and she found that she was enraptured before the woman even spoke.

"Hello, my name is Emma, and I am not a victim," she stated, proudly as if it were an achievement. "You may be asking yourself why I just said that, but I assure you that it will make sense in the end.

"You see, I am one of two children. I have a younger brother named Charley, and we were as close as any siblings could be. However, when I was sixteen there became a wedge between us, and that wedge was known as my father."

Caroline could see that the woman was so deep in memories at this point, that nothing would shake her out of her story until it was concluded. But as the woman continued to speak, Caroline's hands began to sweat.

"My father was not a man to be trifled with, and growing up my brother and I knew this. But we also knew that little Charley was his favourite because he never got yelled at, or punished." Emma stopped to contemplate for a second, "However, he probably would have if I didn't shelter him like I did, but I regret nothing. After all, he's my little brother."

If Caroline wasn't so lost in her memories, she would've seen Damon glance at Stefan, his own memories floating in his eyes.

"But my father didn't like me," Emma continued. "In fact, yelling in my house became a daily occurrence, and I wouldn't repeat half the words that he called me."

Caroline closed her eyes, as memories that she had long since blocked out came crawling back. Her hands began to shake, so she pulled the long sleeves of her shirt over them, gripping them with her fingers. But nothing could stop her chest, as it rose and fell at an increased speed.

_"You blonde, bimbo, bitch."_

_"You're just the back-up."_

_"Why do you think your mom's never home? It sure as hell isn't my fault."_

Suddenly, she felt her cold hands, locked in a warm embrace. Her eyes shot open, and she came face to face with Stefan who had clearly noticed her distress.

"Care?" he asked, but she couldn't respond, she just stared at him and tried to ignore the ghosts.

"But I was one of the lucky ones," Emma confessed. "No not because I got out early, or someone found out. No I was lucky because of my mother. My sweet mother, who protected Charley and I every second of the day, without her, I don't know how I would've survived."

The woman took a breathe, but Caroline didn't have the luxury. Her eyes began to swim with tears, until Stefan's face became unrecognizable.

She could remember her mother leaving. Everyday she left. Leaving a small blonde girl behind.

"I can't, I can't, I can't" Caroline gasped, almost moving into hysterics, voice barely above a whisper.

Stefan was absolutely terrified, not sure what to do without leaving the gym. He could feel his friends looking at them, but he couldn't care less. The only thing that mattered was the girl in front of him.

"You can," he told her, even as she shook her head.

"I didn't know, but as my dad tortured me, he tortured my mom twice as much," Emma confessed.

"Here, lean your head on my chest, and close your eyes, and listen to my heart okay?" Stefan suggested. "Focus on matching the beat."

_"Your mother never accepted me. Maybe it was because you were such a disappointment."_

Blonde hair hit Stefan's chest, as the tears began to soak his shirt. The memories that Caroline had repressed were rising, and she was terrified of what they held.

"My mother sacrificed her freedom everyday, so that one day I could have my own," Emma stated. "So I stand before you today, not a victim, but as a survivor."

Students were nodding their heads around the bleachers, some were even clapping quietly. No one noticed the crying blonde, at the back of the stands.

"My father didn't control me, I did," Emma said.

A new voice then reared its ugly head from Caroline's memories.

_"You are mine."_

"I came out a better me."

_"Worthless, pathetic."_

"I wouldn't change a thing."

_"How could you put her through this hell?"_

A new voice asked the demon inside her head.

"So let me inspire you, like my little brother and my mother did me," Emma concluded, to thunderous applause from the school.

Caroline was shaking so much, that she felt as if the walls were closing in. Se had to get out, she had to go home. So once the principal said they could leave, she did something that she'd never done before. She ran away from her friends.

Even as she heard her name being called, she forced herself to take in oxygen, while she ran for her house. It wasn't that far away and before long, she was unlocking the door with shaking hands. The faint vibration of her phone seemed to fade away, when she finally got through the door and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Caroline?" her mom asked, coming out of the kitchen. "What are you doing home so early?"

The blonde looked at her mother. She could tell that she was still tired from her night shift that finished that morning, but she'd obviously slept. Liz was in jeans a t-shirt, a rare occurrence for her, but something that triggered something in her daughter.

"Mommy," Caroline practically whispered.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Liz questioned, concern lacing her voice, as she strode over to her daughter.

It was that question that made Caroline break down all over again. The relief that flooded her body when she saw her mother, could only be compared to the comfort that she felt in her arms. She was more than thankful that her mother was home for the evening.

Carefully, her mother drew her over to the couch, and waited until her daughter stopped crying. Then she patiently waited until Caroline was ready to talk, and listened fully to the story about the presentation that had just happened. Immediately, she knew why her daughter was so broken up, and while she wished that it didn't affect Caroline, she wasn't an idiot.

Her daughter was and continued to be the most important thing in her life, and every decision that she made was for Caroline. Perhaps she made some bad choices, but she always tried to fix it for the blonde girl sitting in front of her.

So she simply held her daughter, and dried her tears before announcing that they were having a bonding night. She was officially holding her own daughter captive, with junk food and trash TV.

An hour later saw the pair, all cried out with a large bowl of ice cream between them. Giggles surrounded them, while reruns of 'The Bachelor' played on the TV.

"I can't believe you persuaded me to help you make an, 'everything but the kitchen sink' sundae," Liz professed for the sixth time.

"I can't believe Juan Pablo was picked as the bachelor, like he was so sleazy," her daughter countered, taking a spoonful of cookie dough mixed with whip cream and gummy bears.

Liz rolled her eyes at her daughter, "please you loved him, until the overnights" she argued, nibbling on a gummy worm, coated with chocolate sauce.

Caroline hummed in response, before letting out a small sigh of content. Her head inevitably perched on her mother's shoulder, making her forehead get a kiss in response.

"When is your next break?" Caroline finally asked the question that she had been dreading.

"I think about a week and a half," Liz confessed apologetically. "I also have a shift at five."

The groan came out before Caroline could stop it. She loved her mom, she was the most inspirational person in the world, but that was the problem. Liz had to work for the majority of the time, and while Caroline respected this, she also missed her mom a lot. After all, this was the first night that they had spent together since arriving in Mystic Falls.

"So you going to tell me why your phone keeps buzzing?" Liz requested, in an 'I know something you don't know' voice.

"Probably just Stefan," Caroline said, reaching for her phone.

"Wow, shocker," Liz responded, sarcastically.

"Shut up," Caroline said, before reaching for her phone. Sure enough, the device was filled with text messages from everyone, but majority of them were Stefan.

"So there's Elena and Damon who are dating," Liz said, as if reciting a speech, "and they are so in love that I just can't even!"

Caroline was laughing at the impression before her mom even finished talking. Liz had spoken in a voice similar to a teenage girl, and it was almost perfect.

"Wait, wait I can do better!" Liz decided, holding her hand up to try to stop her daughter from laughing. "They are so in love, and my new OTP. Like I'm dead, RIP me!" she cried, attempting to cover up her own laughter.

Meanwhile, Caroline was holding her stomach to try and control the shaking of her body. For the first time in a long time, her eyes were dripping with tears of joy, rather than sadness.

"Are you making fun of my obsession? I mean ship," Liz faked. Then suddenly, she moved the large bowl onto the table and pounced on her daughter. Caroline's laughter got even louder, as her mom tickled her stomach. "Fandom for life! Fandom is family!" Liz screamed.

"I yield, I yield!" Caroline giggled, looking up at the woman who inspired her above all others.

Their laughter died down, as the pair of them sat back onto the couch, the TV show still playing in the background.

"So yes, there's Damon and Elena," Caroline continued, as if there hadn't been an interruption. "And they are dating, and in love," she snickered. "Then there's Bonnie, who is one of the greatest people I've ever met. Elena and Bonnie sing in the car all the time, and it's amazing."

Liz smiled at the happiness on her daughter's face. She could tell that these people meant the world to her, and she was glad that Caroline had found some friends that cared.

"And then there's Stefan. Your best friend," Liz finished for Caroline, who nodded.

"Yep and his girlfriend Katherine. Then that's everyone."

Liz rolled her eyes, "So he has a girlfriend?" At Caroline's nod, Liz said something totally unexpected. "That shouldn't stop you."

Caroline gasped at her mother's comment, throwing a pillow at her head, even while she laughed. She knew that her mom could tell how she felt for her best friend. After all, her mom could read her like an open book, but she still couldn't believe that she had said that.

"He's my best friend," Caroline sighed.

"You said that already," Liz grinned, but before Caroline could answer the doorbell rang.

The two women looked at each other, before Liz shrugged and gestured towards the door. With a roll of her eyes, Caroline pushed herself up and walked towards the door.

"Stefan?"

Before Caroline stood her best friend, wearing the same clothes as before, but looking more sad, almost ashamed. His hair looked as if his hands had run through it multiple times, and Caroline could tell that he was mentally exhausted.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hey," she responded, automatically. "What are you doing here?"

"I was a bit worried about you," he confessed. "And I feel bad about blowing up your phone, but I wanted to make sure you were alright. So I brought a peace offering," he confessed, as he held up Shrek for Caroline to inspect, making her smile.

With the grin still on her face, she moved back and let him into her house. Her best friend smiled in return, before removing his shoes and following her towards the TV.

"Hello, you must be Stefan," Liz said, getting up from the couch and holding out her hand.

Stefan took it with a polite smile. "Yes Ms. Forbes, nice to meet you."

"Oh, please call me Liz, Ms. Forbes makes me feel old."

Stefan laughed before plopping down onto the other side of the couch. A smile came to his face, as he watched his crazy best friend scurry around the room to set up the DVD. Liz noticed, but didn't say anything, even as Stefan laid his arm across the back of the couch.

"I'm sorry, but what's happening here?" Liz asked, confusion lacing her voice.

"Stefan brought Shrek over!" Caroline almost squealed, falling between her mother and best friend.

Stefan chuckled, as Liz groaned loudly. "No, Stefan you traitor! Now she'll quote the whole thing, and never shut up."

"I'm sorry, I swear I'm innocent!" Stefan responded, holding his arms up.

However, Liz didn't miss the fact that when his arm came back down, it landed around her daughter's shoulders.

Sure enough, the first half of the movie was exactly as Liz described. With Caroline quoting almost every line that Donkey said, gradually sliding further down the couch. After a while, her head rested in Stefan's lap, while her feet were tucked in her mom's. A blanket draped over all of them, and Liz hadn't seen her daughter so content in a long time.

"Okay, I need to get a little more sleep before my shift," Liz confessed, apologetically.

Her daughter nodded, and sat up to give her mom a hug and kiss. "Goodnight mom. I love you."

"Love you too sweetie. It was nice meeting you Stefan," Liz responded, turning towards the stairs.

"You too Liz, thanks for having me over," Stefan said, seeing the woman nod before looking back at his friend. Caroline was in her original position, with her head in his lap, laughing at the jokes in the movie. "So why do you like this movie so much?" Stefan asked, curiously.

"I like the message," Caroline answered, looking at the screen. "I mean, loving someone despite how the look? Pretty powerful stuff. Also it's funny, which is a plus."

Stefan nodded, in recognition before glancing at the table. "Jeez, you guys decide to clean out your freezer?" he joked.

He felt Caroline shake with laughter, even as she felt shame flood her body. "When I was little my mother and I used to always have 'everything but the kitchen sink' sundaes. So we decided to recreate it tonight. But let's just say, I won't have another cheat day for a while," she chuckled, her eyes still on the screen.

"Caroline you're like a stick," Stefan told her, "you could have all the cheat days in the world and still be beautiful."

She didn't respond, but the small smile on her face informed Stefan that he'd said the right thing.

For a while after that, the pair was quiet, both watching the movie underneath a blanket. Stefan would periodically stroke her hair, and they were both content and comfortable. Then, when Shrek was about to interrupt the wedding, Caroline spoke.

"Hey, what supernatural creature do you think you'd be?" she asked, turning to face him

"I don't know," Stefan responded, bewildered with the question.

"I feel like you'd be a vampire," Caroline giggled, lifting a hand up to touch his hair. "You've kinda got an Edward Cullen thing going on with this hair."

"Pfft, ouch!" Stefan responded, feigning hurt.

"But you'd be like a real vampire," Caroline continued. "Like one that burned in the sun, and actually felt guilt over killing. Although, you're you so you'd spend most of your time dragging around journals," she joked, referring to the journal that he'd mentioned a few days ago.

"Well I guess that's slightly better," Stefan sighed, shaking his head, smirking.

"What would I be?" Caroline suddenly asked.

He opened his mouth to respond, but before he did he looked at her face. All joy and light, and truly the embodiment of sunshine. He remembered the excitement that she'd shown about Shrek, and that picture that he saw when he came in. The picture of a young girl, wearing a flowing white dress with no ghosts clouding her eyes.

"You'd be an angel," he finally said. "A beautiful angel that came to save tortured, lost souls."

She seemed to stop for a second, before sitting up, and whispering, "Would I save vampires?"

Stefan was so close that Caroline could feel his breathe on his lips. Butterflies erupted in her stomach, while she gazed into his eyes, awaiting his answer.

"You already have," he answered, breathlessly.

They seemed to be getting closer, and Caroline fought the urge to look at his lips, until he glanced at hers. Their noses were brushing lightly, they were sharing the same air, and the space was disappearing.

Until the ring of a phone made them jump apart, and Stefan to reach into his pocket. "Hey Katherine," he said, making Caroline shake her head. "Yea I'll tell her," he responded after a second. "Okay, okay. Bye."

Stefan hung up, and the atmosphere seemed to be unrecognizable between them. Caroline didn't like it.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Katherine, Bonnie and Elena, have planned a girls night tomorrow. You're invited and she wanted me to let you know," Stefan responded. "Oh and umm, you missed the end of the movie."

The blonde turned around to find that he was right, so she quickly stopped the movie, and went to eject it.

"It's getting late anyway," she said. "Here you go."

Stefan shook his head, at the movie case in her hand. "No you keep it. It won't get watched at my house."

Caroline nodded her head, as she followed Stefan to the door. She didn't like the weird energy between them, so right before he opened the door, she spoke.

"Stefan, thanks for this. Also, thanks for tonight," she said sincerely. "I needed you, I just didn't know how to ask.

"I know," Stefan responded, and with that he pulled her into a hug.

Caroline wondered about what had happened that night, but as she stood there, locked in the arms of Stefan, she found that she didn't care. Even after that presentation, she was extremely happy.

Perhaps she wasn't a victim after all.

* * *

 

_You lined me up_

_Across the room_

_Two falling sparks_

_One willing fool_

_And I, I always knew_

_That I would love you from afar_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there guys!
> 
> So this was the longest chapter to date, and also probably the most revealing. I hope you guys appreciated the vampire reference that I slipped in there, and also my guilty pleasure is indeed The Bachelor. But that conversation will become very important later.
> 
> As for the song, it is From Afar by Vance Joy, who is a genius! I changed the pronouns at the beginning to make sense with the story, but I think we all know why I chose it.
> 
> Oh, also, if anyone wants to do anything creative with this fic, seriously do it. For example, the cover for this story was made by my friend on tumblr @damnsteroline, and I actually received multiple. So if you wanna made a video, or a photoshop, or even gifs, submit them to me on tumblr, or PM them to me. It's always an honor!
> 
> Next chapter is girls night, so look out, and don't forget to leave a review!  
> ~Lizzie
> 
> Blog: sterolineislightDOTtumblrDOTcom  
> Playlist: youtubeDOTcom/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jcdtdu7m6_yDVmgTmBFjRR8


	9. It's Miserable and Magical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Cailyn: Awe I'm so glad this is your favorite human AU. More chapters will be coming and hopefully more regularly!

_We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time_

_It's miserable and magical._

_Oh, yeah_

_Tonight's the night when we forget about the deadlines_

_It's time_

* * *

 Caroline had barely set foot on Bonnie's front porch when loud barking came from inside. That was soon joined with squealing, and before the blonde could brace herself, the door was flung open and she was tackled into a hug. Their giggles accompanied them, as Bonnie pulled her friend inside her house and closed the door behind them.

Before Caroline could say a word, a small, white Pomeranian came rushing to the door. The small dog was barking like crazy, until it finally sniffed Caroline's hand and began to lick it madly.

"Whoa, Sophie never likes anyone," Bonnie exclaimed, watching as Caroline grinned at the dog.

"I love dogs," she admitted, stroking the small animal. "She yours?"

"Mine and my Grams, I just get to keep her around since Grams lives in a small apartment."

Caroline smiled at her friend. "So this is your house?" she asked, looking around and taking off her shoes.

Bonnie nodded, "Yep this is where the magic happens," she joked. "My parents are away with some friends for the weekend so they said I could have you all over for a massive girls night!"

The smile that came to Caroline's face felt like the biggest smile in the world. She didn't know how, but her friends had the power to make her feel normal and appreciated with only a few words.

"So do you have many activities planned?" Caroline questioned, following Bonnie to the living room, where two large mattresses covered with blankets sat.

"Well other than dancing, singing, baking, facials, and being stereotypical. Not really," she laughed.

"Stereotypical?" the blonde asked.

"Yea, pillow fights, truth or dare, we are going the whole nine yards!"

Caroline rolled her eyes at her friends craziness, as the doorbell rang and Bonnie ran to go and grab it. As Caroline looked around at the many pieces of art on the wall, she could hear Bonnie greeting Katherine into her house.

"Hello Caroline," the newcomer greeted, not being able to stop the sneer from appearing on her face.

The blonde just waved absentmindedly, while gazing at all of the different trinkets on the fireplace. There were rocks from far off rivers, bottles of sand from beaches, gum wrappers from foreign streets, and bottle caps from small town breweries. There were so many collections of small things that other people would overlook, so carefully labeled with dates and locations.

"My Gram gave us them," Bonnie said, making Caroline turn towards her.

"She went everywhere," the blonde sighed. "She must have seen so many things that no one else would have even considered seeing. Was she a journalist?"

Bonnie gave a small sigh. "Sort of. She wanted to write a book called '100 Places No One Ever Sees,' but I think she got to about 85 before stopping."

"Why?"

"Age," she stated simply.

Caroline gazed at Bonnie, a sadness in her heart at the thought of being so close to a dream, only to lose it because of something uncontrollable. All she knew was that she wanted to meet this woman, who had seemed to strike a fire of inspiration inside of her.

"Umm, you're out of ice cream," Katherine called from the kitchen, reminding Carline that she was there.

She vaguely heard Bonnie go towards the kitchen and search her freezer frantically. But all that she could see was the collections of amazing things that one woman had found all on her own. She hadn't needed anyone.

"Okay, change of plans," Bonnie announced. "Katherine and I are heading out to buy ice cream, but Elena is on her way, so-"

"I'll stay," Caroline assured her. "You go, I don't mind staying and waiting for her."

She was rewarded with a hug and a whispered "thank you," as the two other girls left Caroline on her own. With a small sigh, she began to wander around the first floor, taking in the small knick knacks that had obviously been supplied by Bonnie's Gram.

After doing an entire lap, some part of her lead Caroline to the basement, where she found a pool table, a storage room and a large object covered by a sheet. Out of curiosity, and slight nosiness, she strode over and pulled up a corner of the sheet. She gasped, as a large sleek black grand piano was hidden underneath it.

Carefully, she moved the cloth until the cover of the keys was revealed. Then with slow movements, as if undressing a child, she carefully pulled up the lid to see the black and white rectangles. With an odd look of longing in her eyes she rubbed her fingers overtop, before pressing down on a key.

A loud sound echoed around the basement. Long and clean and sure of itself, making Caroline's lips twist into a small smile.

On pure instinct and need she sat on the small bench, and laid both hands on the keys. Memories flew back through her mind of times when she sat in this very position. She could still remember when she first got a piano, at six years old.

Little blonde her had ran around the store, finally stopping at a small keyboard and randomly playing notes that happened to sound amazing. The shopkeeper had said that she had musical instinct and that he could learn something from her. Then he taught her a small piece on the piano, and it was the first time she had ever seen her mother cry.

She almost wished it was the last.

However, she also wished that she still had her piano, but she lost it a while ago. Back when she realized just how talentless she truly was. Nevertheless, as she sat on that bench and gazed at the perfect instrument, her fingers began to move.

She could picture her songbook in her head. She could see the words scratched across the page. She could hear what she had always imagined the accompaniment to sound like.

Slowly she closed her eyes and for the first time in a long time, let herself sink into the music inside of her. Her right hand pushed down into the keys, letting a long B slip into the air. She let herself soak it up before pressing it again, this time with an E accompanying it. Once again she allowed it to fade out on its own before pressing the keys again, this time with a G joining the mix.

The smile that graced her face seemed to light up the room, as she played the three notes again. B, E, and G reverberated throughout the basement for a final time, before she adjusted her hand.

Once again she pushed down, one note at a time, before she formed the second cord, which consisted of B, D, and G. However, when she played them in succession she realized that it sounded as if she was missing something.

As if a vital piece of the puzzle had been taken out.

She bounced her left leg, as she began to think hard, only to notice her left hand that was sitting on top of it. With a mischievous grin on her face, she pulled up her other hand, and as she played the first cord with her right, she pushed down on C.

However, that sounded off, and after a few more tests she finally decided to use the letter E with her first cord. The second cord came easier, and as her right hand pressed on the three notes, her left hand was holding a D.

This continued until she had a total of four combinations, that all came together to create a low harmony. With confident movements she played them over and over, until they were cemented into her brain.

It wasn't until around the tenth time that the thought of singing even came into her mind. After having so many doubts thrown into her head, she knew that singing wasn't truly where her talents laid, but she couldn't stop herself from thinking of Grams.

Of how strong she was.

Little did she know that upstairs, Elena had just come through the door, and after putting down her stuff, the brunette had followed the sound of the piano. The other girl was now standing outside the slightly open door, watching with an open mouth and a recording phone.

Meanwhile, Caroline was still playing the chords in succession, but right when she approached the first for the sixteenth time, she opened her mouth to sing.

"There was a time when I was alone, nowhere to go and no place to call home," she sang in a soft voice.

Within those two lines she had played all four chords so effortlessly, that she almost didn't want to stop playing. The pain in her voice was so evident, as her voice permeated the air. Even as she continued to play the piano she could picture the next two lines in her head.

So with less hesitation, she sung the next part when she played the first chord for the twentieth time. "My only friend was the man in the moon, and even sometimes he would go away too."

She could picture a small blonde girl, staring up at the sky and wondering where her silver friend had gone, as her parents continued to yell a floor below. Mr. Moon had been with her for so long, and for many years he was all she had as company.

Upstairs, Bonnie and Katherine had arrived, right as Caroline decided that she would try all of it together, before covering everything back up. The two newcomers were just walking down the stairs, when Caroline opened her mouth one last time.

"There was a time when I was alone, nowhere to go and no place to call home. My only friend was the man in the moon, and even sometimes he would go away too."

All hesitation from her voice was gone, as her movements were now so sure. She felt as if the music had wrapped her in a warm cocoon and every note was like a kiss on her cheek. Once again she was that six year old in a music store, and she loved feeling like that again.

Her shoulders were completely relaxed, as her fingers played the chords one last time before finally releasing them. With a long sigh she began to push the cover over the keys, before hearing a bang behind her.

She whipped around, only to see Katherine, Elena and Bonnie strewn out over the floor, the door now fully opened beside them.

"What? Where, what?" Caroline sputtered, as her friends quickly rose up and tried to fix themselves.

"Care we are so sorry for spying on you," Elena swore to her. "But your voice is absolutely incredible."

"And that song was fantastic," Bonnie added in.

The blonde just stared at her friends, somehow feeling both shame and pride run through her. She knew that her friends were just telling her that to make her feel better, especially since they were those kinds of people. Caroline knew how talentless she was, and although she was proud of her friends for being nice, she also felt completely embarrassed about the fact that they'd heard her sing.

"Oh umm, thanks I guess," Caroline stuttered. She knew that her friends would still fake it, so she had to at least pretend that she believed them. Believed that she had some talent. "So facials?"

Bonnie and Elena blinked at her, seemingly confused. "Wait, you just want us to ignore what just happened?" Bonnie questioned, bewildered.

Caroline just stared at them, trying to think of an excuse in her head as to why she wouldn't want to talk about it. However as she searched her head frantically, a saviour came to her rescue.

"Guys she obviously doesn't want to talk about it," Katherine sighed. "Let's respect her decision and go and treat ourselves upstairs. Besides the sooner we do that, the sooner we can play truth or dare!"

The two other brunettes shook their heads and rolled their eyes before turning around to walk up the stairs. Caroline wanted to ask Katherine why she did that, but before she could the other girl began strutting up the stairs. So with a shrug Caroline followed her friends up the stairs, praying that her little stunt would never be mentioned.

* * *

It was nearly three hours later, and there were still giggles echoing from the living room at 11 o'clock. The four girls were officially pampered with nails painted, faces moisturized and pyjamas on. Currently they were about to start their first round of truth or dare at Katherine's demand.

"So why do you like this game so much?" Caroline asked curiously, as she took a sip of her water.

Before Katherine could speak, Elena opened her mouth. "Because she loves hearing people's dirty secrets. Plus she lost her first kiss during this game."

Katherine just rolled her eyes, as Caroline felt a burn at the back of her throat. She could tell by the apologetic look on Elena's face that it had been Stefan. Even though she had seen them kiss a number of times it still hurt her, besides Katherine would always be Stefan's first.

And probably his last.

"So Elena, truth or dare," Katherine suddenly pronounced, making the other brunettes laugh.

"Umm, truth," Elena decided.

The girl seemed to think for a minute before her face burst with an idea. "How long were you with Damon before he got in your pants?"

Elena gasped and threw a pillow at her cousin, gaping at how forward she was. Meanwhile, Bonnie and Caroline shook with laughter at the exasperated look on their friends face.

"Not that it's any of your business, but about two months. Why?" she suddenly asked, narrowing her eyes.

Katherine just shrugged, "Wanted to know if you beat me and Stefan."

Once again the burn returned to Caroline, this time seemingly more intense. It seemed that Katherine was one of those girls that just had to mention their boyfriend all the time. The blonde found herself wondering if Katherine knew what effect her words had on her.

"Care?" Elena asked, drawing her out of her revere.

"Hmm?" she mumbled.

"Truth or dare?"

She blinked, eyes wide. "Oh umm, truth I guess?" she answered, seemingly unsure.

She didn't want to tell her friends that she had never even played this game before, she wasn't really the close friend type. Besides where she grew up, the games were a lot riskier than truth or dare. Caroline's stomach flipped at the thought.

"Who is the biggest emoji user you know?" Elena giggled.

The grin on Caroline's face spread against her will, as she rolled her eyes. "Stefan obviously," she giggled. "I mean seriously every second message with that guy is pretty much all emojis."

However, her chucking died down when she saw that no one else had joined in. Instead Elena and Bonnie were looking at her curiously, while Katherine just looked livid.

"What?" the blonde asked. "Don't you guys get emojis from Stefan too?"

Elena was already shaking her head before Caroline even finished her sentence. "No. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen him use one emoji in my life."

"Pfft, really 'Lena?" Katherine said, exasperatedly. "Stefan's second language is basically emoji."

She seemed to force a laugh, as Caroline looked at her curiously. Katherine had no reason to lie about this, and if Stefan sent Caroline emojis then surely he sent them to his girlfriend. But she couldn't shake off the feeling that Katherine never got emojis from Stefan, as the air about her seemed to reek of dishonesty.

"Um, Bonnie truth or dare?" Caroline asked, wanting to move on.

"Dare," the brunette challenging making everyone whoop.

Caroline grinned evilly. "I dare you to let me text a message of my choice to the last person you texted."

The brunette gaped before lunging for her phone. Only the blonde was too quick for her and before she knew what was happening, Caroline was stood up with her phone in her hand.

"Passcode?" the blonde acquired.

"5497," Bonnie sighed, resigning herself to her fate.

The blonde giggled and went onto messenger, expecting to see the last number as Bonnie's mother. But to her surprise the top name was 'Him 3' making the blonde smirk at her friend.

"Who's 'Him' Bon?" she inquired, grinning at the scared look on her friends face. "Could it be one Lorenzo St. John?"

The rest of her friends squealed at the mention of the british boy that kept eyeing the small girl. They had no idea that their friend was getting so close to him, and they couldn't contain their excitement.

"Just don't send anything to ruin it for me. We are just getting to know each other," Bonnie whined, interrupting their celebrating.

The blonde glanced at her friend with sincerity in her eyes, as she thought of something to say that wouldn't completely embarrass her friend. She knew that Bonnie really liked this guy, and that he felt the same way back. The only problem was that neither of them could pick up the courage to say anything.

So with a small smile she texted something and quickly tossed it to her friend after she hit send. The friend in question immediately unlocked her phone and glared back at her.

"Hey, I'm trying to help you here," Caroline called, raising her hands up in mock surrender.

"What did you say?" Elena asked, excitedly.

Bonnie sighed before reading off of her phone. "Look we've been beating around this bush too long. I have no plans tomorrow, want to make a day of it?"

The other two gasped, as Bonnie continued to glare at the blonde. Meanwhile, Caroline had sat down and was giggling at the fact that Sophie had jumped into her arms as soon as her butt hit the ground.

"Tomorrow is Sunday, and I know you're not busy," Caroline answered, still smiling at the puppy. "I also know you like him almost as much as he likes you."

Bonnie opened her mouth to answer, but right when she was about to her phone chimed. All the girls looked at her, as she opened up the message and beamed at Caroline.

"He said that he can't wait!" she screamed, making all of her friends gleam with joy.

They spent the next few minutes making fun of her and joking about her date tomorrow, as Bonnie just rolled her eyes at their many innuendos. It wasn't until her face was thoroughly red that she decided to continue their forgotten game.

"Kat, truth or dare?" she asked, breaking through the sound of Elena's giggles.

"Hmm, truth," Katherine sighed.

Bonnie thought for a second, before looking at her friend. "Do you believe in soul mates?"

Caroline's hand, that was scratching Sophie behind the ear, halted as she waited for Katherine's response. She remembered when she was young and optimistic and still on a high from Disney movies. So high in fact that she believed in soul mates and one try love and everything that came with it. Before everything was kicked out of her she actually had it in her mind that everything would be okay as long as she could sing a song about it.

She hated how stupid her younger self was.

"Of course I do," Katherine answered, sounding sure and cocky. "I mean there has to be a reason that Stefan and I are always drawn back to each other."

Caroline could see the other two girls nodding their heads out of the corner of her eye, as Sophie licked her now motionless hand. She could practically feel Katherine's proud look as she thought of her perfect life. The blonde suddenly felt jealousy take over her at the thought of the brunettes optimism and chances.

Katherine had the body of a tween girl's dream, the boyfriend written about in books, and the money that suburban families envied.

But it didn't matter because Caroline didn't deserve it anyway. She was stupid for even being jealous because even if she did have all that, she would find a way to lose it. That was her, stupid Caroline that lost all good things before she realized she ever had them.

She was a waste of time and space.

"Oh, cookies are done," Bonnie exclaimed at the beep of the oven. Elena jumped up to help her get them out, leaving Katherine and Caroline alone in the room.

Only, they weren't really alone. Not when Caroline's demons hung so close by.

"Truth or dare," Katherine suddenly asked.

Caroline looked up, unsure of what to do without Elena and Bonnie in the room. "Shouldn't we wait for-"

But Katherine cut her off. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth I guess," Caroline muttered.

The brunette smirked evilly at that. "Okay then, what game are you playing here?" she asked suddenly. "With this whole damaged girl act that everyone but me has seemed to buy. Did you really think that you could waltz your way in here and steal my boyfriend and my friends?"

Katherine was stood up now, following Caroline as she scooted backwards until her back was flat against the wall. Shakily she rose to her feet, only to lose feeling in them when she saw that Katherine was right in front of her.

"Newsflash Barbie, you can't replace me. In fact you can't replace anyone. You worthless piece of shit."

In desperation, Caroline moved to go past Katherine, only to have her wrist grabbed. Flashes of times when bruises grew on that area played behind her eyes, as Katherine shoved her back into the wall. Tears escaped her eyes before she could stop them, and suddenly she didn't know where she was.

_"You're hurting me," fifteen year old Caroline cried. "You said you would never hurt me."_

_"Oh sweetheart, don't you know that I don't want to," he growled, as if blaming her for his treatment. "You know that this is all your fault right? If you would have just listened."_

_He trailed off as he ran his one hand to her thigh, his other still grasping onto her wrist. Caroline cried out in pain, and fear as he began to lift up her dress._

_"Not again, please," she begged, hating how she sounded. "I still hurt from last time."_

_"You never learn," he sneered, before crushing her against the wall._

_Her scream was silenced by his lips, and her tears dried against his skin._

"Caroline!" cried a distant voice, but the blonde couldn't hear her.

She was curled on the ground in a large mass, she couldn't think or feel or move. Flashbacks of memories were forcing their way into her mind, as she tried in vain to push them back.

"Caroline," was called again, this time in a recognizable voice.

A soft hand touched Caroline's hair, and that was it. She bounced up, almost hitting Bonnie, as she began to grab her bag and throw her belongings into it, wildly. Vaguely she recognized her friends trying to speak to her, but she was already too far gone.

She needed to get out.

"Caroline please," Elena practically begged, making the blonde turn around.

Her heart broke at the look on Elena's face. It was stained with tears, as the brunette took in her friends panicked state. Then there was Bonnie, who looked as if she had seen a ghost. Although seeing Caroline like this, she practically had.

But then there was Katherine. Who behind Bonnie's shoulder looked as if she was a cheshire cat who had finally received her prey. It made Caroline shake in fear, as she recalled the look on a very similar face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, before running to the door, grabbing her shoes and fleeing into the night.

* * *

 

  _I don't know about you_

_But I'm feeling 22_

_Everything will be alright_

_If you keep me next to you_

_You don't know about me_

_But I'll bet you want to_

_Everything will be alright_

_If we just keep dancing like we're_

_22, ooh-ooh_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay before I say anything else, I owe you all a giant apology. Let's just say that I had probably the worst few weeks of my life and even though it's no excuse, that's the reason for the lack of an update. I won't load you guys with the details, but basically stress and family and ugh.
> 
> Regardless, I do promise you guys that the next review will be out way sooner, as I can't exactly leave you all on that cliff hanger can I? Where do you think Caroline has gone? And what do you think Stefan and everyone will say when they find out what happened? Also what the hell is up with Caroline's past?
> 
> Well I can assure you that answers are indeed coming, and while this chapter wasn't very Steroline heavy, it was extremely important for Caroline's character. So will the next few by the way.
> 
> Obviously this chapter was after 22 by Taylor Swift, otherwise known as the official sleepover song. Also I changed the version of Lost Boy on the playlist to match what Caroline plays in this chapter. Which fun fact are the chords I use when playing it on the piano.
> 
> Love you all, and again I'm sorry!  
> ~Lizzie  
> Blog: SterolineIsLightDOTtumblrDOTcom  
> Playlist: youtubeDOTcom/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jcdtdu7m6_yDVmgTmBFjRR8


	10. You See Me Standing, But I'm Dying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Sarahk: Awe so glad you're enjoying it. Hope this lives up to expectations!

***WARNING* Triggers for self harm and rape *WARNING***

* * *

  _Stone cold, stone cold_

_You see me standing, but I'm dying on the floor_

_Stone cold, stone cold_

_Maybe if I don't cry, I won't feel anymore_

* * *

 

Caroline wasn't sure how long she walked around. She'd abandoned her phone a while ago when it lit up with a text that she wished she had never seen.

Katherine: Don't go near him, or any of us ever again, charity case.

After she read the cursed words, she dropped the device in the street and began running yet again. Her breath came out in bursts, while she sprinted alongside roads before running into the forest. The running seemed to send the demons away, even as echoes remained in her head. Without her control, her feet began taking her in a new direction, but she hardly noticed. Even as her pyjama pants caught on bushes, and the cold cut through her thin top, she never slowed down.

It wasn't until she reached a glass building that she knew all too well, that she finally stopped. Of course her feet took her to Neverland, the one place that she felt the safest, and yet the most dangerous place she could be.

However, she didn't make an effort to move, but instead chose to sit near the small building and lean against a tree. With shaky hands she moved her knees up to her chest, leaned her head against them, and began to weep.

She hated herself for the fact that she was crying, but she really couldn't stop. She felt stupid, used, selfish, and all around a complete failure. She swore to herself that when she moved here, her walls would be up and no one would get past them.

But yet within a few weeks, four people had managed to climb over them, and see her for what she was. They'd seen her at her worst, supported her through it all and although they didn't know the whole story, they had seen enough.

They'd seen her freak out after a gun shot in a movie.

They'd seen her panic after being grabbed by a football player.

They'd seen her run away when faced with a presentation.

She had been an idiot. A stupid, unintelligent, idiot, that had let people see her when she didn't even know them. Worst of all, she had believed them when they said that she was worth it.

The blonde almost wanted to laugh at that. After having it slammed in her head that she was worth nothing, and realizing that she was truly a waste of space, she let people tell her that she meant something. When in the end she knew that Katherine was right, after all, she agreed with everything that Caroline knew.

Of course the group only saw her as a charity case. Of course after everything they were just taking pity on her, she knew that they were. But like the idiot she was, she let herself believe that she actually meant something to them.

_"Do you actually think that I need you?"_

"No" she whispered, pathetically into her knees, as more tears fell.

She could picture him in front of her, staring her down and making her feel so small. The memories of running, screaming, fighting, crying, and wishing that she could be anywhere else, raised their ugly heads.

The silence around her seemed to be closing in, and the thoughts that always remained at the back of her mind, began to come to the forefront. Not for the first time that night, she found herself wishing that there was some music, or voices, or some type of noise to drag her out of the pit that she was falling into.

But wishes don't come true.

_She was hidden in a place very similar to the one she was just sitting in, with tears running down her face, as moonlight hit her from in between trees. Her feet were drawing her backwards, away from the area she had just fled, as she looked around her frantically._

_But it didn't stop her from being grabbed. 16 year old her gasped at the contact before closing her eyes in acceptance of her fate. It was always easier just to let it happen._

_"Running away?" the man inquired behind her. "But the party just started my love."_

_His voice sent shivers of fear down her spine, as he nipped at her neck. She could feel him at the small of her back and already knew where this would lead._

_"Well," she started, trying to cover the shake in her voice, "we haven't exactly been alone for a while. And I could feel your eyes on me."_

_She didn't mention the fact that it had only been two days. Or the fact that she was almost out of makeup to cover up the marks._

_As his hands moved around her sides to cover her chest, her body became a type of shell. Instead of being encaged in his arms she was floating on her back in the ocean. The kisses that ran up and down her neck were just waves in the water, that ran up and down her skin. Moaning in her ear became seagulls cawing up above, and if she closed her eyes, she could almost see the blinding sun._

_This was her happy place._

_The paradise that played in her head when fighting in the real world became a battle that was pointless to participate in. It was her sanctuary, when the item stabbing her in the back wasn't just a knife, and when her arms couldn't stretch in fear of being pulled off. The very utopia that she ran to when the real world felt like a nightmare that she couldn't awake from._

_So as her dress was moved slowly up her thigh, she allowed herself to float and to dream in a place that she was visiting far too often. While the party went on in the distance, she had a party of her own along the beach, and if she tried hard enough the laughing could overpower the tears dripping down her face._

_And so she tried. Tried to ignore the sound of his panting, and the pain in her body, as he rocked her back and forth. She managed to lean on the tree in front of her, while the burning continued, and perhaps if she stayed in her dream land it would all be over soon._

"Where are you angel."

_She was on a warm, noiseless, beach. Not in a forest, but in a heaven made up of sand._

"Caroline, are you hiding out here?"

_Yes she was hiding. Hiding from him in a place that was hers and no one else's, a place that he couldn't ruin. A place where she was safe and warm and protected._

"Show yourself."

_No, she was safe and guarded, with walls at full height. He couldn't get in, she wouldn't let him._

"Caroline!"

The blonde jumped in fright, almost hitting her head against the tree, as she gazed around. She wasn't on the beach, or trapped inside his arms. Instead she was perched against a tree, with air coming out of her lungs in bursts. A faint ringing reverberated in her ears and the hands that had once been wrapped around her knees, were flat on the ground beside her. She could see pools of dark fabric on her pyjama pants from the tears in her eyes with the light from her silver friend.

"Angel?" A man called, and she finally caught a glimpse of him. There was Stefan Salvatore, who had become her knight and pulled her back from the edge yet again. Only this time, he did it without even touching to her.

With a small smile on her face, she began to rise on shaky legs. For she knew that if she went over to him, the panic would go away, and he would support her while her demons drifted away.

She was so close now. So close to the man that looked stunning in a simple pair of sweatpants, with a hoodie overtop. The man that had gotten up in the middle of the night to look for her, his angel. The man that had made her realize that she could live again.

The man that she couldn't go to.

Caroline stopped suddenly, so close to him that five more steps would let her reach him. But as Stefan gazed around the trees, the view of his back changed into an image of the text that Caroline had received from a certain brunette.

Blue eyes widened in fear, as Caroline began backing up the way she came. Katherine's words echoed in her head, as she remembered the fact that she had to stay away. She couldn't go near Stefan or Damon or anyone.

And so once again, she ran.

Ran away from the one person that she needed the most, simply because she knew she wasn't worth it. So even as he called out her name in vain, she continued to flee the seen.

As the sun rays peaked through the branches and hit her golden locks, the path in front of her was blinded by the tears dancing in her eyes. The beach that had once been her sanctuary seemed to mock her inside of her head, as she heard all of the whispers of her past.

_"Ugh gross, look at the new girl."_

Her hair ran across her face, and stuck to the trail that the tears left.

_"No one really sees her though, do they?"_

She slapped it out of the way, while her feet pounded on the forest floor.

_"I'll be impressed if she makes it past the first slide."_

Her body emerged from the forest, while she sprinted towards her destination.

_"Why don't you call someone else little girl, Stefan is busy."_

The door of her house banged on the wall, as she thundered past it.

_"So I stand before you today, not a victim, but as a survivor."_

She scurried up the stairs towards her bathroom.

_"Newsflash Barbie, you can't replace me."_

Her shaky hands grabbed her raiser, and crushed it with her foot.

_"In fact you can't replace anyone."_

More tears cascaded down her skin, as she picked the small piece of metal out of the rubble.

_"You worthless piece of shit."_

With her other hand she yanked up the left side of her shirt.

" _Don't go near him, or any of us ever again, charity case."_

Red rained down the side of her body, while the metal tore open new scars and burned her skin.

She closed her ocean eyes, as if to block out the voices that ran inside of her head. It was like the comments were all joining together to create a pressure that could only be removed with a slice across her body. And although she hated herself for needing this, it was the only release she had.

* * *

 She woke up curled into a ball in the bath some hours later. It seemed that she had passed out from everything going on in her head, but the voices had lessened in volume.

So robotically, she rose from the bath and grabbed her clothes that had been discarded on the floor. Refusing to look at her side, she checked them for any crimson before throwing them in her laundry basket and washing any liquid in the bath down the drain.

Then she walked over to her room and got dressed into some loose clothes, before looking at the time. Her mother had a nightshift the night of the sleepover and it was now ten in the morning, which meant that she would be home soon.

Caroline knew that she was too exhausted to eat, let alone see anyone, so she decided that perhaps she could walk the back streets of town. Maybe if she put her headphones in, she could drown out the noise and simply walk free.

She shook her head at how stupid she sounded.

But after all, she didn't really have any choice, so after grabbing her iPod she walked downstairs. Quickly she searched her bag for her trusty headphones, and then she was gone, away from the scene of the crime.

It was actually quite nice, walking round and pretending that she was normal. As if she was just walking to her friend's house to study, and not hiding from her mother, in fear of disappointment. A part of Caroline did wonder what her mother would say if she ever found out how bad she truly was. Maybe she would get her help, maybe she would disown her, but the blonde really didn't want to find out.

Instead she attempted to be the best daughter she could be, and apologize when she couldn't. And as she waltzed around the back roads, a small smile made its way onto her face. The blonde could picture her mother's smiling eyes in her head and the look of joy in them made her own body feel lighter. Elizabeth meant the entire world to her daughter, and she would move planets for her.

Unfortunately, the planet she was on seemed to be against her.

For the happiness her mother brought distracted her from the world around her. Perhaps if she didn't have her headphones blasting the sound of a piano she would have heard him. Maybe if she was looking around, she would have seen him.

But as it were, she didn't realize what was happening until her back was shoved against the wall by Tyler Lockwood. He had a sickening grin on his face, as he tore out her headphones and dropped them on the ground beside her.

"Little miss Forbes, without her body guards today?" he mocked, spreading his awful breath across her face. "How strange, considering that the group never leave you alone."

Caroline held her breath as he spoke, trying to force herself to stay calm, even as she could feel memories fast approaching. Despite her best efforts, she could already feel herself sinking into the past, as her body, on instinct, began to shut down.

"What? Nothing to say, Freak?" he spat at her, only to see the blank stare that her face held.

From the outside, tears slowly fell down her face, but other than that she was completely rigid and solid. After the last twelve hours, she felt as if she was still a sixteen year old, who had completely resigned herself to her fate. It was as if nothing had changed, and so old instincts cut in. Instincts that said that if she didn't move, it would hurt less.

So as she was solid on the outside, her inside became just as solid, when all it wanted to do was collapse.

"Fine, if you don't make a sound than it's less work for me."

He spoke as if he'd done this before. Cornered a helpless girl in a back ally and forbade them to scream. But as he brandished a pair of scissors it suddenly became apparent that he had, which only frightened her more.

With quick movements he sliced open her shirt, leaving her bra showing and the flimsy cloth covering her sides. Luckily it covered her just enough.

Then he made quick work of her pants by cutting them down the middle and splitting them in half. After that he literally tore off her underwear, and threw it behind him, along with Caroline's pride.

Finally, he seemed to be done, and before the blonde could brace herself, their lips were connected. She felt as if he was chocking her, as his thick tongue forced its way into her mouth and his teeth banged against hers.

Ocean eyes opened desperately to see if there was anyone in sight, but the backroad where she walked was only filled with back doors from stores. No one would come back here, as some of the store weren't even opened yet. More tears drifted down her cheeks at a faster rate, as she realized that this was really it.

She honestly had no escape.

And so, as Tyler continued to kiss her, Caroline closed her eyes and tried to take herself to the beach. But this time the beach didn't appear, instead she was in a large field, placing a picnic table down on the grass.

_"There you are, angel," Stefan greeted, leaning in to kiss her forehead._

_Caroline grinned at him, as she spotted the love that he held in his eyes. He responded with a small smile, before lowering himself onto the blanket. She squealed, while he pulled her down on top of him. His chest shook with his laughter, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear._

_The blush that appeared on her cheeks was automatic, which only made his smile grow because he knew that he caused that. In a response to his smirk the blonde merely rolled her eyes and leaned down to meet his lips in a kiss._

_It was the complete opposite of the kiss that she was actually experiencing, for this one wasn't forceful or painful. No this one was warm and inviting and a kind of dance that they both knew all the steps to._

_It made her feel like a woman and not like a victim._

_"So," Stefan started, as he broke away from the kiss, "would you care to start lunch?"_

_Caroline nodded happily before rising off of him and gazing at the small picnic he'd prepared. It was filled with sandwiches, strawberries, chocolate goodies, and everything else you could want at a picnic. Just like him, it was perfect. But before she could enjoy any of it, she let out a wince._

Caroline tore herself back from the fantasy, as she felt Tyler push his hand firmly into her left side, and hot liquid pour out of the area. He didn't seem to notice, as he moved his hand down to her hip, and the other continued yanking on her hair.

But suddenly, she felt the pressure lift, as he began to unbutton his pants, Desperately, Caroline shut her eyes to force herself back to her sanctuary.

_"Caroline?" Stefan questioned, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine," she smiled. "In fact I'm more than fine. I'm amazing," she cupped his cheek, "and it's all because of you."_

_Stefan grinned back at her, before lovingly holding her hand that held his face. As if he wanted to feel even more of her than he already did._

_"You'll be okay Caroline. I'll always be there to rescue you," he swore to her._

_She smiled, even as her eyes teared up at the thought of her current reality. For she knew how this would end, and it wasn't being rescued by the man sitting in front of her._

_So with desperate movements, she arched forward and wrapped him in her arms. The pair of them embraced, his musky scent surrounding her, even as she felt Tyler's arms ghosting over her body._

_"Thank you," she whispered._

Then the vision went away, as she heard Tyler's gasps, and knew that he was getting ready to enter her. The burning on her side continued, as the rest of her body went numb, and she prepared herself.

But then he was gone.

Without his arms supporting her, Caroline's legs gave out, and she would've hit the ground if a pair of arms didn't catch her. Opening her eyes, Caroline gazed into the brown orbs of one Elena Glibert, who had wrapped Caroline in an embrace. Suddenly another pair of arms joined the first, and as Caroline spotted Bonnie, the three of them all began to cry.

The only difference was that while the other two were crying in a mixture of fear and happiness, all Caroline felt was relief. For once again her friends had come to her rescue, right when she needed them.

"Stefan stop!" Damon yelled, drawing Caroline out of her hypnotic state.

With wild eyes she gazed around for the brothers, only to be met with a sight that she never thought she'd see. Damon was on his feet, trying to pull a struggling Stefan back from a bleeding Tyler. The younger brother's back was facing Caroline, and without realizing what she was doing, she escaped the embrace and literally fell on top of Stefan.

The brunette was kneeling down, and feeling her arm wrapped around him, made him turn around sharply. With Caroline's already weakened state, she didn't stand a chance, and she was flung to the side, landing on the already bleeding incisions.

"Caroline?" Stefan asked, in a voice laced with exhaustion.

She nodded, teary eyed, and smiled as he ran over to her, pulling her into his side. The two of them stayed like that for a while, having the other three join them in a mass embrace. All five of them seemed to sigh in relief at being together again, and if it wasn't for Damon moving his hand into the pile of blood, they may have stayed like that forever.

"Blondie, what, what is this?" Damon questioned, drawing his hand away from her body.

The other three gaped at his hand, as Caroline tried to move away from them to avoid their judging eyes. But even as she scooted back, it was never to run away. She was tired of running from them, especially when she knew that this was where she belonged.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "There was too much pressure, and I just couldn't…"

"You did this to yourself?" Elena gasped, only causing Caroline to cry harder.

But just when everyone seemed frozen, Bonnie began to move. "Okay look, we can deal with this later. Right now we need to get Caroline covered up and get her somewhere safe."

Caroline just glanced up at Stefan, who was staring at her with the most injured expression on his face. She could tell that he was hurt that she didn't go to him, or any of them for that matter, especially when she was so far gone.

But despite his disappointment, he still took off his hoodie, and carefully draped it around her body. It was so big that it went down to the middle of her thigh, covering everything up.

"You'll get blood on it," Caroline reminded him, while taking off the pieces of shirt that still remained.

"I can wash it out," he sent her a small smile. "Where's your underwear and pants."

Caroline glanced at Tyler. "He cut them and threw them away."

"Speaking of the mutt," Damon called, glancing down at the bloody mass. "What are we going to do with him?"

"Take him to the police, obviously," Elena stated, as if it was the only way to go.

Caroline shook her head, standing up, with a little help from Stefan. "No, just take him to the hospital. I'm not going to press charges."

She felt Stefan's eyes on her as she spoke, and she could picture his expression. He would have furrowed eyebrows, an exasperated look on his face, and his hands would be held out as he talked.

"Care, you can't be serious?" he said, and she almost chuckled at how right she was. "Do you not know what he almost did to you? If we wouldn't have shown up when we did, he would have succeeded."

"It's not like it's the first time," Caroline muttered to herself, but unfortunately it was just loud enough that everyone heard it.

"What do you mean?" Bonnie asked, staring at the blonde as if she was a different person.

Caroline opened her mouth, but no words came out as her friends looked at her, completely bewildered. She felt as if every word escaped her, as she realized that she was about to tell them the story.

Her story.

"Look, not here," Elena sighed. "Why don't Damon and I take Tyler to the hospital and we can meet at Care's house."

But the blonde shook her head wildly. Her mom was home, her mom couldn't see her like this, not again, not yet

"Okay, okay," Stefan cooed. "We can go back to our house, no one's home, so we'll be safe." He looked at Caroline. "You can shower, and then…"

But Stefan let his words teeter off, and the blonde knew why. None of her friends knew what would happen after that, and she wasn't truly sure herself, until a few seconds ago.

"Then I'll tell you," she decided, looking at all of them in turn, before staring at Stefan, "I'll tell you everything."

* * *

  _Oh, I'm happy for you_

_Know that I am, even if I_

_Can't understand_

_If happy is her, If happy is her_

_I'm happy for you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, well here we are. At the end of one of the hardest chapters to write, and one of the most emotional chapters to write. I'm going to be honest with you all, and tell you that I spent the longest on this chapter, simply because I needed it to be perfect. This is the chapter before you get all your answers, the chapter before everything gets revealed, and the chapter where we truly see how far Caroline has fallen. 
> 
> My goal of this fic when I started writing it was to make everything as genuine as possible, and I truly focused on that with this chapter. Although saying that, I'm quite proud of it, and I hope you all enjoyed the update. Also please comment/review and tell me what crazy emotions went through your mind. Plus give one final prediction of Caroline's past, but I warn you, it's probably more complex than you think!
> 
> This chapter is based on the song Stone Cold by Demi Lovato. And on a positive note, the next chapter will be the full reveal, and will be accompanied by the song that pretty much inspired this whole fic. So look out for that!
> 
> And thank you, for going on this insane journey with me.  
> ~Lizzie  
> Blog: sterolineislightDOTtumblrDOTcom  
> Playlist: youtubeDOTcom/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jcdtdu7m6_yDVmgTmBFjRR8


	11. Broken Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* Triggers for murder, blood, abuse, name calling.

_And now you've grown up,_

_With this notion that you were to blame_

_And you seem so strong sometimes,_

_But I know that you still feel the same,_

_As that little girl who shined like an angel_

_Even after his lazy heart put you through hell._

* * *

 All she could hear was her heart beat. As she closed her eyes, and released deep breaths, the pounding of her heart beat continued to echo in her head.

However, when she opened her eyes and took in her surroundings she wasn't scared. After all, this was her idea, and she knew that nobody would blame her for backing out. Besides, Caroline could still remember the looks on their face's when she announced that she was ready to tell them, and she couldn't blame them. A part of her was still shocked that she was doing this.

But she thought about it on the drive to the boarding house, while she showered, while she put on clothes, and even when she first sat down in the arm chair that she was currently occupying.

Nevertheless, none of those thoughts made her want to change her mind because she knew that she was ready, and that her friends deserved this.

They deserved the truth.

So with that thought in mind she cleared her throat, and gazed at her friends in turn. From Damon and Elena wrapped up in each other's arms on the couch. To Bonnie, who was on the floor, with her back resting on the couch, her knees drawn up to her chest. Finally, she rested her eyes on Stefan, who was perched on the end of the other arm chair, and who met her stare head on.

"I don't know where to start," Caroline whispered, never breaking his gaze.

"Start from the beginning," Stefan responded, resting his hand on her thigh that was currently covered by a pair of his sweatpants.

His touch sent a comfort to her, and along with the encouraging looks from her friends, she opened her mouth to speak.

"When I was a young child my house was filled with laughter," she began, a smile coming to her face. "If you picture a cheesy 90s sitcom family, that was my house. If one parent cooked the meals, the other did the dishes did the dishes, and through everything we just worked. When one person wanted to do something the other two worked to made it happen. From pizza night on Friday, to chore day on Sunday, we were perfectly happy."

Throughout her speech, Caroline had glanced at everyone in turn, but suddenly she seemed to be drawn to a pull in the rug. Her eyes stayed trained on that spot, as the light in her eyes began to fade.

"Then one day, everything seemed to change. If I was a little older I probably would have seen it as a gradual thing, but the way I experienced it, it was as if a switch had been flicked without me knowing that it even existed."

Her whole body seemed to begin folding in on itself, as she recounted the tale.

* * *

  _It was Friday night, and young Caroline had one eye on the TV show that was playing, and one eye on the front door. Five minutes was how long was left of her wait, until her father returned home and they went to grab dinner._

_Tonight was pizza night, which meant that Caroline and her father would grab the food and get the movie set up at home. Then right before they tried to sneak a piece, her mom would come home and the night would actually begin._

_So at five thirty, Caroline bounded out of her seat and sat cross legged across from the door. Her dad would come through any minute, pick her up, and tell her for the hundredth time that she could just wait for him on the couch. The five year old smiled at the thought, knowing that she would never do such an ordinary thing. For as her father said, she was as extraordinary as a dinosaur with polka dots._

_However, a minute passed and her father never came through the door. Caroline expected that he probably just got hung up at work, so he would be home soon._

_But then five minutes passed._

_Then ten._

_Then twenty._

_By the time thirty minutes went by, and the next show had finished Caroline was stood at one of their windows and staring at the driveway. Her mom usually arrived home at six thirty, and at this rate she would get home before her father did._

_Sure enough six thirty rolled around, and yet again Caroline waited at the door for a parent that never came. At this point she was so terrified that she called her mother, but all she received was a quick speech about how she had to work late from her mother's partner._

_So the small five year old went to the kitchen, got herself a leftover bowl of pasta, and ate it cold. After all, she was too short to use the microwave. Her small hand gripped the house phone tightly before calling her father, something that she was told strictly not to do, but received no answer._

_Not wanting to risk getting in trouble by calling again she decided to set up her bed on the couch, so that she would know when he got home. With an excited look on her face at the brilliant idea, Caroline put away her dishes before bounding up the stairs. With a spring in her step she pulled her blankets down the stairs and set herself up on the couch. She watched the door for another hour before the dull sound of the TV pushed her to a peaceful sleep._

_Inside that sleep her dreams were filled with things that any child should be dreaming of. They contained baked goods, laughter, and just pure happiness. She was used to these dreams, so used to them in fact that she had always taken them for granted._

_However, after this night she would never take them for granted again. As a few hours later, around three in the morning, the sound of a car woke her up from her slumber. A smile appeared on her face at the thought of having her father finally home, and so sporadically she took her rightful place in front of the door._

_But instead of her father coming in and swinging her around as he always did, he slammed open the door. The wood bounced off of the wall, making Caroline flinch and her father sway dangerously._

_"Daddy?" she whispered, feeling as if she should be quite._

_Bill didn't seem to hear her though, as he just stepped past her and began his slow decent up the stairs. Even as his daughter called for him again, he continued putting one foot in front of the other, the railing acting as his anchor._

_The blonde girl stared at him, incredulously, before closing the door and following her father. When she finally reached the man, who was heading straight for bed, she pulled on his shirt desperately._

_"Daddy, Daddy, answer me!" she screamed, tears beginning to blur her vision._

_"Oh, just shut up!" her father screamed back before doing something that she never thought he would do._

_He hit her._

_With the back of his hand, right across the face, making her collapse on the floor. "It's all your fault, you brat!" he yelled for good measure._

_The tears that had been dancing in her eyes began to fall at a rapid pace, as she stared, wide eyed, at the man who used to be her hero. The man in question simply fell into bed and fell asleep in seconds, leaving his daughter sobbing in the corner._

* * *

 Caroline stopped her tale and looked at all of her friends, all of whom had a range of expressions.

Elena was sat there with her hands covering her mouth in a gasp. Bonnie was staring at her blonde friend with a look of sadness in her eyes, as if the event happened to her. Damon was almost emotionless, looking down at his lap, although Caroline could see that his hands were clenched into fists.

And then there was Stefan, who had been gripping her hands throughout her story, and now had his eyebrows permanently furrowed.

"That happened when I was five," Caroline began again, "and continued on for about four years of my life. I didn't realize until a few years later that my father was in fact drunk, but once I figured that out, I began to get concerned."

"Did he hit you a lot?" Elena asked, not being able to help herself. "How could you not tell anyone?"

"Elena," Damon chastised, moving for the first time.

But Caroline held out her hand to the pair, "No it's okay, I want you to ask questions. I want you to understand," she looked at everyone in turn, before looking back to Elena. "As for your question, my father began coming home drunk more and more often, and while he didn't hit me every time, he would if I interfered. So I learned to leave him alone and for a while it worked.

"As for your other question, I never told anyone because to me, my father always knew best, so I always blamed myself. Besides, I also knew that he would never try to hurt me if he was sober, so I just never felt like I should tell anyone."

"How could you blame yourself?" Stefan asked, earnestly.

Caroline gave him a small smile. "Well, he told me that it was my fault. Whenever he was drunk and hit me, he always told me that I deserved it, and so I believed him."

The gang seemed to sink in on themselves, before Bonnie looked up. "Well where was your mom?"

Caroline opened her mouth to speak before she seemed to shudder. At once Stefan grabbed her other hand, as Bonnie tried to take away her question, and the couple on the couch leaned forward. It made the blonde smile at how much they cared.

"She was, she was at work," she admitted in a small voice. "I had to watch in the morning as my mom left for work, sometimes for days at a time, and it was like she was abandoning me. Leaving me to deal with this, this problem."

The whole group seemed to take in this news, and share her feeling of sorrow, and of abandonment. But then after a few minutes of silence, Damon spoke up.

"You said that you hid from your dad, and for a while it worked, when did it not?"

She gave him a sad smile as an answer, before beginning to speak. "I was nine years old, and I had just had the worst four years of my life. I felt as if I was raising myself, by cooking my dinner, packing my lunch, dressing myself, getting myself to school, and really just taking care of myself," she took a breath.

"One day, in May, there was a really bad rainstorm when I was supposed to have a girl scout trip. We stayed out for one night, but came home the next day instead of staying for the rest of the week. As I expected, no parents were there to pick me up, and so I just walked home by myself. But when I walked through the door, I found something I never would have expected. My dad was kissing an old colleague of his named Steven."

* * *

  _Caroline gasped at the scene on the couch, immediately dropping her stuff on the floor. The loud bang seemed to surprise the couple, as they jumped apart._

_For a moment it was completely silent._

_Then the chaos erupted._

_The blonde girl screamed at her father that she would tell her mother how he was a "cheating bum." Bill was cursing his daughter for ruining the best thing that had happened to him, and forbidding her from leaving the house. Steven was trying to reign in the situation, and make everyone talk it out._

_But then Caroline turned around and began to run. She thundered down the street as fast as her little legs could carry her, watching the small town Tennessee sidewalk passing beneath her. However, as fast as she ran, her father and Steven were faster, so on a limb she shot across the street._

_She turned around and it was as if everything was in slow motion._

_Her dad followed her, and was now reaching to grab her. But even as she cowered, she looked past his shoulder to see Steven who was in the middle of the street. There was a screech of tires, then a bang, then a scream._

_Bill cried out, as he ran over to the man that he was just kissing, and now was covered in his own blood. His wails could be heard for miles, as his daughter stared at the couple, her mouth wide open in shock, and guilt flooding her body._

* * *

 "Steven was rushed to the hospital, but was announced dead on arrival," Caroline explained, eyes trained on the pull in the rug. "My father and Steven were involved since I was young, and later I discovered that when everything went downhill my father realized he was gay. He tried to get a divorce, but my mom said no."

"Because of you," Stefan finished for her, making her turn to him. "That's why he blamed you, because he couldn't split with your mom and be with who he loved."

Caroline smiled at him. "That's right, I destroyed his happiness, so he punished me."

Everyone seemed to contemplate what the blonde said for a minute before Damon seemed to get impatient.

"So what happened next?" he asked.

Caroline giggled, even as Elena sent him a disapproving look. She appreciated the fact that even though she was revealing the deepest parts of her, her friends didn't treat her any differently.

"Well, I didn't see him for two weeks," Caroline sighed. "Within those two weeks, my mom was home more often and I was happy, but, but," she let out a breath, trying to stop herself from crying. "But it all changed when my mom had to stay late at work. She was going to bring home dinner for us, so I was waiting for her."

_Caroline could hear the door opening, as she finished placing the cutlery on the table. She smiled, as she made sure it was perfectly straight, just like her mom taught her._

* * *

  _"Okay, so I'm think Bachelor because we mis-" she cut herself off when she spotted her father in the doorway._

_He looked terrible, with greasy hair and dirty clothes. His usual sway accompanied him, making Caroline realize that he was drunk, and he probably had been for the past two weeks. Exhaustion and stress lined his face, making him look like he hadn't slept in days. He looked terrifying._

_"You," he spat, walking towards her. "You killed the man I love for nothing."_

_Caroline backed up, "Daddy, I'm sorry," she cried._

_"Oh, you're sorry," he spat, inching closer and closer. "Well maybe it's time you learned that sorry can't fix everything."_

_He stalked closer to her, and when her back hit the wall she looked around desperately for anything that she could use. She arched for the rolling pin, only for Bill to shove it to the ground, as he stood inches in front of her._

_"Now," he began, his voice filled with danger, "what do you say?"_

_Caroline looked up from the ground to stare into her father's eyes, her own filled with the tears that kept falling. "I'm sorry, Daddy," she replied in a small voice._

_Slap across the face._

_"What do you say?" he asked again._

_This time Caroline said nothing, resulting in a knee to the stomach that made her double over._

_"You filthy brat. What do you say?!" he screamed, even as she fell to her knees._

_"I'm sorry Daddy," she replied, her voice still soft and quiet._

_His reply was another slap across the face._

_The sick game continued with each apology meaning punishment, but each non answer resulting in harsher punishment. Soon he began to reply to her silence with something about her that should be fixed, such as her weight, or her bossiness, or how she is a ruiner. It felt as if it went on for hours, but when all hope seemed lost, a miracle happened._

_Right when Bill was lacing his hands around her neck, to squeeze the air from her lungs, the front door opened. He whipped around to see that Liz had simply walked into the house, a bag of food in one hand._

_"Sorry Care, the line was long-" but then she saw them. She saw her husband standing over her bleeding daughter, with no hope left in her eyes._

_Then, everything seemed to happen at once._

_Liz dropped the food bag, and drew out her gun to aim it at her husband. "Get away from her!" she screamed, not hesitating to pull a bullet into place. But before she could fire, Bill jumped from Caroline to Liz, and held her down._

_The gun slid away, as Bill beat his wife into submission._

_"This is your fault for having her!" he yelled. "Stupid, girly, little Caroline that destroyed everything."_

_The young girl in question sobbed at the scene, wanting to fight for her mother, but not being able to move. Then the glimmer of an object caught her eye._

_Her mother's gun was ten feet away from her._

_She could hear the sick sound of skin slapping skin, as she reached out her unbroken arm. Then she used her bruised legs, and pushed off the ground, the pain making her want to scream._

_"And you're just like your pathetic daughter, a fucking waste of space!"_

_Her lip was bleeding, as she bit it to prevent from screaming out, so she focused on that pain instead of the way her body didn't seem to work anymore. But as she focused all of her attention on that, her hand brushed along something cold, and when she opened her eyes, she grinned at the fact that the gun was held firmly in her grasp._

_"I wish I never would have married such a slut like you!"_

_She moved onto her knees, crying at the pain, and held the gun in her right hand. Fighting to hold it steady, she took one look at the scene in front of her, and knew that this man was not her father._

_So she took a breath, and shot him, once, twice, three times, and he went down._

_Liz pushed him off of her before wrapping her daughter in her arms, and holding her until the tears stopped._

* * *

 The whole room was silent, as a single tear rolled down Caroline's cheek at the memory. She had never told anyone about her father before and not only was she sad because of the memory, but she was also scared that her friends would leave her now.

"You killed your dad?" Elena asked, in a small voice.

Caroline nodded, blinking and making more tears roll down her face.

"So what happened then?" Stefan pushed, stroking her hands, lovingly.

Caroline blew out a breath. "My mother and I got rid of all the evidence before moving to New York. We wanted a fresh start in a big city where no one would know our names, and we would be safe."

"That's why you had to wash your hands the night we washed Ghost," Bonnie suddenly said, not a question, but a statement. "It triggered the memory."

The blonde nodded at her, before reaching up to wipe away the tears. "If you want me to stop, l then I'll stop."

"There's more?" Damon asked, in a voice smaller than anyone had ever heard.

"Yea," Caroline smiled, sadly, "I'm not even at the worst part yet."

The whole group seemed to consider her words for a minute, all of them sighing and thinking quietly to themselves. Then Stefan simply pushed her to stand up, and moved her so that she could sit half on him, and half beside him. It was as if he wanted to offer her support by touching her, and as he stroked the bandages on her left side, she knew that, that was exactly what he was doing.

"If you want to stop you can, but we aren't going anywhere."

Caroline looked around at the group, all of whom nodded their heads, and she felt an encompassing sense of belonging. She knew that this was the group that she needed, just as they needed her.

"I was nine years old when my mother and I moved to New York, and for the next five years everything was good in my life. My mom got a job at the local police station, and I made new friends, and all together a new life. Of course there were some side affects, but my mom pulled together enough money to have me see a professional for an afternoon. That really helped me," she explained.

"What do you mean?" Stefan asked curiously.

"Well as much as I knew that my father deserved what he got, I couldn't get rid of the idea that what he said was true, so my therapist taught me how to deal with the guilt. I was supposed to tell myself that it wasn't true, or write down the words and burn them, or snap an elastic band on my arm."

Caroline lifted up her sleeve, showing the gang the elastic band that was wrapped around her wrist. Everyone gasped at the red welts underneath it, but no one seemed to tell her that they knew better, which she was grateful for.

"So then what happened?" Bonnie pushed.

Damon nodded, "Yea, how did you get from that too-"

But he cut himself off hen he saw the dirty looks from his friends and the look of shame that was cast over the blonde's face.

"How did I get from a girl with a small guilt problem, to a self destructive, self hating, mess of a person?" she asked, ice layering her voice. The whole room gaped at her, as she had finally confirmed what they were scared of knowing. "One name," she said simply, "Klaus Mikaelson."

A shudder passed through her body at the mention of the name, the one name that had haunted her for two years. She could see him, clear as day, the hate in his eyes that mixed with the love to form a sick combination.

She wanted to scream.

"Caroline," was shouted in her ear, and she awoke from her stupor to see that everyone was staring at her wrist. She gazed down in confusion to see that she was in fact scratching away at the skin, forming new red gashes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice layered with tears.

"Caroline," Elena said softly, looking terrified, "what did this man do to you?"

She looked at all of her friends in turn, all of whom were staring at her with a desperate look in their eyes. It was as if they wanted to protect her from the world, and as she gripped Stefan's hands, tightly, she realized that they would.

"He ruined me," she announced simply, deciding to push on with her tale. "I was fourteen, it was my first year of high school, and he was a senior. He was an assistant to my art teacher, and he seemed to take quite the liking to me."

* * *

  _Caroline scoffed as she opened her locker and found another note from the mysterious "N.M.", honestly if this person really liked her they should just come out and say it. She shook her head, as she headed off to art, being the control freak she was, she liked arriving to every class early._

_If she saw a hot teacher's assistant while she was there, that was just a bonus._

_Sure enough, when she arrived she took her seat and watched out of the corner of her eye while he painted. The class didn't start for another twenty minutes, as it was right after lunch, so they were completely alone. Klaus painting, and Caroline writing down random song lyrics in her notebook, trying to describe the way his brush moved._

_"What's with all the sighing Miss Forbes?" Klaus asked, one of the first things he ever said to her._

_She quickly tried to appear nonchalant, as she answered. "I keep getting notes from this weird kid."_

_He turned around suddenly, and within seconds he was standing over her, breathing in the same air. If she wasn't so captivated by his lips, she could count his eyelashes._

_"Do you wish for me to stop sending them?"_

_She widened her eyes in shock. "But, but I," she stuttered. "N.M."_

_"Ah yes, N.M." Klaus answered. "Niklaus Mikaelson happens to be the full name Love."_

_"But why?" she asked, earnestly._

_"Well you're beautiful, you're strong, you're full of light. I enjoy you."_

* * *

  _His reply was nonplussed, as if he hadn't just told her the nicest things in the world. But then the bell rang, and with a wink he was back to painting, leaving her hoping for a note tomorrow._

"That was how he reigned me in," Caroline announced, sitting back as if that made sense.

"What do you mean?" Elena asked, "he sounded sweet."

"Yea, and that's how he got me devoted," Caroline said again, but as she looked at everyone's faces she realized that they had no idea what she meant. "Okay, take Elena and Damon for example. Elena if you ever disappointed Damon, what would you do?"

Elena answered automatically. "I'd apologize and try to make it up to him."

"Exactly, but why is that?"

"I love him," she announced simply.

"But, why?" Caroline pushed.

Elena looked at him for a second. "Because of the way he makes me feel." They shared a sweet kiss, as Caroline grinned.

"Right!" she squealed. "He makes you feel something you've never felt before, because you're safe, an loved, and cared for." Elena nodded back. "Well that's what Klaus did to me. He denied all the things my father said and made me feel loved, except he didn't do it to date me, he did it to devote me to him."

"So that when he did something you didn't like, he could say you would disappoint him if you didn't," Elena finished for her.

Caroline nodded, looking down at the ground at the weight of the memories. She could feel the tension in the room shift, as people began realizing what that meant for Caroline, then suddenly Stefan moved.

Caroline was shoved to the side of the chair, as the man in question paced like a maniac, he looked as if a thousand thoughts raced through his head, before he glanced at Caroline.

"How long?" he asked. "Tell me how long it took him."

It was a demand, and it rang through Caroline's body, with a familiar feeling. The feeling of wanting to obey, or wanting to submit to the command.

"What do you mean?" she question, softly, buying time to shove down memories.

Stefan wasn't him, he wasn't Klaus, he couldn't be Klaus.

"You know what I mean Caroline, tell me!" he screamed.

"Stefan, you're scaring her!" Elena chastised, moving to the blonde in question, who was making herself as small as possible.

Stefan whirled to face Elena. "I'm scaring her? What about him?! Who said that to him?"

"Stefan, stop!" Damon yelled right back at his little brother, separating the young Salvatore and the blonde.

But before anyone could say nothing else, the most unlikely thing happened. Caroline rose from her chair, pushed passed Bonnie and Elena, moved passed Damon and smacked Stefan right across the face.

"You want to know when?" Caroline whispered, as the sound of her slap echoed around the room. "It took him four months to get me completely devoted, and by then it was March. Middle of that month he hit me for the first time, and I made him cookies to apologize. Start of May he had insulted me like my father always had, and to say sorry I stopped writing songs. Middle of May he slept with me for the first time, and to punish myself for saying no to him, I sliced a line in the side of my body."

The whole room went silent, as tears began to slide down Caroline's face.

"It didn't end there," she confessed. "The next year he had taken a year off before starting college to help out with the art teacher, and the abuse continued for another year. After he left for university in England I thought that was it, but he stalked me with my phone and on social media. Every time I got a message I was terrified that it was him with another insult to add to the already too long list.

"Then my mother got a job transfer to the police station in town, and I completely changed everything. I got a new number, deleted all of social media, and guarded myself from him because I was terrified, I still am!" she cried. "So that's when Stefan, that's when."

The whole room seemed to stop for a second at her admission, no one moved and no one breathed.

"Caroline, I'm so sorry," Stefan confessed, pain lacing his voice.

The blonde nodded before surprising herself by jumping into his arms. She held onto him tightly, as the rest of the group came to join the pair, as they all cried. Cried for their blonde friend who had been abused so much that when she was given real love she could hardly recognize it. But she could recognize this love, because she had never wanted to tell anyone her story, but now she had told her friends and they were still here.

She knew that they would be until the end.

* * *

  _Oh, broken angel_

_Were you sad when he crushed all your dreams?_

_Oh broken angel_

_Inside your dying cause you can't believe_

_He would leave you alone and leave you so cold when you were his daughter_

_But the blood in your veins as carry his name turn thinner than water_

_You're just a broken angel_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update folks, but here y'all go! Now you know all of Caroline's past and I hope it was worth the wait. The chapter is named after teh song called Broken Angel by Boyce Avenue
> 
> Let me know what you think! I'm literally updating on the side of the road before going camping lol, so give me nice comments to come back to.
> 
> ~Lizzie
> 
> Blog: sterolineislightDOTtumblrDOTcom  
> Playlist: youtubeDOTcom/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jcdtdu7m6_yDVmgTmBFjRR8


	12. These Hearts Will Be Flooded Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SarahK: I'm really glad that you feel this way, and appreciate the depth with which I'm trying to achieve with Caroline's past. I can assure you that things like Katherine, and Caroline's anxieties will definitely affect Steroline's relationship, and also help it evolve as you've said. I hope that this chapter is worth your excitement and that you enjoy it as much as you did the last. It was lovely to read your comment, thank you!
> 
> Cailyn: Your comment almost made me cry, for real! Whether or not this story is the best fanfiction out there, the fact that you even consider it to be near the top is one of the sweetest things I've ever been told. Thank you for your kind words regarding how I wrote Caroline's past, as I was extremely worried it would come out too fake and not feel genuine. I'm sorry you dealt with anything similar to this, but I'm so happy that my story has touched you in this way. You're the kind of reader, a writer would kill for, and I don't know how I deserve you, but thank you!

_I can taste salt water_

_And if I blink again_

_You'll be sinking in_

_So we'll learn to swim in the oceans you made_

_I'll hold ya and you'll think of him_

_And pretty soon you'll be floating away_

* * *

"So when are you going to tell him?" Damon suddenly asked his blonde friend.

It was a few hours after Caroline had told her story, and everyone had decided to watch a movie at the boarding house. The group all called a couch, and then split off to run some errands before lunch and the movie. Currently, Elena and Bonnie were out grabbing the pizzas, while Stefan showered, leaving Damon and Caroline with the job of getting the movie ready.

"What do you mean?" she answered, focusing on turning on the TV.

Damon began carrying over cups, "When are you going to tell Stefan what caused you to run away?"

Caroline froze for a second, before forcing herself to continue putting the DVD in the player. The truth was that she wondered where Katherine was, but she had just hoped that no one would question what happened. Obviously she was wrong.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she lied. "Nothing really triggered it."

Damon laid out the red solo cups on the table before turning towards her. "Oh, yea I'm sure." He stopped for a second then, watching as Caroline put the disk in the machine before turning to him. "Katherine."

The effect was immediate, as her whole body tensed in a way that she was unprepared for. She could still hear her voice, see the text, and feel her hands on her.

_Charity case._

"Whoa, whoa," Damon cooed, dropping down to his knees and cupping Caroline's face in his hands.

Quickly, she attempted to copy his breathing and force the tears down. All the while she cursed herself for still being affected by the other girl. In reality she knew that the things that Katherine had said were just to be mean, but her past insecurities were still there. They always were.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Damon just shook his head. "No, don't be sorry," he commanded, firmly. "That's not your fault. It's Katherine's for making you feel like shit, and my fault for bringing it up again. That wasn't fair, and I'm sorry, I just want you to be okay."

The blonde nodded before pulling Damon towards her. That's how Stefan found them, on their knees and locked in an embrace that for some reason made his stomach churn.

He cleared his throat, causing the two to pull apart. "Uh, hey," he muttered, running a hand through his still damp hair.

Caroline frowned seeing his awkwardness, before turning her head at the sound of the door opening. When everyone was distracted she quickly wiped away the few tears that had escaped, and smiled as Elena and Bonnie walked in.

"We have an amazing idea!" Elena cried, immediately dumping the pizza on the coffee table before running up to Caroline.

"Elena, remember to ease her into it," Bonnie chastised, already spreading out and opening the boxes. Elena just rolled her eyes at her friend before grabbing Caroline's hands and pulling her onto her feet.

"Bonnie and I were talking in the car about how we are so proud of you for telling us your story this morning," Caroline smiled at that. "But then we were discussing how we wanted you to feel more relaxed all the time, instead of when it's just the five of us. We know that there are different sides of you, just like their is a different side to all of us."

"So," bonnie started, walking over to an excited Elena and a confused Caroline, "we were thinking of ways that we could help you overcome a few obstacles. Even though we know that we may not have that much power, we still want to help you as much as we can."

At that time Elena reached into her bag and pulled out a big notebook and a pen. With a grin on her face she passed the items to Caroline, looking more excited than ever.

"I don't understand," Caroline said, looking down at the objects.

"We want you to make a list."

"Only if you want to," Bonnie cut in.

"Obviously," Elena responded. "Anyway, we want you to make a list of all the things that you stopped doing because of your dad or Klaus. Then one by one you can start doing the things again."

The blonde looked up at them, wide eyed as if she was a deer caught in headlights. All at once all of the looks of warning and hatred that she had ever gotten came together, causing her to almost drop the notebook.

She shook her head violently. "No, no, no," she muttered. "I c-can't. I mean there was a reason I st-stopped. I wasn't good enough, and I shouldn't have, and, and-"

Before she could continue she was wrapped in the familiar arms of Stefan, his musky scent washing over her and immediately creating a sense of calm. Her shoulders relaxed of their own accord, as her panic attack ebbed away.

Before she was ready for him to, Stefan leaned away, still keeping his hands on her shoulders. "Caroline," he spoke, waiting for her to look at him. "You don't have to say if you don't want to. But what would be the first thing on that list?"

Out of her peripheral vision Caroline could see Elena and Bonnie watching her with guilty faces, and suddenly all she wanted them to do was feel better. So with a calming breath she dove into her memories, recalling one of the things that she dearly missed.

"Singing," she whispered so quietly that if the group wasn't staring at her, they may have missed it. "I wasn't allowed to sing."

"Why not," Stefan pushed, tracing small circles into her shoulders.

"Because I used to write music and sing all the time," she replied. "It got annoying and I wasn't good, so they for-forced me to stop."

She stared into his eyes after that, blue mixing with green, as they seemed to communicate without any words. It was as if there was an electric current connecting the two, and Caroline could have sworn that she saw Stefan's eyes drift to her lips.

"We could go to a karaoke bar," Damon said, causing the staring contest to end. "Like if you really want to start regaining confidence again, we could all go and sing, so that you don't necessarily have to sing on your own."

"And then if that works," Elena cut in, "maybe we could tackle something else?"

Everyone looked back at Caroline, at her face that seemed to show an array of emotions. She could still remember singing in her room, while jumping on her bed and the utter joy that came with it. An urge started within her at that moment, a pure desire to feel the sense of freedom that came along with singing.

"You once told me that writing was your thing," she reminded Stefan.

He nodded, "And you said that singing used to be yours."

A small smile appeared on Caroline's face at his words. "I don't want to deny myself that anymore," she looked at her friends. "Let's do it."

The cheers that accompanied her words made Caroline's smile turn into a beam, as she laughed at Elena's happy dance. As they all sat down to eat their pizza and watch the movie before they went to get ready, Caroline looked around at her friends, beginning to realize that without them she would not be as happy as she was in that moment.

So with a grin she grabbed two pieces of pizza, placing them on top of each other with the cheese facing in. Looking up from her greedy creation she saw everyone watching her actions, confusion in their face.

"What?" Caroline asked.

"It's just that we were expecting you to go make a salad or something," Bonnie stated. "Not that this is a bad thing, I'm just a little confused."

But instead of being offended Caroline's smile just got bigger. "Well you said that you wanted me to start doing the things that I stopped doing years ago. And eating badly is something that I haven't done in ages."

With that Caroline shoved the cheesy delight in her mouth, moaning at the taste that she hadn't experienced in forever. The group laughed and cheered, as her eyes seemed to roll into the back of her head.

Stefan was laughing the hardest, going as far as putting another piece of pizza on top of his own. But before he took a bite he stopped and stared at her.

"You've got a little," he almost whispered, as he reached forward and wiped some tomato sauce that was on the edge of her mouth. The rest of the group missed it, as Damon had just switched on the movie, but the blonde could practically cut the tension. Caroline watched as he stuck his thumb in his mouth to lick off the sauce.

"Thanks," she muttered. Stefan just nodded in reply, his eyebrows furrowing, as he began to eat his pizza.

Of course everyone ate way more than Caroline, but she didn't mind. Even if it was a long time before she ate anything bad for her again, at least she had done it once. The pride that swelled in her chest made her feel lighter than air, and later when she went to get changed with Elena and Bonnie that good feeling only seemed to grow.

* * *

A showing of Shrek and three outfit changes later found the gang walking into a small Karaoke bar just outside of Mystic Falls. Damon used his fake ID to get a beer, but the rest of them grabbed either soda or water. It was nice to just sit and talk with her friends, as if seeing a girl performing Britney Spears didn't make Caroline feel like she was going to throw up.

Even though she did feel like she was going to blow chunks at any point.

But she was managing to keep it under control. It might have been because she wanted to get better, or because she was trying to act normal with her friends. But more than likely it was Stefan's hand on her thigh underneath the table, along with his words from an hour ago echoing in her head.

_"Look you don't even have to sing okay? You can just sit there and cheer Damon on as he completely butchers a Maroon 5 song."_

He had said it with such care, as if he could read her mind. As if he knew that she was panicking about being forced onto the stage before she was ready, but then again Stefan was always good at reading her mind.

Apparently he was also good at reading other people's because sure enough, about an hour after sitting down Damon and Elena were called on stage to sing Moves Like Jagger. Of course Elena was amazing when singing all of Christina Aguilera, and although Damon was a little off key sometimes, his enthusiasm really stole the show.

Caroline, Bonnie, and Stefan screamed when the pair were finished, clapping their hands wildly as they headed back to the table. The blonde chuckled at the compliments that Elena received, and the mocking that Damon got in return.

The whole scenario was just so relaxed, and the blonde began to understand that it wasn't really about what the crowd thought, but about your friend's reactions.

These thoughts swirled around her head, as Elena and Bonnie belted out Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, and Stefan and Damon sang along to Livin' On a Prayer. As each new pair went up, her friends seemed to enjoy it more and more, while Caroline started to relax. So much so that eventually she turned to Stefan, grabbed his hand, and pulled him with her to the stage.

"Caroline," Stefan said, pulling on her hand to stop her march. "Are you sure?"

But she just grinned at him. "Stefan if I don't do it now, then I won't do it at all."

He nodded in reply, as Caroline gave the DJ their song, and he instructed them to wait as the current performance finished. That was when Caroline dropped Stefan's hand, and began to play with her own, her bottom lip stuck between her teeth.

All of a sudden her confidence seemed to disappear as memories started to rear their ugly head. Flashes of screaming matches, nervous breakdowns, and mental doubts began to push forward. All she could see was herself crying, and begging him to let her continue to express herself.

_"Please! I love it and I need it, please!"_

But just like it always had, the fight ended with a slap to the face, and a clear "no" that seemed to shake her to the very core.

She couldn't do this. She couldn't do this.

But all of a sudden she was being pushed on stage by the DJ, her knuckles white as her hand gripped the mic. She looked at Stefan with a helpless expression on her face, completely at a loss. As the strumming of a guitar began through the speakers, her breathing became short, and all she wanted to do was run.

But before she could even think about moving, Stefan was cupping her face, making sure that she couldn't even see the crowd. It was just her and him, and as a small smile appeared on his face, Caroline couldn't help but send him an uneasy one in return.

"You got a fast car  
I want a ticket to anywhere  
Maybe we make a deal  
Maybe together we can get somewhere  
Any place is better  
Starting from zero got nothing to lose  
Maybe we'll make something  
Me myself I got nothing to prove"

He sang sweetly, never looking away from her, as if begging her with his eyes to go away with him, move away from her past and go anywhere. The line 'starting from zero' really struck her, because he was right, she was starting from nothing, and with him she could go anywhere.

So as the guitar began to play, she sent him a larger true smile, and never breaking eye contact began to sing.

"You got a fast car  
I got a plan to get us out of here  
I been working at the convenience store  
Managed to save just a little bit of money  
Won't have to drive too far  
Just 'cross the border and into the city  
You and I can both get jobs  
And finally see what it means to be living"

She almost laughed at the look of shock on is face when she began to sing, and her voice floated over the people in the bar. All of a sudden the nerves seemed to fly away, as her body relaxed into its performing stance, as if she'd never left the stage.

So as Stefan's verse came up, she gripped his hand, and turned to face the audience. She smiled at their stunned faces, swallowed her fear, and tapped her foot to the beat while Stefan crooned out his part.

"See my old man's got a problem  
He live with the bottle that's the way it is  
He says his body's too old for working  
His body's too young to look like his  
My mama went off and left him  
She wanted more from life than he could give  
I said somebody's got to take care of him  
So I quit school and that's what I did"

Caroline's eyebrows furrowed, as she saw that Stefan's words seemed to be directed towards his brother, and glancing at Damon she noticed that he was watching the performance with wrapped attention. She mentally told herself to ask the older Salvatore about the song lyrics later, for he seemed to be deep in memories.

"You got a fast car  
Is it fast enough so we can fly away?  
We gotta make a decision  
Leave tonight or live and die this way?"

Caroline smiled, as she finished off the pre chorus, nodding at Stefan to sing the chorus. She let go of his hand halfway through her solo, and braced herself for the chorus itself. All the while trying to force herself to look at the other patrons in the bar, as if staring at them would lessen her panic.

"So remember when we were driving, driving in your car  
Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk"

As Stefan sang, Caroline concentrated on backing him up with some "ohs."

"City lights lay out before us  
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder"

Stefan continued singing, but looked at her with shock covering his face. Caroline just smiled at him, changing to "ahhs" in the background.

"And I had a feeling that I belonged  
I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone"

During the last few lines of the chorus she joined him, creating an upper harmony that had people cheering all over the bar. The smile and small giggle that Caroline released came naturally, as she let herself sink into the music. The remaining panic floated away, as she realized that she was good at this, this was her area.

"You got a fast car  
We go cruising, entertain ourselves  
You still ain't got a job  
And I work in a market as a checkout girl  
I know things will get better  
You'll find work and I'll get promoted  
We'll move out of the shelter  
Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs"

Caroline sung out the next verse, a new found confidence in her, as she let herself sway to the music. At the back of the bar she could see Damon, Bonnie, and Elena, watching her with grins on their faces.

"So remember when we were driving, driving in your car  
Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk  
City lights lay out before us  
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder  
And I had a feeling that I belonged  
I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone"

The next chorus happened the same as the other, with Caroline backing up Stefan, and then complimenting him at the end. All the while, he watched her with eyes filled with a new emotion that she found hard to read.

"You got a fast car  
I got a job that pays all our bills  
You stay out drinking late at the bar  
See more of your friends than you do of your kids  
I'd always hoped for better  
Thought maybe together you and me find it  
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere  
So take your fast car and keep on driving"

Caroline smiled wistfully at Stefan as he sang, almost wishing that her parents didn't immediately come to mind. But of course they did, and for the first time in a long time she was okay that they did. After all, she had Stefan to support her, always.

"So remember when we were driving, driving in your car  
Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk  
City lights lay out before us  
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder  
And I had a feeling that I belonged  
I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone"

Stefan twirled her around throughout the chorus, doing goofy dance moves at the same time just to make her laugh. But she still focused on harmonizing, making sure to finish strong.

"You got a fast car  
Is it fast enough so you can fly away?  
You gotta make a decision  
Leave tonight or live and die this way"

Caroline let Stefan take lead during the final lines, harmonizing with him slightly, as the two returned to the position that they started in. As the final note echoed throughout the bar, Caroline couldn't help but look away from Stefan's gaze shyly. It was as if he was speaking to her.

So as the two descended the staircase, to thunderous applause, Caroline could hardly hear. She just kept hearing that line, "you gotta make a decision," because that was it. It was all up to her, it was up to her to reach out to her friends. It was up to her to tell her story. It was up to her to come up and sing.

As she began to head back to their table, she just stopped moving, because if it was really up to her, than the only person who could move her forward was herself. She could move on, or "live and die this way," never moving or changing.

It was all up to her.

"Angel?" Stefan called, dragging her out of her head. "You coming?"

Caroline however just turned around and looked at the confused DJ. "I'd like to sing again, but an original this time if that's okay," it was the most confident she sounded in ages.

"Well you have to wait in line missy," the man replied.

"Please," she almost begged. "I need to do this, and soon my confidence will go away."

The man looked at her, furrowing his eyebrows before glancing at Stefan behind her. Her friend just sighed, before nodding, which caused the DJ to shrug.

The blonde squealed before yelling for Elena and Bonnie, and nodding at Stefan. Her best friend searched her gaze desperately, before he seemed to find what he needed and headed back to his brother. Caroline blew out a breath before giving Elena and Bonnie a microphone, ignoring their confused faces. With shaky steps she stepped back on stage, the lights seemed to be more blinding than ever.

"Hi guys," Caroline greeted the patrons of the bar, lamely. "I'm Caroline, and this, this is Concrete Wall." The bar was silent, as everyone looked at her confused, but she simply turned back to Elena and Bonnie. "Okay can you guys back me up? You just have to sing 'boom shi clack, clack' over and over."

"Care what's going on?" asked Bonnie desperately.

"Please just let me do this."

Her friends nodded before starting up the vocals together, the small melody that they made washing over the audience, who seemed to relax. Caroline however was anything but, as she forced her hands into fists, hoping that it would stop them from shaking. Blowing out a breath she turned to face the audience once again, closing her eyes, while listening to Elena and Bonnie.

She could picture him in front of her, his curly hair ruffled on top of his head with the amount of times he'd run his hand through it. They were standing in his apartment, looking at each other desperately with a lot more than just space between them.

"What is this all about?  
Settle down please don't yell or shout  
The landlord, he lives downstairs  
We'll get evicted, please don't be too loud"

He was shaking his head at her, yelling at her, as she begged for him to stop, to just be quiet. She could feel the tears making tracks down her cheeks, while she watched him pace up and down.

"You say I'm passive aggressive  
How can I not be, when you're always talking at me?  
You say I'm unresponsive  
And here you are talking over me"

Caroline was calling his name in agony, watching him lose control, as beer bottles were thrown and she was left cowering in a corner. "Klaus, just listen," she screamed, only receive a growl in return.

"You make me wanna throw this shoe right through that concrete wall  
Maybe you should pack your things  
If it's that dreadful  
Then just leave it all"

She could hear them, all of her friends telling her to just leave him, to just go. But all that they knew was that he 'liked it rough,' they didn't know that he liked it so rough that she couldn't breathe half the time. They didn't know that she was running out of makeup because she spent hours covering bruises. They didn't know that she was terrified whenever school ended, and she made her way to the art room.

They didn't know that leaving wasn't an option.

"Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh"

Caroline crooned, finally opening her eyes to stare at the people in the bar, who seemed to be mesmerized.

"Don't wanna keep on sharing my bed  
With someone that I have to love less, and less  
Every time I try to make you smile  
You say that I'm being a child  
Well I tried my best"

It was as if she was explaining to them how he thought, as if she was explaining to not only her friends, but the world what she went through. Suddenly, it was easy, as if all of those times where she spent crying were just things of the past. Talking about them helped her see that she was a different person now, a happier person.

"Say that I need therapy  
Well, my darling so do you  
Don't need for you to tell me  
What is wrong in all I say or do"  
That was true, she didn't need him. All she needed was herself.

"Please don't try to throw this shoe right through that concrete wall  
Maybe you should pack your things  
If its that dreadful  
Then just leave it all"

She smiled then, a true smile that seemed to brighten up the whole room, because she did just that. She left him and all of the baggage that came with him behind, and now she was free, free of him and all of the pain.

"Boom shi clack clack,  
Boom shi clack clack"

She joined in with Bonnie and Elena to finish the song, until the last note faded out, and the audience were on their feet. Some people were brushing back tears, others were clapping like maniacs, but all Caroline could see was Stefan.

He looked so proud of her, his face splitting into the biggest smile she had ever seen. He looked at her like she ruled the world, and for the first time she actually believed him.

* * *

It was hours later, the gang had sang a few more songs before heading back to the boarding house. Bonnie had gone into a room, on a seemingly important phone call, while Elena and Damon had disappeared a little while ago.

That left Caroline and Stefan to laugh the night away by the fire, just talking about everything and nothing. Typical of them they were playing questions, and it was as if no time had passed at all. The pair of them were back at their tree, right after they became partners in history class. All those weeks ago when Caroline was still hiding, and Stefan was trying desperately to play the hero.

"Okay favorite season?" Stefan asked, from his perch on the couch.

Caroline seemed to consider her answer, closing her eyes and rolling over to her back from her stomach that she was just resting on. "Well it used to be summer," she started, "you know with the sun and everything," Caroline let out a laugh. "People used to call me sunshine, because I was literally always happy. But now? Well now it's probably autumn. Not because I'm damaged or something like that, just because it proves that things can end and change, but they're still beautiful."

Stefan nodded, releasing a small smile at the look of seriousness on her face. He could picture her being excited all the time, after all he'd seen some of that the night he watched Shrek at her house. But he liked that she was starting to appreciate how she was now just as much, after all, he thought she was amazing.

"What's your greatest fear?" Caroline asked, expecting him to say something typical like heights.

"Ending up alone," he whispered, straight away, as if he'd thought about it many times in the dead of night.

The blonde sat up then, staring at Stefan with a new look in her eye. She watched, as he trained his eyes on the carpet, his left leg bouncing up and down rapidly. His whole body seemed as tightly strung as a rubber band, and she wouldn't be shocked if he snapped in a second.

With quick movements she scurried from her spot on the floor to the couch, covering his face with her hands, like the support she was giving would drag him out of whatever dark pit he was going in to. She could feel his breathing start to speed up, and she knew that he was deep into memories and a panic attack was on the way. On pure instinct she pulled his face towards her until their foreheads were touching and they were breathing the same air.

"Listen to my breathing," she whispered, forcing herself to breathe deep so that Stefan could match her. They were so close now that when she sucked in air, their chests touched each other.

"Tell me about your song," Stefan replied, breathlessly. "What were you thinking about when you sung it? Distract me."

"I was thinking about him," Caroline confessed. "When I wrote it, it was towards the end, when words were just pouring out of me, and I had no choice but to write them down. I wrote it on a napkin at a cafe, and added it to my song book later," Stefan's breathing was slowing, but his eyes were still closed. "When I was singing it, it was like I was releasing pressure from myself, and for the first time I felt like I was worth something."

Suddenly Stefan's eyes opened, and it was like he was staring into her soul, making butterflies erupt in her stomach.

"You're worth more than you know," he insisted.

His assurance made Caroline smile. "How could you end up alone when you say things like that?"

Then it was as if time froze, and it didn't matter who leaned in first, all that mattered was that the space between them was gone. As their lips moved against each other, it was like Caroline was being cared for in ways that she didn't know were possible. For the first time in a long time her lips were not being crushed or claimed, but caressed softly, as if Stefan was scared that she would break.

She could feel his hands move from his lap, until one rested on her back and one was in her hair. A shiver ran down her spine, as he caressed her golden locks like they were the finest silk in the world. Her own hands moved of their own accord, until they had abandoned his cheeks, and instead wrapped around his neck. It was like she was letting him anchor her down, so she didn't fly up too far.

That's what she was doing, flying.

As fireworks erupted behind her eyes, and sparks flew between the pair, Caroline was rising. Suddenly, she wasn't Caroline Forbes, the girl who was abused and misunderstood. Instead she was just a girl who was kissing a boy that she really liked, and that made her feel invincible.

All too soon the connection was broken, leaving Caroline and Stefan gasping for air, as they stared at each other. A new look seemed to be in Stefan's eyes, and the panic that Caroline was expecting wasn't there.

"One of us should probably say something," she whispered to him, a smile sneaking onto her face.

But then the panic that she expected began to cover his face, as his hands retracted from her body. Then he uttered one word that broke her more than anything else. "Katherine," he muttered.

Caroline was gone within a second, rising from the couch and marching towards the door. She hated herself for feeling vulnerable, for letting herself fall for someone. Tears began to gather in her eyes, but if she could just make it home she knew she would be okay.

"Caroline wait, I'm sorry!" Stefan called, grabbing her arm and making her turn around.

"No Stefan!" Caroline shouted, yanking her arm away from him. "I can't believe you, I can't believe you did that to me," she was crying now, so much that she didn't notice the other three enter the room. "You're afraid you'll end up alone? I'm terrified that I'll never have someone stick around long enough to make me feel like anything but alone!"

"Caroline!" Stefan yelled again, as she turned away.

"Stefan just leave me alo-"

But before she could finish her sentence the front door opened, and a woman entered the room. She held herself in a regal way, with her dark hair twisted up in a tight bun, and her chin held high.

"Honeys I'm home!" she called, smiling the biggest fake smile Caroline had ever seen.

She wiped her tears quickly. "Who are you?" she questioned, her voice small.

"That," Damon said, making himself and the others known, "is our mother."

* * *

_When salted tears won't dry_

_I'll wipe my shirtsleeves_

_Under your eyes_

_These hearts will be flooded tonight_

_I'll wipe my shirtsleeves_

_Under your eyes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Comes out from hiding place*
> 
> Hey guys, long time no see huh? Yea I know, I know, I suck for getting this out so late. I could give you hundreds of excuses about family visiting, and the fact that I was England (on my own) for a month, but you guys don't wanna hear that.
> 
> However, I do hope that this was worth the wait! We have Caroline getting more confident, something going on with Damon's past, and Mrs. Salvatore back in town. Plus we also had that Steroline kiss (FINALLY) that didn't exactly end on a good note. The next chapter is filled with action, and that will come to you a heck of a lot faster than this one did.
> 
> This chapter is titled after the song Shirtsleeves by the genius Ed Sheeren, which of course can be found on the playlist. However, I also made a karaoke playlist so you can listen to all of the songs, especially the two that Caroline sang because they are amazing.
> 
> Please tell me what you thought, and once again I'm sorry!  
> ~Lizzie
> 
> Blog: sterolineislightDOTtumblrDOTcom  
> Playlist: youtubeDOTcom/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jcdtdu7m6_yDVmgTmBFjRR8  
> Karaoke: youtubeDOTcom/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jf2Na5h3OQqDk7OeFbrbiv6


	13. How Could I Miss?

_I've been falling crashing breaking_

_And all the while you were_

_Stood here waiting_

_For me girl_  

* * *

 

He stared at his appearance in the mirror, all clean pressed lines. Of course as soon as his mother came back into town she would throw a party that made wearing a tux necessary. Katherine would love it, as she always did, claiming that seeing Stefan in a "penguin suit" was like an early Christmas present.

He wondered what Caroline would think.

"Still struggling on the tie tying brother?" Damon teased, as he waltzed into the room.

The younger Salvatore looked at him through the reflection, once again beginning the knot that he was taught as a young boy. "I'm pretty sure out of the two of us, mother always preferred my tying skills."

Damon nodded, moving further into the room. "Yes well mother preferred many things of yours over mine, including the person I may add."

Stefan shook his head, his brother had been acting weird for the last few days, colder as if Stefan had done something wrong. But of course he had done nothing of the sort, as their mother had, had them preparing for the ball since she got home late Sunday night.

For the past week Stefan had been going to classes, and hanging out with Katherine, all the while coming home and cleaning the house to his mother's liking. The one good thing was that it was Friday night, meaning that this stupid party could finally be over with.

"So have you talked to Caroline at all this week?" Damon asked, seemingly out of the blue. "I mean I know that she called in sick, which we both know was a lie, but did you call her or even attempt to contact her?"

Stefan looked down, clenching his jaw with the guilt that Damon's words brought. Because he had tried, he really did, but every time he picked up the phone he could just see her face when she yelled at him. The look of utter shame that appeared when he had uttered his girlfriend's name after that kiss.

Then his mother came home, and through all the craziness with that, Caroline managed to flee into the night. He hadn't seen or spoke to her since, and the thought alone made his chest burn.

Damon seemed to sense what he was going to say, because he began speaking again. "Okay, so we both know that you haven't, so do you want to hear my advice?" well he was going to get it anyway. "Pull the ripcord."

"Wait what?" Stefan asked, finally turning to face his brother.

"Well she's not the one, because if she were you wouldn't be hesitating," he gave him a pointed look. "You've been in love Stefan, and setting aside the fact that she's a manipulative bitch, does this feel like that?"

The words were hung in the air between the two brothers. Neither of the them broke the silence, as Damon seem to be searching for something in Stefan's face, while the younger of the two parties was just confused.

"Are you in love with Katherine?" Damon questioned, simply.

"Yes, of course," Stefan replied automatically because that should be his answer.

"Okay. Are you in love with Caroline?"

Stefan opened his mouth to give an answer, then stopped short, making Damon widen his eyes. "I can't-you can't ask me that, she's my best friend."

"That shouldn't change the question," Damon replied. "Do you love her or not?"

Yet again Stefan struggled to answer, his mouth hanging open as pointless as a stalled car on the road. He had no answer, but that itself seemed to be enough of an answer for his brother, who turned around to leave the room.

"Exactly, so let her go."

Stefan watched him, as he began to reach for the door, but at the last minute the brunette ran forward and pulled on Damon's arm making him turn around.

"I'm confused, I thought you liked Caroline," Stefan started.

"I do," Damon replied.

Stefan furrowed his eyebrows, "And you hate Katherine."

"Right again little bro."

"Well then, why are you encouraging me to end it? Why aren't you telling me to go after her?" Stefan began to rant. "Why aren't you telling me that she's a million times better, and that I'm just comfortable with Katherine, and that-"

"Because you don't deserve her Stefan!" Damon yelled, interrupting his brother and effectively silencing him. "She's an incredible girl, a bright light in the sea of dark that she has lived in her entire life. And I love you more than anyone, and I want you to be happy more than anything in the world, but I won't let you mess with her."

Stefan looked at his older brother desperately, the sense of betrayal clear in his face, and anger plain in his voice. "When did you two get so close, that suddenly you know what she needs more than her best friend?"

"Well for starters I saw her this week," Damon began.

"When?" Stefan questioned, more sad now that they had moved from yelling to a normal speaking tone.

"She invited me on Wednesday to come over and talk. Not about you," he added, seeing the look on his brother's face, "it was about me."

_Damon triple checked that he was at the right address when he walked up the door, glancing down at his phone he reread the text that Caroline had sent him for the fourth time._

_Caroline: Hey! I was wondering if you wanted to come over to talk after school, if you aren't busy that is. I'll text you my address._

_He couldn't help but feel a bit worried as he rung the doorbell. After all, it was already Wednesday and Caroline hadn't spoken to anyone in their group, or come to school at all. It didn't take a genius to figure out why, and Damon wasn't sure if he was in the mood to discuss his brother's love life at the moment._

_"Hi," Caroline greeted, when she opened the door. She looked exhausted, with red rimmed eyes and a puffy face, as if she hadn't properly slept for days. "Come on in, I was just cleaning up a little bit."_

_A low whistle escaped Damon's mouth, as he went through the door and took off his shoes. There was cleaning supplies everywhere, and the place looked spotless, not a hair out of place._

_"Yea, sorry the place really needed a good dust," Caroline explained, moving clothes off the couch so that they could sit._

_"Looks like it needed more than just that," Damon answered, sitting beside her. "You trying to distract yourself Goldielocks?"_

_Caroline rolled her eyes, "When are you gonna stop with these nicknames?"_

_It was a subject change, and they both knew it. Damon was about to call her out on it, until he looked at Caroline's face again, so raw and real, and he didn't want to cause her even more pain. So he simply went along with it, and by the grateful look on Caroline's face, he knew that he made the right decision._

_"Hmm, never," they both chuckled, "now tell me what you wanted to discuss Blondie."_

_She bit her lip, looking away from her friend and glancing at the floor. Damon watched as she played with a loose thread on the couch cushion, all the while preparing himself to defend his brother._

_He could say that Stefan was confused about him and Katherine, and that he was thinking it over. Or he could say that he hadn't even meant to kiss her since they were friends. Or he could say that Stefan didn't regret it at all and that he was going to pick Caroline, like Damon wanted him to._

_"What happened with your parents when you were a kid?" Caroline asked, finally looking back at Damon._

_"Wait, what?" Damon replied, shock radiating around his voice. After all, he expected to discuss the mess that his brother had caused, not the mess that was his childhood._

_Caroline giggled at his surprise before she schooled her expression back into one of seriousness. "Well I mean your mom randomly appears out of the blue, and I know that you're older because obviously it's just you and Stefan, but you are still in high school. Plus, there was that thing that happened at karaoke."_

_"What thing?" Damon shrieked, still a bit shocked that Caroline had been paying that much attention to someone else while she was still trying to fix her own problems._

_"Well when Stefan sang the line about the mom leaving and the kid looking after the dad, you seemed very… concentrated if that makes sense."_

_Damon shook his head, a smile coming to his face despite his confusion. "You are something else Miss Forbes."_

_He received a grin in return, as he tried to decide whether or not he was ready to tell Caroline. Elena and Bonnie knew of course, being his girlfriend and best friend, but with all the stuff that Caroline was dealing with, he didn't want to add to her already shaky pile._

_"Look I get it if you don't want to tell me yet," Caroline assured him. "But I want to be a better friend, and I want to help."_

_Damon look at her then, really looked at her. Not as a girl that was abused when she was younger, or as a girl that liked his brother. No he looked at her as Caroline, as his friend that wanted to help him so badly that she called him over to her house._

_How could he not tell her?_

_"When did Stefan tell you that our father died?" Damon asked, making Caroline smile because he was opening up to her._

_"He said that it happened when he was quite young."_

_Damon let out a breath. "Well that's sort of true I guess. So basically Stefan is 16, same as you, Bonnie, and Elena. But I'm 19, and I'm still a senior," Caroline nodded, her whole body facing him for the story. "When Stefan was 12 our dad got really sick, and it was really hard because he had to quit his job, and so my parents were super stressed about money. Now they always fought, but suddenly it got really serious, and one day our mom was just gone."_

_Caroline let out a gasp, automatically reaching out to grab Damon's hand. "Even when your dad was sick, she just left you two to deal with it?"_

_Damon nodded, trying not to let any of the tears slip that had collected in his eye, he would never cry about what happened, not again._

_He cleared his throat, "I was 16 by the time she left, so I was able to drive my dad to doctors appointments, and grab groceries, and work so that we could stay on our feet. Obviously, we come from old money, so we weren't that desperate, but we didn't want to dip into our savings quite so much."_

_"But then you missed too much school," Caroline finished for him, beginning to understand._

_"Yep," Damon confirmed, popping the 'p'. "My dad died quite soon after he was diagnosed, but I couldn't save my grades after that, so I was pushed back a year, which is why I'm still in high school."_

_"But what about your mom?" Caroline questioned, confusion written all over her face. "She came back, and clearly this wasn't the first time that you've seen her over the last three years."_

_"She came back the day before our father's funeral, claiming that she left to try to find a doctor that would cure his cancer," he let out a humourless laugh. "What a liar. And ever since then she'll come back periodically from travelling with her amazing friends, just to show that we have a guardian. But it's mostly just me and Stefan now."_

_Caroline couldn't help what she did next, as she simply sunk into Damon. In the end, he was slouching with the blonde laying on his chest, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. There was nothing romantic about it, but rather a platonic show of support, that they both seemed to need._

_"I think apart of Stefan believes her you know, even now," Damon said, quietly. "He never heard the fight that happened the night before she left, I mean it shook walls."_

_Caroline could remember the fights that her parents would have, back when she was young. Sometimes they were just small yelling matches, or long ones that consisted of whispered jabs. But she knew the types of fights that Damon was talking about, the never-ending ones where both parents said the worst thing that they could about the other._

_She always cried the hardest during those._

_"I never told Stefan about the fight, because I didn't want his vision of our mother tarnished, but now I kind of wished I had. He's just so naive," Damon admitted, wishing it wasn't true, but knowing that it was._

_"I kind of like that about him," Caroline whispered, as if it was a secret that she was revealing. "He's not an idiot, but he has this innocence about him that makes me happy, because he's the first person in a long time that has seen me as just me."_

_Damon smiled, "You really like him huh?"_

_Caroline held back the tears, as she nodded against his chest, "yea I really do."_

Stefan stared at Damon after he finished telling the story, not knowing whether he wanted to punch him or hug him. So instead he just stood there, wondering how it was that his brother had told Caroline that story before he did.

Damon smiled despite himself, Stefan and Caroline were so similar when they found something out, just staring as they protested the new information. Of course all that he told Stefan was what happened before they started talking about him, he wouldn't do that to Caroline because he wasn't that much of an asshole.

Usually.

"So what's your point?" Stefan asked, seemingly going back to acting like he didn't care.

"My point is that a girl who just revealed that she has been abused her whole life, and who just got rejected by the guy that she likes, decided to reach out to help me with my problems," Damon answered, tiredly. "My point is that she's remarkable."

"She likes me?" Stefan whispered.

Damon actually groaned then. "Oh my god Stefan, seriously? That girl is fucking crazy about you, and you have the audacity to pretend that you don't know?! Never mind the fact that she's been going through so much shit for the past few weeks, and while all of that was going on she had to deal with your relationship. Not to mention why she had that breakdown in the first place-"

"Wait," Stefan snapped, cutting him off. "What are you talking about? You know why she had that breakdown?"

Damon didn't even have time to school his expression, letting out an unconvincing "No."

Stefan looked furious, "Damon I swear if you don't-"

"Time for the party!" Lilly called, waltzing into the room. Then she took a look at her sons, who were stood far apart with clenched fists, as if they were about to knock each other out. "What is going on in here?"

"Nothing," Damon said, before Stefan could talk. "We were just getting ready to go and greet the guests, lead the way mother."

Stefan caught the side of a fake smile before his older brother pulled his mother out of the room. He let out a breath of air then, preparing himself to go downstairs and face all the guests, including his friends. A part of him just wished that he could leave and hang out with a certain blonde, it would definitely be more enjoyable.

"Steffy, come on!" Damon yelled from downstairs.

The brunette shook his head of those silly thoughts, fixing his tie one last time before exiting the room.

* * *

It was halfway through the party, and Stefan was absolutely exhausted. His mother had seemed to invite all of the town, as well as people from her work, and the friends that she travels with all the time.

Unfortunately for him, his mother had made him talk to her friends a lot, claiming that he needed to know her "other family," which just made him uncomfortable. Especially considering that one of them was mute, two of them looked like they were about to rip each other's clothes off, and the last looked like they wanted to rip his clothes off.

The good thing was that he had all of his friends with him, and they were at least making this night slightly more bearable. While he was shuffling awkwardly with Katherine (he never did like dancing), he took the opportunity to watch Bonnie and Elena dance with their men.

It seemed that Bonnie and a certain englishman had grown closer over the last few weeks, and Stefan was happy for them. In his opinion Bonnie deserved the greatest relationship in the world, and as long as Enzo didn't break her heart, there would be no problem. And if he did? Well the Salvatore brothers would take care of that.

Speaking of the other brother, he had hardly spoken to Stefan all night, let alone Lilly's friends. It seemed like he was still dwelling on their conversation before, but Stefan couldn't really blame him, as he was too.

The slow song that the band was playing came to an end, and Stefan couldn't help but let out a relieved breath, as he and his friends abandoned the dance floor. Katherine was grinning, as he led her to the side, swinging around her tight red dress that seemed like it dripped blood.

Stefan didn't hate the dress, but he hardly thought anything when she appeared in it. He hadn't really felt a lot with Katherine lately though, and that scared him more than it should.

"Well this is fun," Elena announced, sarcastically.

Bonnie nodded, playing with Enzo's hand that she held. "Oh yes, I do love dancing to terrible music, in an uncomfortable dress, surrounded by stuffy people."

Katherine rolled her eyes, "Guys, we should be thankful that Lilly even invited us to this event, this is the most exciting thing that has happened to this town in ages."

"Oh give it a rest Katherine," Damon groaned, out of the blue.

Stefan furrowed his eyebrows at his brother, along with everyone else as they all seemed to be confused by Damon's sudden contempt towards Katherine. Since the weekend he hadn't called her nicknames, joked with her, or even spoke to her at all. It was like he knew something that the rest of them didn't.

"Katherine, would you come here for a minute dear?" Lilly called, from her annoying group of friends, after all she did always favor Katherine over anyone, even Stefan.

"Of course Lilly," the brunette replied, but before she left she turned to her boyfriend. "Thanks for defending me Stefan," she snapped, and then she was gone.

Stefan just let out another sigh, before grabbing a glass of punch, and taking a sip, really just to have something to do other than stand there like an idiot. This seemed to be happening to him more and more whenever he was with Katherine, it was like they couldn't talk like they used to anymore, as if there was a sudden gap between them.

"Well," Bonnie began, then trailed off, as the five of them stood in a small circle in silence. Listening to the band drone on, and people engage in mindless small talk. Stefan couldn't help but think that they were all complaining about problems that didn't matter, because they weren't real.

"You know if Caroline was here right now, we wouldn't all be standing here doing nothing," Elena suddenly admitted, glancing around at the group.

Bonnie laughed, "She wouldn't let us, do you remember what happened on Thursday?"

Elena nodded, as they bother giggled, even as Stefan glanced at them in confusion. "Thursday?"

"Yea we went round to her house to do homework, when suddenly this weird song came on the radio. Bonnie was about to change the channel, when Caroline shrieked and demanded that we danced with her," Elena laughed, smiling at the story.

_The three girls were laid on Caroline's bedroom floor, with homework spread across the room. Elena and Bonnie had promised to bring the work to Caroline all week, since she wasn't exactly ready to face the outside world yet, and she couldn't be more thankful._

_"So you know, Stefan and Damon's mom is throwing a party on Friday," Bonnie admitted, looking at Caroline, who was staring at her textbook resolutely. "You want to come with us?"_

_Caroline smiled at the hope that traced Bonnie's voice, but simply shook her head. "I don't really think I can stand being in a room of people that don't really understand me, plus Stefan will be there, and I am avoiding."_

_The other two girls nodded their heads in understanding before focusing back on their work, so that they could at least try to get something done. It wasn't until a little while later, that the radio playing in the background began to croon an odd sort of tune._

_"What the hell is that?" Elena asked, glancing at the desk where the radio was sitting, behind Bonnie._

_Bonnie shrugged, getting off of her stomach so that she could turn the music up a bit and hear what the song was. She was about to go to a different channel, when Caroline let out a shriek._

_"Oh my gosh, turn it up, I love this song! I haven't heard this in forever!"_

_Before either of the other girls were ready, Caroline had gotten up, and began throwing all of their homework under her bed or onto her desk. Elena and Bonnie, just stood there, in a state of confusion, until the song picked up speed, and then they were dancing._

_Caroline had simply begun jumping around the room, and the other two had no choice to join in, as her energy was infectious. Together the three girls climbed on the bed, and jumped wildly, laughing flowing around them like a warm blanket._

_"I need home for a rest," Caroline called, along with the song._

_"TAKE ME HOME!" Bonnie and Elena yelled back._

_Then suddenly the music morphed into something more akin to a Irish line dancing song. So Caroline immediately dragged her friends off of the bed, and pulled them to the floor to wrap her arms around them. Before Bonnie and Elena knew what they were doing, they were swinging each other around wildly, giggling the whole way._

_By the time that the song came to an end, all three girls were breathing heavily, but the smiles on their faces could blind a whole army. The three of them all collapsed on the floor, back in their original places, but a lot happier than they were._

_"How do you even know that song?" Bonnie asked, equally shocked and impressed._

_Caroline smiled, "They are a Canadian group, and my mom used to be a fan, so when they went on tour we saw them at a little bar when I was like 12. It was very irresponsible, and I have no idea how I got in, but I loved it."_

_Bonnie and Elena laughed at that, before shaking their heads at Caroline's antics, both of them thinking the same thing. How could Stefan choose Katherine over her?_

"Yea if Care was here we wouldn't be bored, we never are with her," Bonnie claimed, almost wistfully.

"I've only had one conversation with her," Enzo began, "but she got us together, and I will always be grateful for that." He smiled at Bonnie, before placing a loving kiss on her head.

"I do know this, if Caroline Forbes was here right now, we would all be laughing," Stefan said, making everyone nod their heads.

And that was the truth wasn't it? Ever since that blonde fireball had entered his life, Stefan had loved every second of every day, as long as he got to see her. Even when he saw her for the first time in that hallways, looking as if she would buckle under the pressure he knew that she was special, and she was, she still is.

"Alright ready to dance?" Katherine asked, sliding back into the group.

But Stefan wasn't listening, as he replayed every laugh, every smile, every touch. How could he have missed it? Was he really that oblivious?

"Stefan?"

"Umm, no I, I have to go," Stefan whispered, pushing away from Katherine and his friends.

But as he approached the front door, his hand was grabbed and he was yanked around. "If you're going to see her, then we are done Stefan," Katherine spat in his face. "Don't think that I don't know what's going on because I do, and if you choose her right now then there is no us."

"Katherine, I don't think there's been an us for a long time," Stefan admitted, before pulling his hand away from her and exiting his house.

He could hear her complaining behind him, but he didn't stop walking towards his car because he knew that it was true. He and Katherine had been on and off for years, and he knew that a part of him would aways love her, as he told Damon. But he didn't think that he'd been _in_ love with her for a long time, he was just used to having someone at his side.

And then came in Caroline Forbes, a 5 foot 7 ball of sunshine and rainbows, who seemed to remind him of what he had been missing. Of what he always craved.

A smile came upon his face, as he took off his tie, and started his engine, to drive to her house, all the while recalling moments from the last few weeks.

_He was in the hallways and whispering to the new girl, "Take my hand," he held out his palm and she took his hand. Slowly, he pulled on her hand, until her palm was flat against the middle of his chest. "Like me, in and out. In and out."_

_He had his back to her, as he put a blockage between Caroline and his team mates, he turned his head, just a fraction and whispered, "When the time comes, run."_

_They were under their tree, playing questions "I used to sing," she admitted, in a small voice. "All around the house, it drove my mom nuts," she let out a giggle, before frowning. "I don't know why I told you that." But he wanted her to tell her everything, he wanted to help_

_They were in the bathroom, after watching ghost and he was holding her raging body "I won't let anything happen to you. I won't let anything happen to you," Stefan swore to her, and he knew that he would always keep that promise._

_He was showing her Neverland, "You can use this place, as your sanctuary," he vowed, not realizing that he never told anyone that before._

_They had just finished their presentation, "We did it," she laughed, and he grinned back, feeling pride flood his body at how well she did._

_He was at her house after watching Shrek, and he almost wanted to kiss her, just to make her forget about that awful presentation. "Stefan, thanks for this. Also, thanks for tonight," she said sincerely. "I needed you, I just didn't know how to ask." She didn't have to ask, he would always be there for her._

_He got a call from Elena saying that Caroline ran away, and he went into the night without another thought. They had to find her and make sure she was okay, because if she wasn't, he didn't know what he would do._

_Blood was pouring from Tyler's face, but he just wanted to make more appear. How could he do that to Caroline? To_ his _Caroline?_

_The slap that burned across his face was a small price to pay for those awful things that he said to her, but he couldn't help it. If he ever met Klaus, he would kill him._

_They were finally kissing and it was as if every moment in his life lead up to this. If he never got anything in the world but this, it would be worth it. She was worth it._

Stefan was surrounded by memories, as he stood on her front porch. He shifted from side to side, as tried to conjure up something to say, but before he thought of anything he rang the doorbell. He just needed to see her, just needed to see her face after being deprived of it for nearly a week.

She was smiling when she opened the door, but it fell into a guarded look when she saw him, and he hated it.

"Hey," she greeted simply.

"Hey."

* * *

  _Oh and the answer well_

_Who would have guessed_

_Could be something as simple as this?_

_God knows how I could have missed_

_Something as simple as this_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liz is actually updating? What is this?! Yea I know that I've been terrible with this update, but it's finally out and they should be A LOT more consistent coming up here.
> 
> Anyway, we get a look inside Stefan's head in this chapter, as well as an idea as to how he's felt throughout the fic. The poor boy was just very used to Katherine, and we all know how oblivious he can be. However, we saw that he finally went to talk to Caroline, so hopefully we will get some progress there! Also this chapter was titled after the song titled Simple As This by Jake Bugg, and sort of represents Stefan's ah ha moment at the end.
> 
> And nows the time that I give you a massive thank you for sticking with me through all the ups and downs with updating and even the storyline itself. It means more to me then you will ever know, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
> 
> Till next time.  
> ~Lizzie  
> Blog: sterolineislightDOTtumblrDOTcom  
> Playlist: youtubeDOTcom/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jcdtdu7m6_yDVmgTmBFjRR8


	14. I'm Finally Waking Up

_I'm finally waking up  
_ _I'm finally waking up, I know  
_ _I'm finally waking up  
_ _(I'm waking, I'm waking)  
_ _I'm finally waking up, I know_

* * *

 

They stood there, face-to-face. Neither moved or spoke as they drank each other in, it seemed as if time itself had frozen.

Eventually, after what seemed like hours, although it had probably only been a few seconds, the awkward silence became too much for the blonde. "So umm what are you doing-"

"Do you want to get out of here?" Stefan interrupted, surprisingly himself and the girl in front of him.

"What?"

Stefan let out a smile at the exasperated tone of Caroline's voice. "Do you want to hop in my car, and drive until we see the sun come up?"

Caroline gaped at him, her thoughts moving a million miles a minute. She looked down at his undone tie and wrinkled suit, that still made him look stunning. He must have left his mother's party to come and see her. The thought made her smile in spite of herself.

"Stefan you can't just come here and expect me to go off with you," she exclaimed, exasperated.

"Why not?" Stefan replied, smiling roguishly. "Why can't we just go?"

Saying no would be the smart thing, the right thing, and the safest thing to do. She could yell at him to go away, slam the door in his face, or simply shake her head.

Those were the smart options, so of course she went the opposite route to them all.

"Okay," she agreed, nodding her head as she spoke. "Just let me grab my jacket, and leave a note for my mom, just in case she comes back from the station early. Then we can go."

Stefan beamed at her, making her give one in return before entering her house. When she came back out she had changed out of her pjs into some leggings and a t-shirt with an old sweatshirt over top.

"Wow," Stefan whispered, watching Caroline lock up her house before turning to him.

She furrowed her eyebrows, "What?"

He shook his head at how stupid he had been all this time. Looking at her now, in simple attire that made her look even more gorgeous he had no idea how he'd missed it. Missed the rapid beating of his heart, the way his palms grew sweaty, and the warmness that seemed to fill his body.

"Nothing," he replied. Caroline gave him her I-know-you're-hiding-something look, but let him keep his secret.

Together the couple strolled over to Stefan's car, each clambering in their sides, and sitting comfortably in the other's presence. There was no need for the radio, or for any words, as the two of them basked in the other's aura after not seeing each other for a week.

Caroline was staring out the window, watching lazily as the town flew by the car. While she was distracting herself, Stefan was stealing glances other every few seconds. He watched as the moon lit up the halo on top of her head, creating an ethereal glow around her body.

God she was stunning.

The comfortable silence lasted until Stefan exited Mystic Falls and reached a split in the road. There were no other cars on the road at this time of night, so he stopped his car in front of the turns, and moved to face the blonde.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Don't you know where we're going?"

"Well even though I know this goes against your control freak tendencies," he teased, making her roll her eyes, "I figured we'd pick a direction and see what we find."

Caroline widened her eyes, before looking back and forth between the roads. The first led South, towards her grandparents old house. She knew that area because her father would sometimes ship her off there during school holidays when she was young, just to be rid of her. But the other road headed North, to a side of Virginia that she'd never been.

Of course the first one was the safest, it was the road she knew.

"Let's go that way," she suggested, gesturing to the second road, feeling a slight bit of confidence enter her body. Simply because with Stefan beside her, she couldn't worry about not knowing something, as he would be with her no matter what. She knew that even now.

Stefan nodded his head before turning the car and heading up North. He drove easily, the moon lighting up their path, as cool air drifted into the car through the cracked windows. After a while Caroline plugged in her phone, singing quietly to herself.

The brunette grinned at how much progress his companion had made in the short time that she lived in Mystic Falls. Before she came into his life, Stefan knew that she hardly sang in front of anyone, but now she was doing just that without even realizing it. It made him want to join in.

And so he did. It was terrible and off key, and Caroline laughed her head off, but it made her laugh so it was worth it. Besides once she caught her breath, Caroline joined Stefan in the terrible singing, and soon the pair of them could make any pair of ears bleed. But it didn't matter because it was just them, and they were having fun.

At around 3 in the morning, they had to stop for gas. So Stefan filled up the tank, whilst Caroline grabbed as many sugary foods and drinks as she could. Meaning that the rest of the journey included greasy fingers, remnants of sugar everywhere, and Coke that always seemed to be flat.

Their singing didn't continue, but instead they seemed to go back to their childhood, as games such as 'would you rather' passed their time. Stefan stumped Caroline during eye spy ("Stefan a pebble is a rock!"), but she got him back with 20 questions ("Oh come on, how was I supposed to know it was a red panda instead of a normal one?"), and throughout it all they had a blast.

They were going through another killer rendition of Sweet Caroline, which became even better since Caroline stopped rolling her eyes, when Stefan suddenly pulled off the road. Caroline let out a screech, as they barrelled down a tiny dirt road. They seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. There was a small forest to their left and a of couple houses scattered throughout the fields, but other than that they were alone.

"Stefan where are we going?" Caroline yelled, giggling despite herself. The brunette didn't answer, as they stumbled over hills and through fields. Caroline gazed at Stefan, who seemed to be on a mission, grinning as he drove with such concentration. She only turned away when he suddenly stopped the car, right beside the road on the peak of a hill.

"Alright, let's go," Stefan announced, cutting the engine, getting out of the car and motioning for Caroline to do the same. After stretching his legs for a second, Stefan clambered onto the hood of his car and leaned back against the windshield.

Caroline furrowed her eyebrows, "What are you doing? Won't your car get dirty?"

"Yea probably," Stefan shrugged, making Caroline gape at how relaxed he was about it, since he loved his car so much, "it needs to be washed anyway. Besides when was the last time you properly watched the sunrise?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but closed it again after a time. Her eyes were drawn from Stefan's open and inviting face, to the lightest part of the sky. As the colours arced through the sky, just above the line of the horizon, Caroline was brought back to her first day at school in Mystic Falls. She could still remember glancing out the window to see the morning sun, and shaking her head at how naive she used to be.

Now here she was, climbing on top of a car with the help from a guy who she was crazy about. If the old her would've seen her now, she would have been shocked, after all Caroline still was.

But as she pulled herself beside the boy next to her she wasn't scared. Even with after everything she'd been through, and the drama with Stefan, she would never be worried about her own safety. Not with him.

Stefan let out a low whistle under his breath, as the pair of them watched the sky. From their vantage point they were looking down upon a small farming community. With more and more light climbing into the sky, they were able to spot the few people that were awake and beginning to work in the fields. But other than that it was just them, and it was as if the world had simply stopped moving.

"I can't believe you told me your favorite time of day was at sunset," Stefan sighed, "this seems so much more incredible."

Caroline looked at him then, shock covering her face, "You remember that?"

"I remember everything," Stefan whispered, as if not wanting to disturb the quiet of the earth. He turned to her, smiling at the matching beam on her face.

Caroline giggled despite herself, moving to bite her lip as their faces became closer together. Their foreheads were about to touch when she turned away, alarms blasting in her head with their proximity. She tried to ignore how Stefan looked down in sadness, as she attempted to hastily change the subject.

She cleared her throat awkwardly. "You know I used to like the sunrise. In fact, sometimes when I was a little girl and my parents had a massive argument, I would set an alarm or just stay up until the sun rose. I would love to just sit there and see a new day begin because I was so sure that it couldn't get any worse."

"What happened?" Stefan asked, still looking at the blonde next to him.

"It got worse," she answered simply, blinking rapidly to get rid of the tears forming in her eyes.

Stefan, without thinking about the consequences rested his hand on her thigh. Through the thin material of her leggings, Caroline felt the heat of his hand which sent electrical currents through her body. Alarms once again screamed in her head, as she turned towards the brunette, everything inside her screaming to remove his hand and run.

"I won't let it get worse," Stefan swore to her, but Caroline tried to push off his hand.

"Stefan you can't just-"

"I broke up with her."

Caroline stopped trying to move away from him, allowing his hand to go back in its spot, as she looked up at him. "You what?"

"I umm," Stefan cleared his throat, trying to banish the nerves that suddenly appeared. "I broke up with Katherine."

"Why?" Caroline asked, meeting his eyes, as if trying to decide if he was telling the truth.

Stefan turned so that his whole body was facing her. Suddenly, the sunrise that was the reason that they arrived was their background. Even though Caroline's body was still facing the view, her upper body was completely turned to the person sat beside her.

"Well for a few reasons," Stefan began. "First we've been growing apart for a while, we hardly agree on anything anymore. To be honest I think I was just with her because I was used to having her their, it was normal. I'll always love her, but am I _in_ love with her? No, no I don't think so."

Caroline took his hand that was resting on her thigh, offering him some support through her touch. Even though he didn't seem to be hurt by the breakup, she knew it would be tough, especially since they'd been together for so long.

"Well I'm glad that you realized that," she admitted. "I get that it would've been hard after all this time, but good for you."

She couldn't stop herself from turning away after she spoke. As if looking at him for too long would cause her to do something that she shouldn't. Like lean forward and kiss him.

However, she did turn to him when his body began to shake with laughter. "What's so funny?" she asked, confusion lacing her voice.

"Nothing, nothing," Stefan tried to suppress his chuckles. "It's just that you're so worried about comforting me that you didn't even let me tell you the biggest reason for breaking up with her."

"Well, what was it?" Caroline's voice was small, as if she was scared of the answer.

Stefan cupped her face with the hand that wasn't holding Caroline's. "It was you Caroline. You were the reason."

The shock was written all over Caroline's face, with a little bit of apprehension residing in her eyes. Of course she hoped that he may feel the same, but there was no way that, that could be true. So did he find out about the reason for her breakdown? Did he think that she couldn't handle seeing Katherine? Did he hate her?

"What-what do you mean?"

Stefan smiled at her, taking her hesitance as a sign of nervousness over the fact that he felt the same way. To him it was obvious what he was talking about, and he supposed that she just wanted reassurance.

"I don't know how I didn't see it before," he laughed quietly. "It was right there the whole time and I was so oblivious to it."

But he stopped talking then because Caroline was crying. Full eyed, body shaking sobs that made it look as if her body had complete control over her, and she was a mere guest. The tears fell down her cheeks at such a rapid pace, that when Stefan moved to cup her face with both hands, one was already soaked. Before he could do anything, Caroline was pulling away and sliding off the car.

"I get it okay? Give it a good background, make it nice, and easy, and fake, and then-" Caroline rambled, causing Stefan to panic even more and move towards her.

"Caroline what are you talking about?"

But she was moving away from him, as if his mere presence propelled her away from him. The same ends of two magnets that would never quite touch, no matter how hard one tried.

"You broke up with Katherine because of what she did to me. But it's fine you know? Get back with Katherine and I'll go, I've put myself back together before and I can do it again and-"

"Wait what?" Stefan yelled, finally silencing her word vomit. "Caroline I didn't break up with Katherine in some sick way to get rid of you, I broke up with Katherine because she isn't you."

The blonde froze then, staring at the guy across from her, with his arms raised up in a sort of surrender. As the sun finally broke through the line of the horizon, and the raze of light hit the pair, Caroline continued to gaze.

"Really?"

It was a question that Caroline had asked so many times, to so many different people. She always used to hate herself for asking it because she thought that it made her look weak, as if she needed others to confirm things for her. As if she needed others to decide what she would do.

But looking at Stefan, bathed in an ethereal glow, it didn't feel like that. It didn't feel like she was asking her mother if her father truly loved her, or asking Klaus if she deserved what she received. No this wasn't asking to understand the value of herself, because she wasn't dependant on Stefan, or anyone else for that matter, to decide that for her.

Not anymore.

She was asking because she needed to be sure. If she jumped straight into this, head first and arms open, she wasn't sure if she could dig herself out.

"Caroline, my angel," Stefan said, moving towards her at a cautious page. "I was so sure what my life was before you. It was movie nights with my friends, and suffering through school, and living what I thought was an exciting life. And since you came here, nothing has changed except that my life is now actually exciting. You make me excited to exist again Caroline."

The blonde stepped forward to meet him, both now standing in front of Stefan's foot print covered car. At once they moved to grasp hands, wrapping their fingers around each other, as if they were never meant to fit anywhere else.

"You mean I'm that-" Caroline broke off, as if trying to find the right word.

"Stupendous, amazing," Stefan raised up their linked hands to the sky, "utterly _extraordinary_?"

Caroline giggled at his dramatics, biting her lip affectionately. "I was going to say weird."

Stefan chuckled in response, moving to rest his forehead against hers. "We're all weird, that's what makes you such a perfect fit."

At that point Caroline knew that he was talking about their friend group, but also the perfect fit with him. And as their lips joined together, Caroline couldn't help, but think that perhaps her lips were a perfect fit, at least when it came to Stefan's.

It wasn't like their first kiss, which was ridden with guilt and unknowingness. Rather this one was filled with an air of comfort and possibility. As if they had come to a mutual agreement that they had all the time in the world, so there wasn't a need for hurrying their movements.

But then, as Caroline moved her hands up to his hair, she got flashes of another kiss. One hidden in a classroom, one that should've never happened.

When she shook herself out of the trance she realized that Stefan had backed her up against the hood of the car, without her knowing it. Looping her hands around his neck, she allowed him to lift her onto the metal, giggling as she slid a little.

His kisses were still light and gentle, with so much care, but despite his mouth not being curious, his hands were. It was as if he couldn't touch enough of her, his hands moving from her waist to her cheeks and then into her hair. Meanwhile, Caroline was gripping onto his hair, pulling it lightly as she gave his tongue access into her mouth.

Stefan refused to wrestle with her tongue, but suddenly that was all the Caroline wanted. This was too similar, too real, and if he changed tactics then maybe it would be okay. If he didn't treat her like she would fucking break it would be okay.

But then his wandering hands hit the bandages on her side, causing her to wince in pain. Suddenly, all of her passion stopped as she dropped her hands, and collapsed onto his shoulder, images flying past her eyes that she never wanted to see.

* * *

 

_They broke apart with a gasp, Caroline biting her lip and giggling at the look of passion on his face._

_"This is a bad idea," she claimed, even as she stroked his stubble with her hands._

_Klaus leaned forward and pecked her lips quickly. "Now, you're just saying that because I got paint on your dress yesterday."_

_Caroline screeched, as Klaus picked her up and put her on one of the only clean art tables. She almost snapped at him, as the last time that he did this was when there was still wet paint on the table, meaning that she had to explain to her mom why her white dress was stained green._

_But then he was kissing her cheek, her nose, her forehead, and the corner of her lip. It didn't stop until he was sure that he kissed every inch of her face, all the while whispering sweet words in her ear._

_This was why she snuck in here at lunch and after school. This was why she hardly hung out with friends or her mom anymore, not with this man in front of her. Not with him telling her the sweetest things that she's ever heard, and she knew that it had only been a month, but God she could fall love with him tomorrow._

_"Why do you even like me this much?" Caroline suddenly asked, while Klaus was sucking on her neck. "Like look at me."_

_Klaus leaned back until they were face to face, when he smiled sweetly at her. "I am looking at you. You're the most gorgeous and wonderful person I've ever laid my eyes on. I'm lucky to have you Love, not the other way around."_

* * *

 

"Caroline?" Stefan called, as if trying to pull her back to the real world.

She could feel herself now, her head leaning on Stefan's shoulder, her feet now on the ground, but still pushed up against the car. She must have slid off while she was wrapped up in memories.

"Are you okay?" Stefan asked, stroking her hair to try and calm her.

Caroline lifted her head, wiping her tears with her hands, as she gazed at him. "You can't do that," she told him, in a small voice.

"Do what?"

Caroline let out a breath. "You can't kiss me so gently, as if I might break. I know why you're doing it, but he did the same thing. And one day your kisses won't become soft anymore, because you've had a bad day at work, or you had a fight with Damon, or you'll suddenly decide that I'm your punching bag."

Stefan furrowed his eyebrows, moving to cup her cheeks and wipe off the tears that continued to be formed. "I'll never-"

"That's what he said. Right at the beginning he told me that he would never hurt me and that I was this great thing that was bigger than my dad and him." Caroline moved her eyes so that she wasn't looking at him, her voice becoming so quiet that Stefan could hardly hear her. "That's how he got me devoted and I know that you don't want to do that, because you're you, but," she trailed off.

"But you're scared you'll be mislead again."

Caroline nodded, remembering a time only a year after that day in the art room, when everything was so different.

* * *

 

_She went to his house after school everyday during the week. There was no more committees, or friends, or watching TV shows with her mom. No there was Klaus, and making dinner for Klaus, and talking to Klaus, and sleeping with…_

_Caroline shook her head to remove the thought process from her mind, as she continued to stir the pasta for dinner She knew that Klaus had to go and visit his parents, as they were going back to England soon, but Klaus hated his parents. Which meant that Caroline had to be extra careful tonight of all nights, so everything had to be perfect, including dinner._

_About ten minutes later, when Caroline was about to put the spaghetti on the table, she heard the door open, signalling that Klaus had arrived. She quickly scooped the pasta onto the two dishes, and ran them over to their placemats in front of the chairs. She tried to ignore the fact that her fifteen year old hands were shaking, as she put all of the pots into the sink._

_While she filled them up with water, she felt Klaus move to stand behind her body. She sighed as he pushed her hair over her shoulder and kissed her neck in what was supposed to be a loving way._

_"Hello Love," he greeted, rubbing her sides, causing her to close her eyes in pain when he hit a bruise._

_"Hi," she answered. "How was the dinner with your parents?"_

_Klaus sighed, as he moved over towards the table to get started on his dinner, leaving Caroline to sigh with relief before she moved to join him. "Oh not very pleasant I'm afraid, you know what my parents are like."_

_Ah yes she did know, for she had met them many times. Especially right at the beginning of their relationship when Caroline thought that Klaus showing her off had been a good thing, and not something to fear. When she still believed that she was more than a doll to her boyfriend._

_"Well at least you got to see them before they went back to the UK," Caroline reasoned, taking care to roll up her spaghetti enough so that sauce wouldn't go everywhere._

_The dinner continued in a strained silence, the only sound was the clang of the cutlery against the plates. It wasn't until they had eaten about half of their meal that Klaus spoke up again._

_"You know they say that the quickest way to lose weight now is to eat half of everything."_

_It was said in passing, but Caroline knew what it truly was. A threat. "Oh really?" she asked, feigning curiosity._

_"Yea, maybe you should give it a try Love."_

_Caroline swallowed back the tears that formed in her eyes, as she nodded and rose from the table. "Good idea, besides I was getting full anyway." The rumble of her stomach contradicted her words, but Klaus didn't notice, he never did anymore._

_She tried to suck in her stomach whilst she picked up her dishes. She remembered her father commenting on her weight when she was younger. Klaus always claimed that he would never say what her father did. So if he was telling her that she needed to lose weight, than it must be true._

_It was hours later, after she had cleaned up from dinner and had a glass of water to fill the gap in her stomach, when Klaus was watching TV. She walked in there, with her coat hanging off of her arm, in hopes that perhaps she could get home with enough time to do some of her homework._

_"Klaus I think I'm going to go-"_

_But she had barely gotten the words out, when Klaus pulled her down and trapped her underneath him. His lips were on her, all teeth and fierceness, as if he was trying to suck the life out of her through her mouth._

_When he pulled away for air, she could see that his eyes were leaking angry tears, and she knew immediately that his father had said something to him. She knew what that was like, probably more than anyone, so how could she leave him?_

_"You know he's wrong, right?" she whispered. "Just like you always said mine was."_

_But Klaus didn't respond, only dived back in with teeth and hands, sprouting new injuries all over her body. However, Caroline didn't cry, not until she got home ad had to take a shower, after all she had to be there for him, because he had been there for her._

_Hadn't he?_

* * *

 

"Klaus' dad was the same as yours?"

Caroline nodded, biting her lip with nerves. "I think that's why we lasted for so long because if I left him, why would anyone stay with me?"

Stefan didn't know what to say, so he just pulled her towards his body until they were locked in an embrace. Caroline sighed into his shoulder, taking in his scent, before pulling away while still keeping her arms locked around him.

"That's why I need you to be sure, because if I dive into this, I'm all in. But at the same time I don't want you to swear things to me either because I just, I want us to be like a normal relationship."

Stefan placed a kiss on her forehead, lovingly. "Look I don't know how to do this okay? My only experience with this has been Katherine, but I'll try my hardest, and if I do something wrong you need to tell me, okay?"

Caroline nodded, smiling for the first time in a while, as she leaned forward and kissed him slowly. She turned them so that they were both leaning back on Stefan's car, and then separated from Stefan, so that she could watch the sun.

"So we're really doing this?" she asked, with her arm wrapped around him and her head leaning on his shoulder.

"Well I really like you, so I'm in it if you are," Stefan answered, finding her more interesting than the sun.

Caroline turned to him and smiled, "Definitely."

The pair looking back at the sun then. Stefan in a wrinkled up dress shirt and pants, Caroline in a large sweatshirt and comfortable leggings. They were completely different, but as the sun bathed them in a golden light they looked more similar than they ever had before.

* * *

  _In the black night, melting away,  
_ _as the red sun rolls in its place  
_ _She sat up stretched and reached for the edge of the sky  
_ _Then opened her eyes and woke up_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who's back, back again. The worst Steroline fic author EVER! I'm super shit and believe me I could bore you with details as to why this took me so long, but instead I am just going to apologize and swear that the next update will be soon. ANYWAY, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, that was so sweet it could give anyone a cavity. We got another view of teh Klaus and Caroline relationship, and a small glimpse as to how Steroline will act as a couple.
> 
> But how will their friends react? And what about Katherine? I mean do you guys really think that she'll go down without a fight?
> 
> This chapter was named after "Waking Up" by the amazing band Parachute, go give it a listen, and you can thank me later. Please leave a review because I love reading them, and I always answer them at the beginning of every chapter. Also come bug me on tumblr because my friend (are we friends now? I'm gonna say yea) @stefansalfatore (go check her out, she's great) sends me messages constantly, and is a big reason as to why this chapter is out now. Love you all!
> 
> ~Lizzie
> 
> Blog: sterolineislightDOTtumblrDOTcom  
> Playlist: youtubeDOTcom/playlist?list=PL4rm2mcdb_jcdtdu7m6_yDVmgTmBFjRR8


End file.
